


Off to a Great Start

by ShadowtheStoryteller



Series: Adventures of An Idiot (And the Idiot is Me) [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: 70 percent of this is me being salty, Clone Troopers - Freeform, Clone Wars, F/M, First fic in YEARS, How Do I Tag, Original Character(s), Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Original Species, Self-Indulgent, Self-Insert, at least give it a try, crosshair is fun to piss off, how do I summary, hunter probably wants to stab me, im self aware, im trying, or making fun of this for being a self insert, recently updated and chapters moved around so comments don't match up opps, shadow hyder on tumblr if you want to interact more with my insane self, tech is baby, why am i so full of rage and ready to fight everyone and everything, why am i such a mess, wrecker is chaos incarnate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:48:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 65,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23769517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowtheStoryteller/pseuds/ShadowtheStoryteller
Summary: While sitting in my room, vibin', I'm suddenly launched into the Clone Wars universe and find myself on a world in the Outer Rim. Salt ensues, but I soon realize I have bigger problems; the Bad Batch is after me to help them on a mission. Why, you may ask? Good question. Let's find out together. (Outdated, chapters will all be remastered on Dec. 5)
Relationships: Clone Force 99 | Bad Batch/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Adventures of An Idiot (And the Idiot is Me) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1712326
Comments: 331
Kudos: 190





	1. Ch. 1 Not Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clone troopers, am I right?  
> Gotta love hyperfixating on the Bad Batch! It's even better when you decide to make a self insert fic that makes fun of the fact its a self insert. It's the standard drill: fan of the show gets sucked into the universe and proceeds to fall for the Bad Batch. As you do. 
> 
> But how often do you get to read a story where that self insert is well aware of her predicament and is salty about it?  
> Look no further than this dumpster fire of a fic! It's got it all! Salt, worldbuilding, salt, the bad batch, salt, shenanigans, salt, humor, and... oh yeah! SALT. 
> 
> Buckle up, we goin for a RIDE.
> 
> Welcome to the remastered Off to a Great Start!

Again.

It happened… again.

I’m just chillin’ in my room, mindin’ my own business, then the universe says “YEET” and I find myself in a fandom. Literally.

I just really hoped I didn’t end up with a gang of armed idiots again. I was getting sick to the back teeth of dealing with that, no matter how fun it was. Why couldn’t I get thrown into a peaceful fandom? One that didn’t include walking disasters such as a crew full of idiot sailors with their treasure hunting and drug smuggling schemes.

Can’t win ‘em all, I guess. Or any in my case. The universe loved to make me suffer for _some_ reason.

Figuring out how I got here would be nice. I could almost call it normal by this point, or as normal as it could be. But I never quite figured how it happened. Magic? Imagination? Dreaming? Drugs?

All I knew was one moment I was just in my room, vibin’ and having a good ol’ time, and then, suddenly, I’m not.

 _Better get this over with._ Lifting my head, I blinked open my eyes.

A man not much older than me sat across from me, teeth bared in a crazed grin as his green eyes gleamed. He looked smaller than he had during the last round of shenanigans, but I didn’t think much of it. Bigger issues. 

“Welcome to a galaxy far, far away, Shadow,” he said, brushing black hair from his eyes.

“Trevor,” I groaned, sitting up on the stool. “So, it’s the Star Wars universe this time, huh? Which show, book, or movie are we in?” As I finished, I glanced around to see where the hell I’d ended up.

A large room, far more Earth-like in architecture than expected, that functioned as a kitchen, living room, and eating area with a small countertop area separating the living room and kitchen. Behind me, two doors led to what I assumed was a bedroom and a bathroom. Back in the living room, at the far end curtains drawn to the side revealed sliding glass doors leading out to a balcony overlooking a sprawling mass of lush mountains. The slightest hint of golds and yellows hinted at the imminent arrival of fall. 

_Mountains, huh? Good, maybe I can just flee into the woods and be a hermit. They’re pretty popular in this fandom after all. But how ironic it’s fall here while spring in reality._

“You’re in that Clone Wars show you adored as a kid,” Trevor replied, pulling me out of my musings.

 _Oh no_.

“On a little backwater world in the Outer Rim.”

 _Oh good_.

“There’s a twist to this universe, of course, but I’ll let you figure that out when… _they_ get here.”

 _Oh_ **_no_ **.

“Excuse me, who’s this… they?” I asked, abruptly standing. Feeling weight on my belt, I looked down and nearly jumped out of my skin. “And these better not be lightsabers!”

“But they are! Careful opening them, they’ll draw attention,” Trevor laughed.

Quickly unclipping them, I chucked them behind the couch. “Nope! Not dealin’ with that. I’m gonna make like Kenobi and peace out into the wilderness if I gotta deal with even one Jedi or the Head Albino Prune.” Order 66 flashed across my mind. “On second thought, I’m ending that bastard even if I gotta do so with a dinner fork.”

A dark eyebrow raised at the threat. “You may get the chance eventually! And relax, you’re no Jedi or Sith. Not Force sensitive either, but you do have telekinesis should you decide to mess with people!” he said, still grinning.

I glared at him before stalking towards the bedroom. “I’m taking a nap.”

“You just woke up!”

“And I’m about to un-wake up. Good day.”

“Shadow!” Trevor complained, jumping up. “You can’t nap now, they’ll be here in about an hour!”

“Who in the hell or hells is they?” I snapped, feeling something swish angrily behind me. Glancing back, I yelped. “The hell is _this_?”

 _I’m a damn_ **_furry_ ** _? Fuck’s sake!_

Trevor laughed as I took in the fluffy calico tail that had fluffed to twice its size. “You’re an Alphian with a little bit of Relk in your blood! You know, the species you created for your original stories which you have currently been procrastinating on?”

 _Ok, not a full furry then. Explains why most of me looks human,_ I thought, looking at my arms, upper legs, and torso before feeling my face. “But that ain’t in the Star Wars universe though!” I protested, staring at the calico appendage behind me before looking down to my lower legs and plantigrade feline feet, which were the same color as the tail aside from the white reaching to my ankles. Reaching up, I felt the tall, soft ears and frowned. “Wait, does this mean I’m actually in my original stories, which have for some reason merged into Star Wars?”

He grinned and spread his arms wide. “Surprise!”

That complicated things. I wasn’t the size of a full grown Alphian, which led me to believe I was my same age as real life, or nearly twenty. But to have lightsabers, telekinesis, and the powers of an Alphian…

What kind of overpowered Mary Sue nonsense?

“Now I remember why I hate surprises,” I groaned, resisting the urge to smack my hand into my forehead.

“Don’t you enjoy morbid plot twists and character deaths?”

“When I’m the one writing them!” I shouted back, feeling my tail lash and my ears pin against my skull. I jerked a thumb towards myself. “ _Not_ when they happen to me!”

He cringed. “Oh, that’s not good then. Because you’ve got another big surprise headin’ your way!”

 _Another_?! “Ain’t you a figment of my imagination that gained life somehow?” I demanded, exasperated. “Why is it you know things before I do?!”

“You gave me psychic powers, remember? Said it would be funny.”

“I was _wrong_ ,” I grumbled. “So very, _very_ wrong.”

Trevor laughed. “On the contrary, you were right to do that! I can warn you before some things happen! Like I’m warning you that you may want to familiarize yourself with the Fireman’s Tunnel in the library, the Tower, and the Anthill!”

“The who, the what, and the where?” I stammered.

“Go frolic! They’re on their way!” Trevor sang, bouncing towards the door.

“Hold it, mister!” I said, grabbing his arm. At least as an Alphian I was slightly taller than he was. “You ain’t goin’ nowhere until you spill the beans on who this ‘they’ is that you’re goin’ on about!”

“Fine, fine! Let go, you’re much stronger as an Alphian,” he exclaimed, tugging his arm.

I felt my ears flatten but I let go. Concentrating hard, I shifted into the Omega form, now looking fully human and standing only five foot five so I’d at least be able to blend easier. I felt my knees buckle as the shift briefly sapped my energy, and I grabbed onto the chair. This would take some getting used to again. Pointing angrily at Trevor, I spat, “Spill it before I test what element I’ve got.”

“I get it! Would it help if I said you’re probably already matching them with your shirt?”

I looked down. Black T-shirt with crimson trim around the shoulder seams and down the sides. “Uh, no.”

“Alright,” Trevor said before a large, demented grin spread across his face. “They’re… clones!” He dashed out the door.

“This is the _Clone_ Wars!” I snarled after him, following close behind. “There’s an entire army of clones! That’s one of the most unhelp things you’ve ever…”

I froze after rushing out, however, for in the central atrium of the apartment building a large structure stretched from the ground floor all the way to the fourth story skylight right above my head. “A freakin’ playground?” I shouted, voice echoing around the open space.

“We like to have fun at this outpost! Welcome to the Tower!” Trevor laughed, trotting back to me.

What kind of bullshit was I getting into this time around? “Trevor, where the hell are we?”

“Like I said, outpost in the Outer Rim!” He pointed into my room towards the balcony and the mountains stretching beyond them. “You work as a guide and know these mountains like the back of your hand!”

I barely had time to get out a “What?” before a massive influx of information slammed into my brain.

Deep gorges, the walls stretching high above my head and funneling the brisk wind into me. Sunlight glinting through the lush forest at dawn, striking the morning mist and illuminating everything with a blazing golden glow. Rocky outcroppings overlooking vast expenses of forest, trees as far as I could see stretching into the distance and fading to a smoky blue color. Puffy clouds floating carelessly high above, the bright white in stark contrast with the gorgeous blue sky that went on forever and ever. Shadowy thickets, moss coating every bare patch of rock and fallen log as the spray from the creek coated everything in a fine layer of mist. Bird song echoing through immense trunks, water roaring as it tumbled over rocks and cliffs, rocks clattering as they tumbled down exposed granite.

Shouting in pain, I reeled back before falling to my knees, a hand on my head. Breathing heavily, I clenched my teeth as a wave of agony tore through my skull. While the information dumps aided me in assimilating into the fandom, I dreaded them for this very reason. Clutching my chest, I waited for my heart to stop bouncing around and get back into a normal rhythm. Literally nothing about this was pleasant.

“You’re welcome!” Trevor sang.

“Thanks, I hate it,” I hissed, a pounding headache making spots flash across my eyes. “Any more information I need to suddenly have?”

“Well… the Anthill.”

Another wave of information hit me. A large, two story artificial mound made to mimic an ant mound, only with tunnels large enough for adults to fit through and an open chamber in the center. The area around it built to mimic a yard, if humans were the size of ants. Tall stalks of grass, fallen twigs, fake ants, even a lost sneaker. Memories flooded over me, most of them about… Capture the Flag? Freeze Tag? Sardines? Laughter filled my ears, playful taunts and empty threats. I was crouched beside someone with freckles, bright ginger hair, and a mischievous crooked smile. A name flashed across my brain. Scooter. More running, ducking, crawling, jumping, and just an all-around good time.

Unfortunately, the warm feeling didn’t stay as I came back to the present.

Panting as the images subsided, I looked up to Trevor. “Why the hell would clones be coming here?” I hissed through clenched teeth as nausea rolled over me, making the ground sway beneath me. “Ain’t no droids!” 

“Shouldn’t have asked that, Shadow!” Trevor said with a laugh.

More information flooded my brain. A colossal chamber, light shining down from a hole high above, a pedestal in the center of the room, a sleek orb of stone hovering in the center of the pedestal, ivy coating the walls, ferns dotting the edge. The orb… what was it? What did it mean? Why was it significant? But I couldn’t hold the image.

I found myself sitting on the floor with my head in my hands. I felt _sick,_ far worse than I had after the damn wall of death storm I endured on the ship in the middle of the Atlantic. I thought my head would split in two and if it didn’t on its own then I’d cleave it in half myself. “Ugh, that’s it. No more questions from me, me and my remainin’ braincell will stay in the unknown.”

“But you must go _into_ the unknown!” Trevor beamed.

“ _No_ singing,” I snarled, jabbing a ginger in his direction. “I’ll yeet you over this banister.”

He held up his hands. “Alright, I yield. There’s one more bit of information you need, though. I can just show you myself. It’s down in the library. The Fireman’s Tunnels.”

Head still aching, blurring my sight, I shook my head. “I’m lying down for a few.”

“You may want to know this, Shadow.”

I glared up at him. “How many clones?”

“Four.”

“Only four? Then I’ll wing it. Worked in college.” I retreated back to my room.

“Are you sure about that?”

“Yes, John Cena. Now make like the wrestler and vanish from my sight.” I slammed the door and headed for the couch.

Four clones.

Just four.

No big deal.

How hard could it be to stay away from four clones?

Around an hour later, as I laid face down on the couch despising my existence as usual, Trevor’s voice crackled to life from a communicator lying on the coffee table.

“They’ve arrived!”

I groaned and pressed my face deeper into the couch pillow.

“Shadowww!”

Could I die in this fandom? An odd question to a normal person, perhaps, but in the past when I’d found myself in a fictional universe, I hadn’t been an Alphian yet I couldn’t die. Not that Alphians couldn’t die, but they did have that whole thirteen lives thing. So, did I have thirteen lives, or was I invincible?

“Shads!”

If I could die, maybe I could smother myself with a pillow and not deal with Trevor’s shenanigans.

“Paging Shadow. Paging Shadow.”

Morbid, perhaps, but this man…

“Got some people here lookin’ for ya!”

Snatching the communicator, I growled, “Tell ‘em to bugger off. I don’t want nothin’ to do with ‘em.”

Trevor laughed nervously. Why would he be nervous of four clone troopers? “Shadow, that’s rude.”

I had to laugh. “Oh ho no, that ain’t rude. I can be rude if you’d like.”

“No need to cuss like a sailor, Shads!”

“Fuck your chicken strips.”

“Just come down. Please? I’ll get you fresh fruit if you do!” Trevor bargained.

Fresh fruit. One of my few weaknesses. Offer me fresh strawberries, pineapple, watermelon, or mango and I’d just about kill someone for you.

Trevor chuckled. “I know it’s like crack to you!”

“At least it’s healthy crack,” I grumbled. There were worse things that could tempt people into bad decisions. “Fine… let me find my shoes…”

“See you soon! Love you, dear!”

“Take a long walk off a short pier,” I hissed back, tossing the communicator back on the coffee table. Shoving my face into the pillow, I waited until there was no more air left in my lungs before finally rolling off the couch and stalking to my room.

Managing to find some shoes and socks, I grumbled under my breath as I put them on and started outside. It was only after I shut the door and it clicked, locking behind me, that I realized I did not have the key on me.

Face deadpan, I inhaled deeply.

This day.

It was not a happy day.

“All in not good in the neighborhood…”

I glanced at the Tower before stalking across a bridge to the large open area surrounded by netting on all sides that served as the top level. Did it have a slide that went all the way to the bottom? 

I did not want to walk. 

Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Luckily for me, and any unfortunate soul I’d have run into going down the steps, it did have a slide.

Hopping out, I glanced around before seeing a sign for the library. Not caring enough to question the architecture, I trotted up a flight of stairs and headed for the library. Stepping inside, I glanced around the two story room for Trevor and whoever he was so eager for me to meet. 

What was so special about just four clones-

I froze.

Oh.

 _Oh_.

 **_Oh_ **.

Why didn’t it register when he said four clones? Why didn’t it register when he said my shirt matched? 

I should have known. What other group of four clones had I been recently exposed to?

Three men clad in black and red armor. One man in red and white. 

One built like a bear.

One skinny as hell.

One lean and agile.

One with broad shoulders. 

My jaw dropped at the gang of crazy commando misfits.

Experimental Clone Force 99.

The Bad Batch themselves.

This bad day had just turned even worse.


	2. Ch. 2 Meet the Maniacs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins. We are off to a grand start, are we not?   
> Also a black belt definitely has its perks, such as being able to yeet annoyances.

I quickly scanned the men, heart in my throat as I slowly stepped backwards.

Crosshair stood by Hunter at the front, arms crossed. Tech hovered around a bookshelf, running his hand along the book spines as he passed. Wrecker lingered in the back, alternating between watching Tech and listening to Trevor energetically describe who knows what. The grin on Trevor’s face as he talked was enough to solidify my decision to peace the hell out.

Much as I adored these clones, until I knew why they were here I did not want them to see me. Especially since Trevor had implied they were here for me in particular. 

Turning, I tried to sneak back out so I could run into the Tower and vanish. I’d just hide in there until they left. It’d be fine!

No... they wouldn’t leave. They wouldn’t leave until they caught me. This group had a 0% fail rate. I was small potatoes in terms of difficulty, or however that idiom went.

But there was no reason to make it too easy on them. Time to see if all those games of manhunt paid off. I always won those. It helped having a military dad who taught you escape and evasion techniques from an early age. But would that be enough against these commandos who’d had nothing  _ but _ military training from day one?

_ Don’t sell yourself short _ .  _ You’ve got a better chance than you would otherwise. But you need to get out before they see you and lock onto you as a target. It’s easier to escape if they don’t know what to look for. One foot in front of the other, don’t be suspicious, don’t be suspicious- _

“And there she is now! Shadow!”

_ Dammit _ ! I sheepishly looked over my shoulder. “Yeah?” 

Trevor beckoned me over, a wide grin plastered across his face. “Come here for a second!” he called.

I gulped as the Bad Batch looked my way. Well, they’d seen me now. “See, I’d love to, um, do that... but I, er, left my ice in the freezer!”

_ Oh… just shoot me. _

Tech’s head jerked slightly as he came to stand by his brothers. “Ice is supposed to be in the freezer. That is why we put water in the freezer in the first place.” He gestured vaguely with his hands. “To freeze it? It would be counterintuitive to put water anywhere else!”

“It’s a special type of ice!” I yelped, turning to flee.

“Oh no,” Hunter muttered under his breath, shaking his head.

“Shadow, don’t go runnin’ off just yet!” Trevor said, racing over and pushing me towards the Bad Batch.

“Trev, I got things to do! Places to go and people to  _ not _ see!” I protested, but it was too late.

I stood less than three feet from Hunter, and I knew for a fact he could hear my heart rate. Tech tilted his head to the side again as he looked at me, Crosshair faintly snorted as he looked me up and down, and Wrecker gave a chuckle at my startled face.

“She’s small!” the bear of a man announced.

_ I’m a tall midget, damn it _ . “Er... howdy?” I said, giving them a nervous smile and wave.

I always thought I’d be brave and impressive whenever I thought about meeting fandom characters but in reality, my brain said “Run”, complete with the bass drop. I could hold my own, at least for a little, but in this case… nope I was gone. 

“These men said they were looking for a guide to lead them to the Vault, and they heard you were a good guide!” Trevor chirped. “They came to talk to you about it!”

_ Just my luck. I know how these self insert missions go. There be shippin’ shenanigans and I ain’t dealin’ with that. With lockdown having me affection starved and my  _ **_utter_ ** _ incompetence when it comes to emotions… hell nah. _

The last thing I needed was for this nightmare to get worse by dealing with an attraction towards a lethal commando unit. Things were bad enough as is without emotional shenanigans.

_ Don’t you already have a crush on literally all of them? _

_ Begone, inner voice! _

Realizing Hunter was probably expecting an answer, I scratched the back of my head. “Er, I’d love to chat but you see-”

“This won’t take long,” Hunter said gruffly as he crossed his arms. “I’m sure your…  _ special _ ice will be fine.”

_Wait, did he just crack a joke?_ _I shouldn’t be surprised. He’d shown a dry sense of humor in the episodes, after all..._ I thought, trying to ignore the fact his voice sounded better in person. 

_ Stop  _ **_it_ ** _.  _

Trevor elbowed me. “Shadow, like you said! They’re  _ just _ clones! One guy is a bit tall but still!”

“I didn’t know you meant  _ these _ four!” I protested. “They’re worse than normal clones!”

As soon as the words left my mouth, I saw Crosshair stiffen. Must have rubbed him the wrong way. No, of course I did. They spent their entire lives being called outcasts and rejects. Treated worse than the normal clone and that was saying something. Then I go and say that.

_ Wonderful first impression _ .

Maybe if I acted twitchy enough they’d leave me alone and go after someone else. There had to be  _ some _ other guide in this place. 

I quickly shook my head. “I mean no offense to y’all, I’m sure you’re a lovely bunch at the end of the day. Just… soldiers, especially a commando unit, puts me majorly on edge.”

Trevor laughed. “Nonsense. It’s only four men!” Turning to them, he grinned. “She’d be happy to take you up the mountain!”

“Will I now?!” I demanded through gritted teeth and a painfully obvious fake smile. 

Oh man, that painted helmet of Hunter’s was disconcerting. At least I could see Tech’s eyes. The nerd looked to be analyzing me, finding weak points. I tried to not favor my bad knee. Tech’s eyes slightly narrowed before he went to tapping on his vambrace again.

Wrecker began to circle around Crosshair and head towards me. “She looks scared of us!” he laughed. “Why ya scared, we ain’t gonna hurtcha!”

“Who wouldn’t be concerned at four armed to the teeth commando superhumans?” I shifted my weight to my toes as I took a step back. Wrecker was strong, but most likely not fast. If things went south, I’d probably need to kick Hunter first to slow him down if only a little, so I only had to then worry about Crosshair and Tech. I could probably muscle Crosshair, Tech too.

But Hunter and especially Wrecker? Nah.

Hunter glanced back. “Wrecker,” he barked, jerking his head for the man to step back.

“I’m not gonna hurt her, Sarge!” Wrecker protested.

“You’re still a big fella,” I muttered, stepping further from the group before glaring at Trevor once more. “I don’t like military stuff, Trevor. You know how I am about that. I just wanna vibe in peace. Listen to the birds, watch the clouds, curse skeeters as they try to drain me of every drop of blood I have.” My voice raised in pitch as I laughed uneasily. “You know, the lovely things in life!”

“Favor to me?” Trevor pouted.

My nervous smile immediately dropped to a scowl. “No. I don’t even like you. I’m just stuck with you because I can’t seem to get rid of you no matter how much I try.”

He dropped to his knees in dramatic fashion. Clasping his hands together, he whined, “Please?”

“I know you ain’t got a shred of dignity, but could you at least  _ pretend _ to!?” I exclaimed in exasperation, throwing my hands up. It was good to have an ally aware of my fandom hopping tendencies, but why did it have to be  _ this _ idiot? “You’re an embarrassment to nature, d’ya know that?”

“Listen, kid-”

The moment Hunter’s hand touched my shoulder, I shot backwards into a fighting stance and struck at the bundle of nerves on the side of his wrist.

Jerking his hand back with a small hiss of pain, Hunter didn’t move as he stared at me. The others had gone still as well. Shit. Now they knew I had training. I figured my build and the arm muscles would have given it away, but apparently not since he’d tried to grab me.

_ Great… now it’s gonna be even harder to convince them to leave now that they know you’re capable! _

“I see you’re still working on your martial arts skills!” Trevor said, jumping up and punching me in the arm. “Good thing too! Wouldn’t want it to slip away from you!”

“Martial arts?” Hunter asked, shaking his hand once before letting it fall back to his side.

“Yeah!” Trevor chirped. “Shadow here is a bl-”

I slapped my hand over his mouth. “Blue belt! Just a harmless little blue belt, still learning my third kata!”

Trevor tugged my hand off. “Shadow, you are being very suspicious right now. Why not just tell them that you’re-”

“I am two seconds away from subjecting you to a Vibe Check you will  _ not _ pass!” I hissed, pointing a stiff finger at him.

“Vibe Check?” Wrecker echoed. “What’s a Vibe Check?” He gave a small bounce. “Is it violent?”

I glanced at him.  _ Oh no. _

“Not sure what a blue belt is, but I know You aren’t a low rank,” Hunter commented. “I can tell that much.”

“Oh?” I asked, shifting again. “Why you say that?”

“Aside from the precise block?” Hunter asked dryly. He gestured towards my feet. “Your stance gives you away. Always on your toes ready to move. Your arms are also muscular, but not in a way that suggests gym time. Yours are from use.”

“Thanks for the assessment, Sergeant,” I muttered.  _ Guess he did notice the muscles. Good. I worked hard for these _ .

Hunter huffed in what I assumed was his laugh. “Regardless, I’d still be very interested to learn your rank.”

“What a coincidence, I ain’t interested in sharin’!”

“Why not?” Tech asked. “It is a harmless question.”

No it wasn’t. Being underestimated was a great tool for deception and it could give me just enough of an advantage.

_ Advantage to what? Try and outrun  _ **_this_ ** _ group? _

_ Maybe. Go away. _

“Don’t really see how my martial arts skill level is relevant to this guide expedition you’re attemptin’ to shanghai me into anyways,” I replied. 

“So, you’ll do it? Great!” Trevor exclaimed, clapping with glee before wrapping his arms around me in a bearhug.

Face deadpan, I warned through gritted teeth, “Trev, either let go or I’m flippin’ you.”

“But you would reveal yourself to the troopers in front of you,” he taunted. “And you wouldn’t want to do tha- EEIK!”

Stomping my heel down on his toe, I stepped sideways into a deep stance and punched outward with both hands. Slamming my elbow back into his gut, I grabbed his right arm and jerked him over my shoulder. He crashed into the ground in front of me, his right arm now pinned over my left knee in an arm bar. Pressing down, I forced him further onto his side before punching him hard in the ribs then rolling my fist to nail him in the groin.

At the last second, I pulled the strike, growling, “I warned you, idiot.” Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Tech had ventured closer and seemed to be inspecting how I kneeled on the ground and held Trevor in an armbar. Not wanting him to study it too closely and use the information against me later, I flung Trevor’s arm away. I then flinched at a loud noise. Was a bomb going off? I looked up.

Nope, that was Wrecker’s laughter. His entire body shook with it as he elbowed Crosshair. “So that’s a Vibe Check! I like it!”

_ What have I done? _

“And Small Fry can fight!” Wrecker continued. 

“That remains to be seen,” Crosshair muttered, looking me up and down.

Wrecker smacked his shoulder. “C’mon, Crosshair! She flipped him with no problem!”

_ Dang this boy is loud _ .

“Technically she only drug him around her shoulder,” Tech pointed out, looking back at his brothers as he pointed a finger upwards to emphasize his words.

_ Animated nerd _ .

“But she can flip people too!” Trevor coughed from the floor. “What’s that one self-defense called that you sometimes use? Cross peal pivot? Or was it one of the jukendo? Knife defense? Arm break neck pin?”

“Self-defense. Swing low and roll,” I grumbled, brushing myself off and shaking my hair back into place as I stood up. I rubbed my temple. “I shouldn’t have pulled the groin strike…”

“Was the elbow strike not enough pain?” Trevor panted, slowly rolling to his hands and knees before getting to his feet.

I glared at him. “For your annoyin’ ass, no.”

A truly even grin twisted Trevor’s face. “If you wanted to play nasty, you shoulda just said so.” He winked at me and straightened up. “Well! I’ll just leave you five to discuss the details.”

I glanced up suddenly at the Bad Batch. Oh… oh  _ shit _ . I was about to be alone with these guys?!  _ Abort mission!  _ “Wait… you’re leavin’?  _ Now _ ?”

“You can handle yourself,” he snickered, pushing himself to his feet. Slapping me on the shoulder, he grinned sadistically. “Good luck!” With that, he raced out of the library, leaving me alone with the Bad Batch. 


	3. Ch. 3 This is Where the Fun Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hardcore parkour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What book beginning is complete without a chase scene and accompanying chase music?   
> None!

I whipped around and stared after him as he bolted away. “Trevor, you stale end-piece of wheat bread! I’m gonna kick your ass!”

“So, about that guide work,” Hunter said, stepping forward.

“Er… right?” I looked left and right. Had everyone already cleared out? It was a library, but still! Adrenaline pulsed through me in rhythm with my heart, sending sharp spikes of electricity through my legs. 

Should I run now? Or wait? 

_ I need to wait. They’re all alert right now. Their guard may drop as time goes on. _

Hunter took off his helmet and tucked it under his arm as he shook his hair out. Deep brown eyes studied me for a moment. “I’m Sergeant Hunter, although I think you already know who we are judging by your reaction and the fact you addressed me by rank earlier.”

I nodded, staring at his hair. How did he keep it fluffy if he constantly had it tucked under that helmet? It looked really soft. Certainly more lifelike than in the cartoon, less straight and more wavy. 

_ No shit, this isn’t bound by the constraints of animation physics _ . 

His skin was darker too, closer to the original clone actor Mister Morrison. Certainly didn’t have that weird scratched look to it that the animation had. The man looked far younger than he had in the animation as well, or at least closer to the early twenties rather than late thirties or so.

Unfortunately that was  _ not _ helping the issue of my crush. 

_ So it begins. I’m a mess... _

“Clone Force 99, also known as the Bad Batch,” I said, distracted as I picked out the little details that set him apart from the cartoon. “Legendary super soldiers with a one hundred percent success rate and a habit of ensuing chaos wherever you go.”

“I guess our reputation gets around, even as far as the Outer Rim,” Hunter remarked, voice even but I could hear a note of pride.

_ Be proud of your boys, sergeant. After all you have been through, you deserve it. _

“Guess there’s no need to introduce my team,” the man continued, jerking a thumb back at his team.

My eyes darted to the other men as they removed their helmets. All younger looking just like Hunter. Oh thank goodness Tech’s hairline wasn’t tragic, although he kinda reminded me of a brown haired Tintin. Ironic given the last fandom I’d been stuck in. 

When my eyes fell on Crosshair, a strange thought scuttled across my mind. Did he chew on that toothpick with his helmet on? And where did he even get his spares anyways? Did he have a dedicated toothpick pocket on his armor? I had so many questions. 

At least his hairline was fixed too, and his hair looked less smooth and more spiky.

My eyes moved to Wrecker. Slightly darker skin but that smile was as chaotic as ever. His scar was perhaps the most different. Less like simple lines and more like a web of rough tissue coupled with patches of lighter and darker skin, plus half his ear was gone.

_ Damn. That  _ **_had_ ** _ to hurt. _

Whatever happened obviously hadn’t dampened his explosive personality. Maybe it fused with him. 

“I’m Wrecker!” he announced, shoving his hand towards me as he stepped forward.

_I know_ ** _exactly_** _who you are._ “Howdy, Wrecker,” I said, shaking his hand, feeling the warmth of his skin through the glove. I winced when I felt the bones in my own hand shift. “You tryin’ to shatter my metacarpals there, fella?” I asked, tugging it back.

“Metacarpals?” he frowned.

“The middle bones in your hand which are connected by the carpals to your radius and ulna,” Tech replied to Wrecker, eyeing me with new interest. “Connects the carpals to your phalanges.”

Poor Wrecker only looked more confused. “Pha-what?”

“Finger bones,” I offered, raising my hand and wiggling my fingers.

“And toes!” Tech added happily. “Did you know our bones don’t completely form until we’re adults?”

“Aye,” I said, crossing my arms. “Start with close to three hundred and end up with, what? Two o’ five?”

“We are born with three hundred bones even and they proceed to fuse together until we are left with two hundred and five,” Tech affirmed.

“Right, that’s why there’s fissures along our skull. It starts as many different bones and eventually connects to form one.”

“Exactly!” Tech said, a smile brightening his face. “I see you know your bones.”

“Bones are fun to know,” I said with a laugh. 

**_Focus_ ** _. You’re supposed to be waiting on them to drop  _ **_their_ ** _ guard. Don’t slip up because of the adorable nerd.  _

“Looks like Tech has a friend,” Crosshair sneered.

What had been a small, easy smile on my face due to the nerd quickly turned into a glare as I looked at Crosshair. “With a coworker like you he certainly doesn’t need enemies,” I snorted.

That got Wrecker laughing again. I suspected there wasn’t much that didn’t get this man laughing. But it was honestly half the reason he was one of my favorites. Goofy strong guys were my ultimate weakness. 

“She’s got spirit! Looks like you’ve got a rival for this mission, Crosshair! Gonna be fun to see someone stand up to ya!” Wrecker said, grinning my way.

“Hardly,” the skinny clone said, looking me up and down with a narrow-eyed expression that clearly said ‘I’m not impressed’. “She’s on the small side.” 

“Least I don’t look like a homicidal twig,” I grumbled, rolling my eyes.

Homicidal-?” Wrecker sputtered before wheezing. “That’s the best insult I’ve heard yet!” 

Crosshair’s brows raised in surprise at my comment before his eyes narrowed. Teeth pressing into his toothpick, he growled, “Disrespectful little-”

“Enough chatter,” Hunter ordered, glancing at Wrecker as the demolition expert gasped for air. Looking back to me, he said, “We were told you could lead us to the location of something called the Vault. It holds information we need.”

I narrowed my eyes. What could they possibly want with that alter looking thing? “Why are you lookin’ for it?”

“Unless you come with us, that’s classified.”

Classified? What exactly was I helping them do? Would it put me in danger? Would it put the outpost here in danger? Much as I liked these guys, this mission was straight up  _ sketch _ .

_ Really? You joined on with the  _ Karaboudjan  _ crew to go on a world wide treasure hunt with no issues and you’re worried about these guys? _

_ The  _ Karaboudjan  _ dimwits weren’t genetically altered mutated supercommandos, just homicidal crazies _ . 

_ C’mon, Ollie had to be fused with  _ **_something_ ** _. _

“We’re at an impasse, Sergeant,” I said with a shake of my head. “I can’t help you.”

“Can’t?” Hunter asked, tone turning dangerous as he took a small step forward. “Or won’t?”

“I respect you and your team enough to be honest. I won’t,” I said, shifting my weight to my toes again. “I am not gettin’ tangled up in any more shenanigans for a long time. I’ve had my share. I’ll take my chances with the mosquitos and ticks around the outpost.”

“Are you sure about that?” he asked in a low tone. “Think carefully, Shadow.”

I fought off a shiver. If his stern gaze wasn’t intimidating enough, that tattoo didn’t help matters. But if I had learned anything while with the sailors in the Tintin fandom, it was that you  _ never _ back down from someone trying to intimidate you. They’d just do it again later. Best to look ‘em in the eye and show you were not a pushover. Just be prepared to deal with swinging fists or a knife depending on the man.

Would Hunter stab me? Maybe. 

But if this fandom fiasco was like the last one, getting stabbed would not affect me. 

_ Thought we were actin’ weaker to throw them off.  _

_ There’s a difference between physical weakness and mental weakness. Physically I need them to underestimate me, but mentally? Hell no.  _

Swallowing, I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders. Surprise flickered across Hunter’s face when I didn’t cower away from him, which could be good or bad. Taking a step forward, I held his gaze and growled, “I said  _ no _ . I get you ain’t used to hearin’ that, sergeant, but I don’t work well with  _ threats _ .”

His brow faintly arched upwards. “I don’t do threats,” he said, glaring down at me as a small smirk tugged his lips. “I make  _ promises _ .”

_ Ok but like… that’s hot _ . Scolding myself angrily, I planted my feet firmly, refusing to back down from Hunter, even as I felt my face heat and a surge of fear race down my spine. 

Oh man was it  _ hard _ to keep my gaze locked with his. Being roughly a head shorter didn’t improve my chances. There may have been a small grin on his face, but one look in his eyes told me he would do just about anything to get his mission done.

Whatever the cost. 

_ Why do I always get tangled with the dangerous stabby ones _ ?

Crosshair took a step forward. “Wouldn’t want to hurt you.” 

“You suck at lyin’,” I spat, taking the opportunity to break my gaze from Hunter’s and glare at Crosshair. An urge to shift back into the more powerful Alphian form shot through me. But I had  _ zero _ intentions of letting them see that form. I did not exactly plan on getting blasted with a stun bolt today. My best bet was to run like hell. “I ain’t changin’ my mind.”

“I highly recommend you do,” Hunter warned, stepping closer to me again. He could tell him being in my space set me off. Sly bastard.

“Thanks for your recommendation, I’ll keep it in mind,” I shot back. 

“Doin’ great, Shadow!” Trevor called from a catwalk on the other side of the library. 

I opened my mouth to snarl at him, only to halt as I saw the illuminated sign directly under his feet. 

_ Fireman’s Tunnel. _

I’d have to make it through what looked like a maze of bookshelves like from that demented game Baldi’s Basics, but if I could reach that, I could escape. 

My small size had just gone from a disadvantage to a major advantage. 

I just had to distract them long enough to get a headstart. 

“Your friend is an odd one,” Hunter grumbled, watching Trevor as he trotted down the catwalk and out of the room. 

“You ain’t stuck with him,” I grumbled. 

_ But he does have his uses _ . 

“Then why not agree to take us to the Vault? You’d be free of him for a few days,” Tech pointed out. 

“Yeah, and instead of one maniac I’d be stuck with four,” I retorted. 

“Aw, c’mon!” Wrecker laughed. “We’re not  _ that _ bad!” 

“I just got done dealin’ with a ship full of crazies, I need a rest.”

“Rest? We’re at  _ war _ ,” Crosshair growled. 

“Brilliant observation, Bright Eyes,” I grumbled, mapping my escape route before letting my eyes shift towards the library entrance. I squinted at nothing. “The hell?”

As the Bad Batch turned to look, I bolted the other way. 

“Hey!” Hunter yelled, jerking his helmet back on and racing after me. 

Wrecker laughed. “Oh, she’s clever!” 

Energy racing through me, I jumped and slid over a table, knocking over some books. Feet hitting the ground, I used my momentum and dove over a wayward chair. Jumping up from the shoulder roll, I launched myself and scrambled up the bookcase. 

A loud crash sounded behind me as someone, probably Wrecker, shoved the table out of the way. Static ripped through the air before the radio began to play. 

_ Wow. Great!  _ I thought, barely jerking my foot out of Hunter’s reach as I recognized the  _ Yakety Sax  _ song.  _ Chase music for a chase scene! Lovely! _

Jumping across the aisle to the top of the next bookcase, I cursed as the shelf tilted under my weight. I wasn’t  _ that _ heavy! 

“You really want to do this the hard way?!” Hunter yelled after me, appearing over the top of the first bookcase. 

I didn’t answer, focusing on keeping my balance as I jumped to another bookcase. Vertigo was  _ not _ my friend right now. Neither was gravity, I discovered as I slipped and plunged into the maze. 

I landed hard, but forced myself to my feet and raced down the aisle before Hunter reached me. Otherwise it’d be like shooting fish in a barrel and I wasn’t no damn trout!

Rounding the corner, I came face to face with Tech as he blocked my path. 

“Is it really that dismal of a prospect to work with us!?” 

“Not at all, Tech! But I can’t go down without a fight!” I yelled, rushing at him and slamming my shoulder into his chest. 

Tech crashed into the bookcase, staggering and giving me just enough time to run past as dodge around another corner. 

Wrecker turned the corner ahead as I raced down the aisle. Ok, him I could  _ not _ body slam. 

“You’re a fast one!” he laughed, ready to grab me. 

_ Duck and dodge! _ Twisting, ducking, and turning, I avoided his outstretched arms and kicked off into another shoulder roll to gain some ground.

Maybe they were unnecessary, but I felt they helped. That was enough. 

The only thing I  _ really _ needed to avoid was falling into a trap from Crosshair. Those refleto-patches or whatever would immediately take me out. 

But I didn’t see the sniper as I raced through, something I was both grateful and immensely worried about. 

Weaving in and out of the maze, cursing the layout, I shouted in triumph as I finally saw the exit. All I had to do was dodge a chair and I’d be in the crawl space. They’d unfortunately be able to fit it looked like, but if I could get in there first- 

A bright blue bolt exploded on the ground in front of me. I yelped and stumbled back against the bookcase, eyes wide. Jerking my head to the side, I stared at Hunter as he stood with his pistol drawn and pointed straight at me. 

Shit. 

“Stand down,” Hunter ordered. “I won’t give another warning shot. Neither will Crosshair.” He pointed behind me where Crosshair stood with his rifle aimed at me.

Ok,  _ that _ I could not dodge. He wasn’t the team marksman for no reason. But I was  _ so close _ ! One more diving shoulder roll and I’d be at the tunnel! Damn it!

I could telekinetically shove them down… but no. I’d reveal that and then I’d definitely be blasted. And Crosshair could shoot from any angle, even upside down. Damn twig, messing up my plans. I could maybe dodge Hunter as long as I could first take Crosshair down. Or at least throw off his aim. 

I shot Hunter a tired grin. “Warnin’ shot, huh?” My fingers tightened around a heavy book on the shelf. “Good thing I don’t need one.”

“Don’t try it!” 

I snatched the heavy book and threw it as hard as I could at Crosshair’s head. It sailed and the sniper ducked to avoid it, but it gave me the distraction I needed. 

Diving over the chair into another shoulder roll, I sprang forward out of the roll and into the tight space.

“Kark!” Hunter yelled, the shout bouncing around the tunnel. 

Turning a corner, I narrowly missed another stun blast, the blue bolt illuminating the passageway as it exploded against the wall.

A humorless grin crossed my face as yells followed me through the twisting labyrinth.

They’d be on my tail and soon. They never failed a mission. Never.

Mary Sue or not, this was gonna be a tough fight. One I probably wouldn’t win. 

But I had to  _ try.  _

_ So… this is where the fun begins _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sorry about the book, Cross.


	4. Ch. 4 Sadistic Sergeants

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chase continues!  
> Yes I am a sergeant shaggy simp. Hardcore.

_Thankfully_ the tunnel had a spongy floor, made of what I assumed to be that shredded tire material, so my knees weren’t _totally_ on fire. And I could move a lot faster than I would on a hard surface. The Alphian ability to see in low light greatly helped in this dark corridor, especially as the light from the entrance faded away. 

I slowed, listening for pursuit. 

Wrecker yelling, but no scuffling from behind me. 

Stopping, I caught my breath. 

Ok, what now? The Tower was my current goal, but I had to figure out how to get there. 

Dim red lights flickered to life along the base of the walls, illuminating the passage. Ahead at the corner, a sign read _Tower_ with a red arrow beneath. 

_Well, that solves that_. 

Inhaling deeply, filling my lungs with air, I quickly crawled that way. The tunnels twisted and turned, even dropping to a lower level before sloping up again. Complex crawl space with multiple levels and a spongy floor? I was in my element here. 

_Find that slide. Get to the Tower. Race to the top level. Find a way out. Simple!_

It would not be simple. At all. A fact I quickly found out when I turned a corner and saw the shape of Hunter looming in the dark, the pale skull paint standing out against his black armor like a beacon in the night. 

“Hello there,” I gulped. “So uh…” I constantly shifted my weight between my hands and knees, unsure if I should turn and flee. “About that extra warnin’ shot?”

“So _now_ you need it,” he said, a low chuckle accompanying his words and I got a feeling he was grinning under that helmet.

“This is a game to y’all, ain’t it?” I huffed, trying to listen behind me for another Batcher closing in behind.

A passage branched off in front of me, but I’d have to risk getting closer to Hunter. Could I make it in time?

“Maybe,” Hunter replied, still sounding like he was amused by my situation. Asshole.

I growled, “Y’all a bunch a’ sadists, you know that?” 

“You seem to be enjoying this little game as well,” Hunter pointed out. “Which is good. No fun if a target just gives in.”

 _I should have expected him to enjoy the thrill of the hunt._ “Then the hell was that little stare down we had, huh?” 

“A test.”

“Ah ha!” I exclaimed in mock revelation. “A test. One I fear I didn’t study for.”

“On the contrary,” Hunter said. “You didn’t score half bad. Got guts, I’ll give you that.”

“Why, thank you,” I snorted, bowing. “Do tell, what’s my final grade?”

“That’s just one section. The exam is not over quite yet.” He backed away from the branching passage. “Show of good faith. I’ll let you go this time.”

I shook my hair from my eyes. “You really so confident you think you can catch me again, Sarge?”

“Are you so confident you think you can beat a commando squad with a zero percent fail rate?” Hunter asked. 

“Well gee when you put it like that,” I grumbled. 

Voices echoed down the corridor behind me, sending a sudden spike of energy down my spine. 

“Better get going, Shadow,” Hunter chuckled. “I’ll give you a thirty second headstart.” 

I rolled my eyes at him. “You’re too generous, Sergeant Hunter.” Slowly inching forward, I watched Hunter carefully for any movement on his part. 

As expected, he moved forward. 

“Hey! What about that head start? Already goin’ back on your words?” I growled uneasily. 

“Hardly.” He gestured for me to go first. “I need to head this way regardless. And you’ll want me behind you if Crosshair catches up.” 

“Let me guess, he’s pissy I chucked a book at his head,” I muttered, cautiously moving into the passage. Wider than the others, I realized Hunter and I could both crawl side by side. 

“I think you’d be upset if someone threw a book at your head, Shadow,” Hunter remarked, coming alongside me. 

“Suppose I would,” I agreed, left shoulder brushing the wall to keep a space between us. “But I won’t hesitate to kick you if you try to grab me.”

“The fact I haven’t tackled you yet should be proof enough I’m not going back on my word.”

“No, you’re just followin’ be to make sure I know full well you won the game and it’s only because you’re feelin’ playful and are enjoyin’ the thrill of the chase that you haven’t taken me down,” I retorted. 

“Trevor said you were a clever one.”

“Well, I’d hate to disappoint,” I replied dryly. 

“Oh you definitely haven’t done that.”

“You always flirt with your targets, Sarge?”

“Only if they’re attractive.”

I gave him an unamused look. “Charmin’.” Turning a corner, the slide entrance up ahead, I stopped and looked at Hunter. “I still have that thirty second headstart?” 

A characteristic chuckle filtered through his helmet’s speakers. “You do.” He nodded towards the slide. “I’d say may the best team win, but you’re on your own.”

I smirked. “Good thing I’m a one woman army.” I winked and raced down the corridor. 

Sliding down like a penguin, I scrambled to my feet as the slide spit me out. Sprinting to the bottom of the Tower, I ducked into the large playground. “Great, now I’m playin’ tag with super commandos. Why have both my adventures started in a chase scene courtesy of Trevor being an idiot?”

But Hunter… man he was interesting.

 _You know… this would be an excellent research opportunity when you end up helping them_. 

_Could we not label_ **_everything_ ** _a research opportunity?_

A stun shot exploded a few meters from my face, luckily blocked by the outer structure of the Tower. That had to be Wrecker. Crosshair didn’t miss. “Hey!” I snapped, glaring in the direction of the shot. 

_You couldn’t have notified your team of our deal, Sarge?_

“Sorry! Didn’t mean to aim for your face!” Wrecker yelled, rushing down the steps. 

“Apology not accepted!” I replied, hurrying into the higher levels. 

“Got into this time, didn’t you?” a voice laughed, and lounging on a pile of foam was the ginger from my Anthill information dump.

“Scooter,” I hissed. “A little help?”

He shook his head, giving me a mischievous grin. “Nah, I know better than to mess with super commandos.”

“They are _literally_ shootin’ at me!” I protested as another stun blast hit the support beam nearby. “Wrecker! Cease fire, man! You can’t drag me out!” 

“That’s why I’m sendin’ in Tech!” he laughed, catching Tech’s pack as a blur of red and white raced past to the base of the Tower. 

_Oh for the love of..._

Scooter waved me off. “Trev said you’d be fine!”

“Trevor ain’t gonna be fine when I get a hold of him!” I snarled, racing higher into the Tower.

“Take the bridge, Shads!”

“Novel idea!” I hissed as I climbed. 

Tech was gaining and was gaining _fast_. Damn him and his agile little self. 

“I’d rather not shoot you!” he warned, chasing me across a long stretch of platform. 

Diving through those weird foam rollers, I shouted back, “Then don’t!”

Ok, how did I always lose people during tag in these things? Pausing for a brief moment as Tech struggled through the rollers, I scanned the different levels. There! Two slides ended right beside each other but one led to a higher level. I’d slide down the low one then climb up the other to a higher level. 

_Well,_ I thought as I hurried over. _At least I can say this self insert story has a rather unique beginning_. 

Penguin sliding down once again, I quickly scurried up the other slide then across to the opposite side of the Tower as Tech came down the first slide. Ha! Now I had my lead back.

Upon reaching the upper level after scrambling up a large vertical net, I had to pause as my vertigo kicked in. “Shit shit shit…” Taking a deep breath, trying to shake it off, I headed towards the bridge that would lead to the rooms. 

“Wrecker! Take out the bridge!” 

_You son of a bitch!_

A loud round of shots echoed around the building and the bridge collapsed to the floor, four stories below. 

Fuck my life. No, seriously. Fuck it all. I looked down to see three members circling the bottom of the Tower as Tech hurried through the rest of the levels below me..

Panic began to claw its way up my throat and I looked at the gap a second time. I was four stories up. If I fell, I was sure to break something. But falling into their hands would be infinitely worse...

 _How ironic… It’s either fall to the floor or fall into their hands. As long as I don’t fall_ **_for_ ** _them it’ll be fine._

_Ain’t it too late for that?_

_Go_ **_away_ ** _!_

“Shadow!”

I looked down under my feet at Tech.

“Just stop running!”

“Negatory, my goggled friend!” I called. “I have the high ground!”

“Come down from there!” Wrecker yelled. 

“How ‘bout y’all come _up_?”

_Wait… Wrecker throws people!_

Sure enough, Wrecker’s laugh echoed around the building. “Careful what you wish for!”

I whipped around to see Hunter land on the open platform, ducking into a roll to absorb the impact. Wrecker must have yeeted him. Backing away towards the edge, I laughed sarcastically. “Guess the headstart is up, huh?”

Hunter shrugged “Told you we’d catch you again.”

I glanced back. Well, this was one way to see if my invincibility carried into the fandom. 

_If you survived a building falling on you, you’ll survive a four story fall. Hopefully_. 

Either that or I’d be out of this fandom _really_ quick. 

“Don’t be so sure.” Jerking around I dashed to the edge and pushed off with all my might. I felt a rush and realized I must have augmented the jump with telekinesis. At least that power I could use subtly. The elemental power would light up markings all over my body. 

Crashing into the platform, I looked back only to see Hunter fire a grappling hook at the wall. 

_Where did he get_ **_that_ ** _?!_

“Meet me outside!” Hunter yelled to the others as he gave chase after me. “I’ll get her!”

I had to reach the Anthill before I found myself out in the open against all four of them. My only hope was to use my size and maneuverability in a confined space. _Double time! Go go go_!

I raced towards a slide at the far end that went back into the wall and had a large sign above the entrance that said “Exit to Street”. How convenient.

Swinging myself in, I cursed as I realized Hunter would be able to fit here just like the other slides. Suddenly the slide sloped down sharply and I yelped as I rapidly gained momentum. Light brightened the slide, telling me I was growing close to the end. I did _not_ expect, however, to go sailing a few yards as the slide spit me out. Crashing into a foam pit in a small building of sorts, I forced myself forward towards the edge of the pit as I cursed the spongy blocks.

This whole damn place was a theme park.

I had to get out of this Pit of Peril. Hunter was _right_ behind me in the slide, and getting crushed by an airborne super commando in a damn foam pit of all things was not on today’s agenda. Plus if he got a hold of me, I was done. 

I reached the edge of the pit as Hunter crashed into the foam, his landing upsetting the trampoline beneath and throwing me off balance, but I finally managed to wiggle free. 

“What kind of place is this?”

I stopped briefly in my escape and looked back at the sergeant. “You are askin’ the _wrong_ person!”

He shook his head at me as he fought to get off his back. “You live here!”

“Don’t mean I understand why it is the way it is!” I protested, panting slightly. Damn, did I hate running. I should probably have been racing out of this place, but I couldn’t help but watch the highly skilled and graceful Bad Batch sergeant lose his fight with multicolored foam blocks. What I wouldn’t give for a blackmail video of this.

“Look, man. I’d help but you’re kinda after me so I gotta blast!” I yelled, leaving him behind to deal with the Pit of Peril by himself. “Good luck!”

  
  
  



	5. Ch. 5 Cardio is the Worst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasn't really taught too much grappling in karate, but I tried my best with what I did know for this and the next chapter.  
> Twiggs definitely goes for pressure points.

Dashing out of the building, a large grassy hill stretched beneath me towards a row of short hedges. Beyond that, a dirt path surrounded the large shape of the Anthill and the surrounding obstacles.

_ Sanctuary! _

Running down the hill, a sharp pain in my side made me stumble.  _ Cramp! Cramp! I am not a happy camper!  _ My foot caught a rock and the world turned into a spinning blur as I tumbled head over heels down the grassy slope. 

_ Ow ow ow ow ow ow! _

Reaching the bottom, I laid on my back panting. Oh that was unpleasant. 

_ Hey! We need to get moving! _

_ Five more minutes… _

“Giving up so soon, Shadow?” Hunter called, halfway down the hill.

Groaning as I sat up, covered head to toe in grass and green stains, I flipped him off before shakily pushing myself to my feet. Stumbling over to a rock and leaning against it, I glared at Hunter. “Don’t you got anything better to do than torment me?”

“Considering you’re our current target, not quite,” Hunter said, slowing to a jog. 

“Ass,” I muttered, glaring at him before glancing back towards the resident building. 

The other three had started down the hill, Wrecker laughing like a maniac. Tech had both of his pistols drawn while Crosshair held his rifle pointed down towards the ground as he ran. 

_ Great... _

“Surrendering already?” Hunter taunted as he drew closer. “Thought you were more stubborn than that.”

“You are correct, sir!” I took off running again, diving over bushes in my path and landing in another shoulder roll. Now not only was I covered in grass and sweat, I was covered in dirt. Great. Popping back up, I staggered briefly before continuing my race to the Anthill. So close. Weaving back and forth, I couldn’t give them an easy target or Crosshair would take me out.

Dashing into the fenced area, I dodged and weaved around the tall blades of artificial grass. I could feel Hunter  _ right _ behind me, and once or twice I felt his gloved fingers brush my back as he grabbed for me.

“This… ain’t… fair!” I complained, vaulting over a branch. “Y’all got... special trainin’!”

I shot into one of the tunnels of the Anthill and proceeded to take various twists and turns, dead-set on losing him. 

I had to. 

I burst out into the open central chamber. Recalling the massive information dump I received, I raced towards a tall pole running floor to ceiling and smashed a button that I hoped would send an alert or something through the Anthill to get people out if there were any in here. The Bad Batch was known for collateral damage. No alarm blared, but the lights inside did go from gold to red, so hopefully that meant “clear the hell out”. 

Diving back into one of the tunnels as Hunter nearly succeeded in tackling me to the ground, I focused on keeping out his hands. He kept pace with me however, forcing me to squeeze through smaller and smaller tunnels.

Finally, I found one too small for him. Unfortunately, it spit me out into a dead-end chamber. A hole opened to the outside, but the outside was climbable. Didn’t want to alert the other members, who were no doubt circling by now. There was only one other tunnel, but it’d spit me out in Hunter’s current tunnel.

_ Cornered again?! _

Hunter called from the other side, “It’s impressive you’ve evaded my team for this long, I’ll admit, but you’re really cornered now.”

“Impressive you’ve kept pace with me through this maze,” I laughed breathlessly. “But hey, compliment from Sergeant Hunter of the Bad Batch himself? I’d be flattered in different circumstances.”

He snorted in amusement. “You’re quite the talker when you feel safe.”

“I am safe, buster,” I laugh, only to start coughing. “Unless my lungs take me out right here and now!”

“The others will be here soon. You think you can take on all four of us at once?”

“Wrecker… ain’t fittin’!” I wheezed. 

“Maybe not, but you can’t outmaneuver three of us.”

“Home turf. I know these tunnels. I’m also smaller than you, Tech, or the homicidal twig! I can fit places you can’t!” Movement behind me shattered that thought, and I looked to see Crosshair attempting to worm his way through the window. “Oh shit.” 

He didn’t say anything, and I didn’t really expect him to. He’d holstered his rifle, but that didn’t make him any less dangerous at close range. I hurried to the second tunnel and shimmied through. It did indeed spit me out in Hunter’s tunnel, but I had a split moment of surprise to dart into another.

Hunter whirled around, and the chase was back on. But now, I had two men to avoid. Upon darting across a larger chamber, I realized that no. I had three. Tech, now wearing his pack, had joined the chase.

“Why is it  _ Pick on Shadow Day _ ?” I whined, narrowing dodging Tech and clawing my way up to another ledge and slipping through fake grass stalks. “I’m a decent person!”

“You’re the one who ran!” Tech called from just below me. He jumped up and hauled himself onto the ledge where I was.

I called back, sliding down another hole to avoid him, “This demented game of tag ain’t my idea of fun!” Launching out of that tunnel, I ran around the rim of the central chamber. A blaster shot rang past my head, narrowly missing me. “Hey! Watch it!”

“All’s fair in war!” Wrecker laughed from a hole in the ceiling, firing another stun round as I slipped into a tunnel. At least the other three couldn’t draw their guns because they needed their hands free to maneuver around the Anthill.

Jumping out of the tunnel, I found myself a bit wobbly. Not good. I was beginning to tire. With three men on my tail, I couldn’t catch a break. I glanced wildly around. I needed to find somewhere to regain my breath, and fast.

Hunter appeared out of nowhere, lunging at me. His momentum sent us off the rim and tumbling down to a lower level. In an immense stroke of luck, it was Hunter who landed on the bottom and I kept the air in my lungs. Writhing free from his weakened grip as he coughed, I scrambled into a small tunnel before he could regain his breath.

This was getting  _ bad _ . Crosshair and Tech had disappeared in the tunnels, and I did not like running around here not knowing where they were. Especially Crosshair. The last time I lost sight of him I got ambushed. 

Running deeper into the Anthill, I headed for the lowest level. If the information dump was correct, there were tangles of fake roots weaving in and out of the tunnels. I’d have to slip and weave through them, but so would the men. While they were tangled I could-

Crosshair slammed into me from the side, sending me crashing into the spongy wall. At least it had been designed for rough play in mind, not that this was a playful situation at the least. Crosshair may have been a literal twig, but I could still feel the power in him as he tried to pin me down. 

I winced in pain as his fingers dug into my arms, no doubt leaving behind bruises. A snarl of pain ripped from my throat as he pressed down hard at my elbow junction. Of course he’d rely on pressure points!

“Give in!” he spat, fingers grasping for that soft spot between my neck and shoulder. 

I snapped my teeth at his hands, shoving at him. “Not a chance!” 

Keeping my back curved so he couldn’t force my shoulders to the floor, I slammed my palms into his chest. As he reeled back, I swung my elbow around and caught him in the helmet, sending him tumbling off me. Recalling his headlocking tendencies, I faced away from him and kicked backwards as hard as I could with both feet.

A crack greeted me as did a snarl of pain, but I didn’t stick around to see what I’d hit. 

No noise followed me as I wove full speed through the labyrinth. Yet I did not stop until I safely made it past the tangled mess of artificial roots.

Slouching against the wall, I sucked in lungful after lungful of hot, burning air. My heart pounding hard against my chest, the pain in my knees pulsing at the same rate. Agony raced up and down my sore legs, and the stabbing pain in my side returned to plague me. Sweat trickled down my back and face, carving paths in the fine layer of dirt and grass. My teeth ached as if I had taken a bite out of ice cream, something I had never understood. 

The cool mountain breeze flowed inward from the hole by my head, filling the stuffy cavern space. Talk about a breath of fresh air. 

I debated about trying to slip out of there, but my shoulders would never fit. Getting stuck would  _ not _ be welcome.

Another root filled tunnel led into the level I was on, but another tunnel close by would lead me down into the sublevel where the only light was the deep crimson bulbs. Maybe I could be able to escape through there.

But could I  _ actually  _ escape these guys? Hunter was right, it was impressive I stayed out of their hands this long. This running had taken a massive toll, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep this up for too much longer. 

It wasn’t a matter of if they’d catch me, but  _ when _ . Which was looking closer and closer every second.

I groaned, head thumping against the wall. “I bloody  _ hate  _ cardio…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not a runner lol


	6. Ch. 6 Aight, Imma Head Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do NOT care for needles. In the least. Not me. Bye. 
> 
> Content Warning: Needles

Noise came from the left tunnel and I tensed. Who was it? If it was Crosshair, boy was I in for it. I’d definitely be getting zapped this time. 

How had I even avoided getting caught so far? Luck alone had to be the reason. I was up against commandos after all. Black belt or not, I couldn’t keep this up. Crosshair had nearly taken me down. For a skinny bastard, he had strength in those arms. As for Hunter… yeah if I got into a grappling match with him it was over and done. 

_ You’re an Alphian. Just shift, use an element, and escape! _

_ Problem with that _ .

If I shifted, their tactics would get far rougher. As of right now, they only saw me as a minor threat who had, somehow, kept out of their hands. But if I suddenly lit up like a Christmas tree they’d definitely switch tactics. 

As for shifting… if I was a Kelusine I wouldn’t be able to even move in my current hideaway. Those cats were the size of small trucks and given the size of my tail I was most likely a Mountaineer. Those furballs were the second largest subspecies, and my tail alone wouldn’t fit in here. Could shift into a Tacrumel but… I’d sacrifice all my power for agility. 

My current form was the best chance in these tunnels. 

“Alright,” I huffed to myself. “Hold out a bit longer. They’ll catch you eventually, but no need to make it easy for them.”

“You certainly aren’t.” Dim red light reflected off goggles and white armor, and the faint glow of a visor display flashed in the dark. Tech.

Eyeing him cautiously, I positioned myself by the hole that led to the outside and continued to catch my breath. Why not just hit me with a stun blast? He  _ was _ the most sympathetic out of the group, granted, but I was a stranger to them. Maybe he felt I was cornered enough to not be a threat. 

_ Ironic given that I’m far more dangerous when cornered… _

“Tech, aye?”

He nodded, panting a little himself. “Yes. You certainly know how to maneuver through difficult terrain,” he commented. He looked around, poking and prodding at the walls and fake roots partially blocking his path. “This looks quite reminiscent of an anthill, yet made in such a manner to serve as a training ground.”

I snorted. “Yeah, Capture the Flag and Freeze Tag are just wild up in here.”

“That cannot be the only use. The amount of time and engineering it must have taken to build a structure this size-”

“Harmless games. That’s it. We like to have fun. Playgrounds do provide mental and physical stimulation, true. But if you think we’re secret agents, you’re wrong,” I said, shaking my head.

“It would make sense for you to have some training in that field. No target your age and size has evaded us for this long of time with no weapons unless they were an agent of some organization,” Tech countered.

“Don’t tell me you  _ time  _ how long people stay out of your hands,” I groaned. It would be in character, though.

His eyes narrowed. “It is useful for future missions,” he defended himself. “Enables me to analyze our pitfalls so we may perform better on our next mission.”

I rolled my eyes. “Nerd.”

“Why do you continuously run and fight? We only want to talk.”

“Bullshit, your beanstalk buddy body-slammed me into a wall!” I spat. “I got bruises on my arms.”

Tech’s brows furrowed as he no doubt frowned. “Beanstalk...?” he echoed before realization kicked in. “Crosshair?”

I fought the urge to roll my eyes again. “No, Wrecker. Yes, Crosshair! Who else looks like a walking twig with homicidal tendencies?”

“You aren’t so built yourself,  _ sweetheart _ .”

I froze at the growl from the other tunnel entrance blocked by roots, Crosshair emerging from the shadows. Now two commandos blocked my retreat. His nickname, however, made me bristle.  _ Want to play that game? _ “Oh great, it’s Mister Sunshine!”

“ _ What _ did you call me?” Crosshair hissed, the sound grating through his helmet speakers as he started forward towards the roots again.

“Sunshine, because you’re just a ray of it,” I growled, readying myself to run down into the hole leading into the dark area below.

“Gotcha!” A massive hand from the hole by my head clamped onto my shoulder, locking me in place. “Surprise, Small Fry!”

I struggled as I tried to wrap my hand around Wrecker’s wrist. If I could just reach that pressure point, I could break free. It took a moment, thanks to his damn knuckle guard and the size of his wrist, but I managed to slip my hand through the gap. Squeezing tightly on the muscles along the underside of his wrist, I tried pulling myself free at the same time.

Apparently super strength didn’t cover pressure points, and his grip loosened just enough for me to break out of his hold.

“Woah, what?” he exclaimed, trying to grab for me again. “How’d you do that?!”

“For me to know and you not to find out!” I yelled, dashing for the dark tunnel. I slammed on the breaks, however, as Hunter’s helmet popped up from the hole as he dragged himself out.

I gulped. Tech’s antennas were keeping him from reaching me through the roots while Crosshair’s rifle kept catching on the synthetic wood. Hunter, however, had no such obstacle. He had a clear path straight to me. “Uh, hey Hunter! Long time no see!”

“Told you we’d get you again.”

“Guess no thirty second headstart this time, huh?” I grumbled, readying myself for a fight.

He shook his head. “I respect your tenacity, so I’ll give you one more chance to stand down.”

Shoulders tensing as I prepared to meet an imminent charge, I narrowed my eyes. My heart began to pound harder against my chest as I felt strength flow back into my sore muscles. It’d been so long since I’d had a sparring match, I’d forgotten what it felt like to get that adrenaline rush. 

“Back off, Hunter. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Trust me, you won’t.”

“Don’t be so sure of that. You might beat me, but you’ll wish you’d left me alone when it’s over.” I shifted backwards until my feet brushed the chamber wall.

“You can’t beat him, Small Fry!” Wrecker yelled, peering in through the hole. “You can’t weigh more than sixty kilos!”

“Size ain’t everything.” I shifted my weight as Hunter drew closer, muscles coiling. The blood roared in my ears as I focused in on Hunter, the background fading away. “Sergeant, I’m warnin’ you. A cornered martial artist is never someone you want to mess with.”

“And I’m warning  _ you _ ,” he said, tensing as well. “Surrender.”

A small smirk tugged my lips. “Ain’t my style. Besides, what happened to our little game?” I knew I wouldn’t get out of this unscathed, but I’d gone through too much running to just give up here.

“Have it your way. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He charged me.

I reared back before driving my weight forward, aiming at his shoulder pads to drive him back. It worked partially, but his hands wrapped tightly around my lower arms and pulled me down. As he slammed me to the floor, I aimed my elbow at a chink in his armor near the neck. It only grazed off his shoulder pad, leaving me with a jagged cut down the outside of my arm. Hissing in frustration, I snapped my teeth at his hands as I kicked at him. Panic shot through me as he nearly got an arm over my head and neck, but a lucky kick caught him in the midsection and forced him back.

“You’ve got this, Sarge!” Wrecker cheered, watching the fight through the hole.

“Do not encourage him!” I yelled at the giant, rolling quickly to the side to avoid another grab. I kicked towards his waist, hoping to unbalance him.

He growled as his center of balance was briefly thrown, but he quickly righted himself again and grabbed for my ankle. He let go, however, to avoid my other foot aimed at his fingers and I jumped out of the way to avoid one of his kicks as he swung his leg around. Catching me in the thigh, I transferred my weight to my shoulders and spun with the force of the kick to lessen the impact. Twisting my body around, faced away from him and readied myself for a kick backwards into Hunter’s chest. The armor would absorb most of the impact, but he’d be further from me for a bit longer. 

“Don’t get close to her!” Tech warned, still struggling to get through the roots. “She’s about to kick!”

_ Bitch! _

Hunter jerked backwards, narrowly avoiding my shoes aimed at his chest. In the time it took me to bring my legs back in to regroup for another strike, he lunged forward again and grabbed me around the middle. “I’ll admit, you’re stronger than you look!”

“Surprise!” Kicking back blindly, I tried to hit something that would make him loosen his grip. But all I hit was plastoid. “Damn your armor!” Reeling backwards, I shoved him into the wall, yelling as I did so to avoid knocking the wind out of myself.

It was met with little success as Hunter pushed himself off the wall and launched us both across the cavern. We rolled across the floor, grappling, before he wrestled me into a headlock, one arm looped around my ribs and another around my neck. Jerking me closer and crossing his leg over my waist, trapping me, he barked, “It’s over! Give in!”

I struggled against the heavy weight pressing me down, panic rising as he applied pressure. “Let go!” Writhing against the armored leg over my middle, I tried to free myself of the arm pinning me back against his chest. I debated slamming my head back into his face, but with his helmet it’d just hurt me more than him.

_ Just use your claws! Use your blade! _

_ No! They’ll know I’m not human! _

_ They’ll find out either way! Break out! _

“Kriff’s sake, stop fighting!” Hunter ordered, tightening his grip. “You can’t get out of this! Enough is enough!”

“No!” I yelled, but I could not escape this man’s hold. The damn octopus! Growing desperate, I locked eyes with Tech. The smaller clone had nearly made it through the roots blocking his path. “C’mon! Am I really  _ that _ important to this mission?”

“Yes,” Tech said as he squeezed through the last roots.

My heart stopped when he pulled something long and thin out of his tool belt. Any playfulness I may have felt vanished instantly at the syringe in his hand. “Not… not that!” I screamed, eyes wild as I struggled hard against Hunter’s iron grip. “Not  _ that _ !”

I was no scaredy cat, but I couldn’t prevent complete and utter primal fear from overwhelming me when I saw a needle. Annoying as hell, because they didn’t really hurt that bad. I’d been in worse pain from takedowns, blocks, and joint locks in karate. I’d been bucked off a horse, for Pete’s sake. Multiple times! People had been taken to the hospital from that. People had  _ died _ from that. Not to mention in the first fandom fiasco, I’d been stabbed twice, shot once, and been hit by a damn  _ truck _ before a  _ building _ collapsed on me.

Needles shouldn’t have had this effect on me! Didn’t know why but seeing one... every fiber of my being screamed at me to run.

“Unless you want to deal with a full-scale panic attack and a whole bunch of screamin’, you’ll put it away!” I warned, voice rising in pitch. “I mean it!”

“It won’t hurt long,” Tech said with a shake of his head, still coming forward. “Hunter, you need to hold one of her arms still so I do not stick this somewhere dangerous.”

“You’re making it worse, Tech!” Hunter snapped, struggling to keep a hold of me. “Put that away!”

“Just hold her still for a minute!”

“I’d be  _ happy _ to help,” Crosshair sneered, almost through the roots him.

“I said get back!” I screamed, feeling something akin to electricity race down my spine. Eyes wild, I poured all of my strength into escaping Hunter’s grip. His armor left various bruises and scrapes all over my body, especially areas of exposed skin, but I could  _ not _ let that needle reach me. Harsh scraping filled my ears and I realized that despite my urge to keep my inhuman nature hidden, my nails had grown into sharp claws and were leaving pale marks all over Hunter’s armor.

“Hey, calm down,” Tech said, reaching for one of my arms. “It only takes a small prick and-”

Something snapped in my mind. “Get  _ back _ !” As panic surged through me, I extended my hand towards Tech and  _ shoved _ .

Invisible force burst from my hand and he tumbled backwards, slamming into the wall and dropping the syringe.

“What?!” Hunter yelled, grip loosening ever so slightly. But it was just enough.

Twisting to the side, I slammed a hand back into the gap between his thigh and torso armor. It was enough to make him yelp and jerk his legs away as his entire body went tense. Wrenching myself from his arms, I leapt forward and planted my hands and left knee before kicking back and hooking my right leg around. My heel connected with armor and Hunter yelled in pain again as I dashed back to the roots.

Crosshair grabbed my ankle, sending another sharp bolt of panic up my spine as he dragged me backwards. Kicking back towards my ankle with my free foot, I caught his fingers and he let go with a snarl of pain.

Tech, having recovered from hitting the wall, lunged forward and threw an arm around my back. Hand tightening over my stomach as he got a grip on my shirt, he yelled something but I couldn’t make it out over the haze of panic. Reaching under my arm with his other arm, his arm started to snake around my neck and to my far shoulder.

Desperation lending me strength, I forced my weight upwards and towards Tech. Unprepared, for he no doubt expected me to pull away, he fell backwards. Flipping him onto his back, I crashed down on top of him. He coughed, but kept a grip on my shirt and snagged a hold of my shirt by my shoulder. Trying to drag me down to the floor with him, he yelled, “Stop… fighting!”

I reached under to my belly where he still kept a hold of my shirt. Making a sound halfway between a snarl and a screech, I grabbed a finger and yanked it back hard. Tech yelped in pain, then coughed as I flipped and drove a knee into his side to slow him down.

Freed from his grasp, I made yet another break for the root system. A stun blast slammed into the root near my head, but I knew I couldn’t pause and risk getting caught to see which Bad Batcher had fired it. Veering into the first side tunnel, I made for higher ground as quickly as I could. The image of a very narrow tunnel that led to a small chamber crossed my mind, and I headed towards it.

But, no matter how hard I pushed, I couldn’t make myself run even as I burst into the central chamber. When I tried to leap at the rim of an upper level, my arms shook hard as I tried to haul myself up. No good. The burst of energy that allowed me to break free of the men beforehand had faded, leaving behind trembling and sore muscles. My back ached where I had slammed into Tech’s chest armor, bruises throbbing in rhythm with my heart and head. Blood trickled from various scrapes and cuts across my skin, mingling with sweat, dirt, and grass remaining from my hill roll to create a stinging sensation all over my body. Dropping back to the ground, I coughed hard.

Couldn’t give up now. Couldn’t! They had a needle!

A bolt of panic fueled energy jolted through me and I managed to climb up a level. Once up, I ducked into another tunnel. I stumbled into a wall but forced myself to keep staggering forward, up the enclosed space and higher into the Anthill. Emerging into the large central cavern once more, I looked down to see Tech exiting the root tunnels. A deep frown dug into the corners of my mouth as he looked up at me. Snarling under my breath, I kicked myself to start running again.

My only response was the screaming of weakened muscles.

“You cannot keep this up for much longer!” Tech shouted, running for me. “Just surrender!”

“It’s a no from me!” I hissed breathlessly. The hole was only a few feet above my head. All I had to do was reach it.

I couldn’t risk jumping. I had to keep my feet on the ground or the moment I touched back down I’d collapse right then and there. My pace somewhere between a walk and a jog, I made my way along the rim and climbed into another large tunnel about my waist level. Slipping inside, I fell to my hands and knees, gasping for air. Throat on fire, I coughed and felt almost certain I was about to throw up.

No, I had to keep going!

Every movement had become agonizing, my muscles feeling as if they were ripping themselves apart. But I couldn’t stop now. Tech had that damn syringe with him!

I knew it was a bad sign when even  _ that _ didn’t make my muscles react. They twitched, but I couldn’t get back to my feet. Guess it was four-wheel drive to that hidey hole.

Determined to at least make it that far, I drug myself forward. My arms trembled and I found myself digging my nails into the ground. As if that would help.

Footsteps were drawing closer.

Tech wasn’t far away now.

I could hear him yelling into his comm at Hunter.

He’d almost reached me.

I wasn’t going to make it to that hole.

Snarling, I poured my remaining strength into my limbs and staggered forwards.

Fighting up the tunnel, I noticed a branching tunnel leading off to the side. I had no idea where it led, but it at least looked small enough that Tech wouldn’t be able to get to me. I hauled myself inside, barely managed to turn around, then collapsed. Closing my eyes, I let my head thumb against the floor. Chest heaving, if I’d just sit up I could better catch my breath but I couldn’t make myself move.

_ That’s it… I’ve failed. Looks like the Bad Batch keeps their streak. _

Hearing movement directly outside the tunnel where I lay sprawled, I could only open my eyes to look at Tech. Staring down the barrel of his pistol, I frowned.

_ Well… that’s not ideal. _


	7. Ch. 7 Everything is Not What It Seems

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's check in with Shaggy, shall we?

_ A one woman army _ . 

That’s what Shadow called herself. 

Sergeant Hunter now understood why.

He groaned as he sat up, placing a hand on the side of his helmet. His armor had thankfully absorbed a majority of the blow from her kick, but his head still ached as did a majority of the rest of him. Gingerly rubbing the sore spot between his thigh and pelvic armor, he shuddered. He’d expected her to be able to fight, she had the build and agility of a martial artist after all, but he had not expected that level of skill. Not to mention she knew  _ exactly _ where to strike to make him loosen his grip.

When that strange man Trevor first contacted them, saying he had a lead for them and their mission, Hunter had not questioned where he got the information. Sometimes in their line of work, it was better to not ask. Especially when you had been searching for an answer for close to a week with zero leads. Take what you can get.

The call had come out of nowhere, but at that point they were willing to investigate any lead. Even one in the far Outer Rim. It was better than nothing. 

Hunter hadn’t liked the prospect of working with a guide, knowing full well how most nat-born guides reacted to his team. But when talking about Shadow, Trevor said not to underestimate her regardless of her size or initial reaction. That alone told Hunter that this guide was more than she seemed.

He’d said  _ nothing _ about her being Force Sensitive. 

“Tech!” Hunter yelled to the engineer. “Go get her! Stun her if you have to! But do  _ not _ pull the needle on her again!”

She’d been difficult but not outright hostile before that syringe came into play. Hunter dared to admit this mission had started quite a bit better than he expected. He liked challenges. 

He did  _ not _ , however, like surprises. Judging by her Force push  _ and _ the pale scratches marring his armor  _ plus _ the way her eyes gleamed in low light…

She was  _ full _ of surprises. 

Shoving the syringe back into a holster on his belt, Tech nodded to him then rushed into the roots after Shadow.

Wrecker’s booming laugh came from outside the walls. “I told ya she could fight,” he teased Crosshair.

The sniper all but hissed at him. “She’s a kriffing Force sensitive.” He turned to Hunter as the sergeant slowly pushed himself into a crouch. “What did she mean when she said not  _ another _ head start?”

Grateful his face was hidden, Hunter gruffly responded, “I caught up to her in the tunnels but let her have a thirty second headstart.”

The sniper stiffened. “You jeopardized the mission for a pretty face?” 

_ She’s clearly more than just that.  _ Shadow was  _ interesting _ and Hunter could definitely appreciate her cleverness even if the groin strike and head kick pissed him off. “I wanted to see how she’d fare if trouble happened on the trail,” he defended himself. 

Not a complete lie. If droids showed up, he didn’t want to have to risk their own skin protecting a helpless guide who expected them to do all the fighting. His team had little patience for cowards. 

“Hope you’re pleased with your findin’s,” Crosshair spat.

“I am.” He rubbed his thigh again. “But could have done without the strike below the belt.”

“Four Eyes is rubbin’ off on you, damn it,” the sniper growled. 

“What I want to know,” Hunter retorted, “Is why she didn’t just use the Force before. She had plenty of chances, but she never did.”

The time she first bolted. The time she was stuck between him and Crosshair. The time in the tunnels. The top of the Tower. After she’d fallen down the hill. The initial Anthill chase. During their grappling match. 

_ She used it last resort. She must have deliberately wanted us to underestimate her.  _

Clever. Very clever. 

“Seemed to be a game to her until Tech tried to jab her with the needle,” Wrecker pointed out. “She’s feisty! I like her!”

“She’s  _ dead _ when I see her again.” Crosshair shook his hand where Shadow kicked him.

“Once we get her on our side, you’ll need to get along,” Hunter reminded him.

“Like hells I will.”

“Cross, we  _ need  _ her to reach the Vault. We’ll never find it otherwise.” Hunter crawled to the roots where Tech had disappeared after the kid. “Both of you go back to the ship. She freaks out when she’s cornered by too many people.” 

If it was only him and Tech, they could get her to calm down enough to get a grip on her. Only this time he’d be ready for any Force tricks or her claws.

“I can smoke her out, or just blast my way in there to help!” Wrecker called. 

“No. She’ll get hostile again, and I think she’s worn out by now.” She had to be. “I’ll get her and bring her back.”

“Sarge-”

“Just do what I said! If I comm you, then come back.” Muttering under his breath as his pack snagged numerous times on the roots, Hunter finally squeezed free of the tunnel and headed towards the center of the strange mound. If the kid darted out of one of the tunnels, he could chase her down.

He glanced down at his armor, primarily at the scratches covering his gauntlets. When he’d met her in that tunnel back in the library, he thought he’d imagined the cat-like gleam her eyes held. Or the way her teeth looked a little too sharp. Or the way the growls from her throat were closer to that animal. But the gashes across his gauntlet proved his suspicions were correct.

He wasn’t dealing with a human.

“Tech!” he yelled into his comm. “That woman isn’t human!”

Heavy panting filled his helmet. “I know! I’m not sure what she is, but I’ve almost got her cornered!”

“When you get her, hold her there!” He paused. 

He couldn’t really blame her for a fear of needles. They deeply disturbed him as well, reminding him all too much of the damn longnecks. How they poked and prodded at him and his brothers as if they were nothing but lab rats to be tested and experimented on. The mere thought filled him with burning anger… and sympathy.

Human or inhuman, target or not, she had been a fun opponent in his eyes. Stubborn yet playful. He hated that the chase had turned from playful to dire, for he’d been enjoying himself.

“Don’t sedate her! If she doesn’t think we’ll stick her with the needle, she may calm down.”

“You feel sorry for her because you’re scared of needles too!”

“This isn’t about me! But do not confront her about being inhuman yet! I want to do that myself!”

“Okay, Okay! She’s gone down a tunnel, I think she’s trapped. I’ll hold her here until you find us!”

“Don’t stun her unless needed! I’m on my way.”

~***~

I groaned, closing my eyes and laying my head back on the floor. “If you’re gonna shoot me, do get it over with. I despise suspense.”

“I don’t want to shoot you.”

A rough laugh escaped me. “That makes two of us.”  _ Thought self inserts meant you always bested the characters. This is not my idea of a victory! This has been one of the worst trade deals in the history of trade deals, maybe ever _ “But I ain’t got no desire to be acquainted with your pointy friend.” More wheezing. “Full of who knows what.”

“I know what,” he defended before rattling off some alien chemicals. When I gave him a blank look, he slipped his pistol back into his holster, took off his helmet, and crouched outside the hole. “It wasn’t a large dose, just enough to relax you so you’d stop panicking and calm down.”

“Calm down? I am perfectly calm. Calm as I’ve ever been in my life!” I tried to laugh, but it ended in a gross cough as the air caught in my dry throat. “If I were anymore relaxed, I’d be dead!”

“I’m not convinced,” he announced, brows furrowing at my hacking.

Trying not to die, I croaked, “Gee, what gave that away? The shaky voice?”

“Yes. When someone’s voice shakes, they are quite emotional,” Tech chirped, starting to gesture with his hands. “It’s actually possible to tell what emotion they are feeling based on the inflection of their voice alone.”

“You really are a nerd,” I snorted, rolling my eyes. “And in case you  _ weren’t _ aware of the last twenty to thirty minutes, I’ve been running almost nonstop.” I paused for a moment, sucking in a few lungfuls of air. “I’m dead on my feet. Hell, I ain’t even  _ on _ my feet. I’m flopped like a fish. But I’m still not comin’ out.”

“I just told you it would only relax you!” Tech exclaimed.

“And I’m telling  _ you _ , if you insist on bringin’ that into play you’ll continue to get a hard no from me.”

“If I told you I wouldn’t use it, would you come out?”

_ I might. Were it not for a probably angry Hunter and definitely angry Crosshair _ . “I did not plan to have my funeral today. My knees may be on fire and my stomach trying to digest itself but I’ll stay right here in my happy little hole.”

“Your stomach can’t digest itself,” he remarked.

_ That’s what you retained? Out of everything I told you, you locked onto something you thought to be factually incorrect?  _ “The pH of stomach acid is what, 3? That’s pretty damn acidic.”  _ Well, mine is probably lower given I’m an Alphian _ . “Besides, without mucus your stomach  _ would _ digest itself.”

“Stomach acid 1.5 to 3.5 on the pH scale for humans,” Tech corrected. “Did you know that the stomach is one of the first lines of defense of your immune system?”

_ Well now I do _ . “It’s surprising I even remember that from Bio class. You know how much information I had to shove into my head in sixteen weeks? I learned more about RNA duplication thnt I  _ ever _ cared to.” I frowned, rethinking. “Wait… or was it DNA? Then tRNA and mRNA were just a part of the process?” I coughed. “I know ribosomes were involved. Maybe?”

Not surprisingly, Tech began to chatter away, complete with various gestures, about the  _ interesting _ process of transcription, translation, and all the organelles associated with it. Not wanting to relive biology class, I quickly cut him off. “I’ve already had my final exam, got a picture of me in a skeleton onesie to prove it. I’ve dumped the info out.”

He looked a bit disappointed, and I found myself feeling bad. “Geez, don’t have to look so sad, Tech. You can refresh me later.” I shakily pushed myself onto my elbows. “Looks like I’m goin’ to help y’all anyway. I may be stubborn as a mule, but I’m also just tired of runnin’. Congrats, Tech. You Bad Batchers keep your perfect track record.” I tossed up invisible confetti. “Bravo.”

“Hmm, you are much friendlier when needles aren’t involved.”

I flashed a sarcastic grin at him. “Ain’t we all?”

“I suppose!” he agreed, giving a soft laugh. “So, you’ll come out of that hole?”

“I would, but there’s a problem, Tech.  _ You _ may be nice, but Hunter scares the shit outta me and I’m pretty sure he’d love to stab me right now. I kicked him in the head after all.”

“He won’t stab you!” Tech exclaimed. “He can be harsh but-”

“I literally tried to hit him below the belt and I hook kicked him in the head. The  _ head _ , Tech.” I shook my head rapidly. “He’ll sic y’all on me for sure, and I’m out of steam right now!”

“If you’d just cooperate, I’d have no reason to order them after you.”

I froze at Hunter’s growl before a deep scowl dug into the corners of my mouth “Oh. Great,” I grumbled, teeth flashing as I spoke. “How long has  _ he _ been sittin’ there?”

Tech moved to the side as Hunter shifted into my line of sight. “Long enough.” He took his helmet off, the skull tattoo even more sinister in the dim red light of the Anthill.

“I was afraid of that,” I grumbled. “Tell me the homicidal twig ain’t out there too.”

“Sent him back to the ship,” Hunter said. “But if we do not come back with you in the next thirty minutes, he’s going to bring Wrecker back and they’ll force their way in here.”

I growled unhappily, “Joy.” With him around, the calmness I’d felt while talking with Tech alone faded away. Unease and agitation took its place.

Hunter noticed. “I don’t want to hurt you.” He shifted and reached in towards me. “If you’d just come out of that hole-”

I swatted his hand back. “I think not. It’s a nice, homey little hole. I’ll name it Jeff. Jeff is safe. You are not. I’ll stay in Jeff.”

Hunter raised an eyebrow, hand still extended towards me. “Jeff?”

“It’s either that or Finch.”

“Finch? Why would-” He cut himself off with a groan and pinched the bridge of his nose. “ _ Look _ , the moment we’re done with our mission you’ll never hear from us again. We’ll go our separate ways.”

Still uneasy about the whole thing, I drummed my fingers on the floor. “Who sent you on this mission?”

“We pick our own.”

I shook my head. “Gotta give me something more than that, Sergeant.”

“I  _ gotta _ do nothing.”

I made a face. “Firstly, that imitation was atrocious, please don’t ever do that again. Secondly, if you want me to cooperate you do. Otherwise, you’ll learn just how stubborn I can be.”

“Hunter, just tell her who sent us. That cannot hurt,” Tech argued, finally joining the conversation once more. “She seems willing to help as long as she knows she is not in danger.” He looked back at me and smiled. “Right?”

“He gets it,” I laughed softly. “Tech realizes I am, logically, worried about my physical well-being and would enjoy a bit of explanation so I can see that I would not be at risk of getting attacked by you four. Tech is smart. Be like Tech.”

“Fine,” Hunter muttered, rolling his eyes as Tech looked proud of himself. “There’s a planet being enslaved, and we were told the Vault could have the solution to free them.” He paused, regarding me for a moment with slightly narrowed eyes. “If you come out of there now, I’ll forget you kicked me in the head and we’ll keep the syringe out of this. Sound like a deal?”

“Sounds like coercion,” I grumbled, eyeing his hand.

“Well?”

“Give me a minute, I’m thinkin’.”

“Hurry up.”

I glared at him. “Calm your tits.”

His brows shifted upwards in surprise. “Excuse me?”

“Shush,” I shot back, ignoring his and Tech’s stares.

I really was up the creek without a paddle. I’d run all I could. It was clear I was not getting away from these four. Of course I wasn’t. Not without using my powers at least, and that was an absolute last resort if my life was threatened. 

Even if I used my Alphian powers, they might not be enough to stay ahead of a  _ team _ of superhumans who literally had a zero percent fail rate. They’d also been bred to fight and had rigorous training. I’d gotten quite a bit of training in real life, and during the time on the ship, but it wouldn’t compare if I took on all four at once. So far, I’d only fought hand to hand with one Batcher at a time. Even then, Hunter had managed to subdue me. If they were able to stand up and were armed with guns,  _ and _ I was as exhausted as I was…

“Ain’t got much of a choice I guess,” I said, cautiously reaching for Hunter’s hand. It was warm and I had to repress a flinch at his strong grip. “Alright, Sergeant Hunter. You’ve got yourself a deal.”

A sly grin crossed his face as his grip tightened on my hand. 

_ Oh no _ . 


	8. Ch. 8 Shadow the Salt Master

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shaggy is heavy.   
> Also yes, I do have myself in the Tintin movie before this self insert, but I actually don't have the story itself written out. It's just a bunch of vague snippets. Don't worry, the sailors only come up occasionally in this story, and its always in a mentioned. They don't actually make an appearance.

I don’t know what I expected.

Honestly, I don’t.

I literally gave him something to grab.

In a few seconds flat, I found myself pinned down with a hand around my throat and an armored knee pressed into my stomach, making it a bit hard to breath.

Well, harder.

“Hey! The hell? I’m literally dead on my feet!” I complained, shoving at his leg with one hand. “Get off me!”

His hand tightened, not enough to hinder my breathing but enough to add a slight wheeze. “I may let that slide, but don’t you dare kick or attack us again. Understood?” he asked, tone low.

Gripping his wrist, I coughed and glared up at him. “I get it, now get off,” I growled, bringing a foot up and planting it against his side. The angle put an almost painful strain on my hip but at the moment I had bigger issues.

The knee pressed harder. “Put that leg down, now.”

Ordinarily I wouldn’t have, but this was definitely one man I didn’t want to piss off while he had a hand on my throat. I let it drop back to the ground. “What, we not playin’ a game anymore? Here I was thinkin’ we were just all havin’ a grand ol’ time.”

His eyes narrowed, but I could see a small smirk of amusement on his face. “You’re lucky I’m patient. I’ve done worse to people for less than what you pulled.”

“What  _ I _ pulled? Excuse you, sir,” I retorted. “I told you to back off with the needle, but did you?  _ No _ . So don’t pin this on me!”

He shifted his weight, adding more pressure on my belly. “If you don’t stop smarting off you’re going to have more to worry about than a knee on your stomach.”

I looked at Tech. Until now, the resident genius had been silent as he watched Hunter and I go back and forth. “What I tell you? He’s gonna stab me,” I grumbled, pointing at Hunter.

“No,” Hunter corrected before Tech could start rambling again. “I’m trying to get you to realize that, currently, you’re not in a position to be fighting back!”

Salt returning to flow through my veins and soul, a sarcastic grin twisted my lips. “When you think I’m down, I probably know how to get out of somethin’.” To emphasize my point, I reached up and tugged his thumb backwards, alleviating the pressure off my throat. “Thumb is one of the weakest points.” I shifted my other hand to the underside of Hunter’s wrist and pressed the tendons. His hand tensed, trying to keep a hold, but I tugged it away from my neck. “Press the underside of someone’s wrist and they can’t hold on.”

“Ah! So that’s how you broke Wrecker’s grip!” Tech exclaimed, feeling along the underside of his own wrist.

I grinned at him. “Yep! Soft style is often more fun than hard style!” I started to shove Hunter off, only for him to swing himself onto my hips and sit down hard. His armor pressed painfully into my hip bones, which already stuck out slightly whenever I lied down. “ _ Hey _ ! You’re literally on me, scoot your armored ass off!” I yelped, shoving at his chest. 

Hunter snatched both of my wrists in a vice grip and held them still. “And get kicked again? No.”

“We just made a deal that I wouldn’t kick you again!” I protested. “Damnit, you’re heavy! The hell do you even eat?”

“We are supposed to be on a diet of protein rations but we are able to supplement plenty of organic foods as well,” Tech supplied. 

_ Rhetorical question, my dude _ . I tried biting Hunter’s hands. 

He jerked them out of reach while keeping a hold of my wrists. “What is it with you and biting?”

“Thanks to someone’s heavy ass, my legs are out of commission at the moment.” 

Hunter rolled his eyes. “I’ll get off if you answer this question.”

“Hurry, your armor hurts my hips.”

“How many years’ experience do you have in the martial arts?”

“Decent amount,” I replied as I attempted to hit him in the back with my knee. “Five years of training three times a week for an hour and a half. I’m one of the highest-ranking members and scare all the men for good reason. They will stand in front of anyone but me. Nearly sent the head trainer, a Marine, through the wall once with a spinning side thrust kick under the arm. Equestrian team for four years prior to karate certainly helped build up leg muscle, especially when we had to ride without stirrups.”

“Am I making you nervous?”

I stared up at Hunter, knee halting mid-strike. “What? Where in the blue heck did that come from?”

“You’re chattering. Tech says people do that when they feel nervous.”

“Technically they become incoherent and start repeating the same words over and over as their brain tries to come up with something to rid themselves of the threat,” Tech pointed out. 

Rolling my eyes at Tech, I glared up at Hunter. “Correct me if I’m wrong,  _ Sarge _ , but you asked, didn’t you? And I’m proud of my reputation. I sacrificed my knees to get it, and they’re currently on fire.” I started hitting his back with my knee again. “And my hip bones are gonna be bruised because of you now as well, so move your butt!”

“And if I don’t?”

I narrowed my eyes. “Then I’ll give you a flyin’ lesson.” I wiggled my fingers at him. “Be afraid, Hunter. Be very, very afraid.”

Deadpan, he replied, “I’m shaking.”

“Good. Now scooty scoot.” Groaning in relief as the weight disappeared, I brushed off my stomach and pushed myself into a crouch. “Now, to go back murder Trevor for leavin’ me.”

Hunter grabbed my upper arm. “You’re going back with  _ us _ right now. You can murder your friend and check on your  _ special ice _ after that.”

_ I’d almost forgotten about that. Is this gonna be a running gag between us now? Wonderful _ . I flexed my arm under his grip. “How kind of you to worry about my poor ice stuck in the freezer,” I said with mock gratitude. “This compassion shall not be forgotten.” 

He shook his head, but I could still see a smirk on his face. “You’ll need that ice after Crosshair gets done with you for kicking him.”

“Wonderful,” I muttered, pulling my arm from his grip. I then looked away, heat creeping up my cheeks and my ears shifted backwards. 

“Shadow?” Tech asked, noticing the change in my posture.

Words sticking in my throat, I managed to get out, “Hunter, I… I didn’t mean to hit you in the head. It’s just… needles...”

Hunter stared at me for a moment before slipping his helmet back on. “Yes, you did.”

I looked up at him. “Hey, I’m tryin’ to apologize,” I growled as I followed him down the tunnel. “Don’t make it harder than it already is.”

A small, almost sadistic chuckle was his response. “I’m sure karma will come around eventually.”

_ That chuckle speaks of bad things to come for me.  _ “Is that the name of your knife or Wrecker’s?” I asked as we emerged onto the outer ledge. 

“Don’t you worry about that for now.” Hunter started making his way down the different levels.

I looked over the edge as Tech came alongside me, his helmet back on his head. “You name your knives?”

“Just jump down here.”

I glanced at Tech, jerking my head towards Hunter.

Tech shook his head. “You first.”

“What? Don’t trust me?” I snickered, elbowing him. He glared at me, but judging from the way his eyes slightly scrunched I had the feeling a smile hid under that helmet. I winked at him. “Besides, can’t say anything about naming knives. I got a small one that clips to my waistband that I call Ruko, and then there’s Slasher.” I hopped down after Hunter. “That’s an eighteen-inch double edged machete that’s serrated on one side.”

“And you call us armed to the teeth,” Hunter said as I jumped down beside him.

“You see Slash on me right now?” I asked, gesturing to my unarmed form.

His helmet tilted as he looked me up and down before taking a step forward reaching for my waist.

I jumped backwards, slamming into Tech who grunted and gripped my shoulders to steady us both before we fell down. I crossed my arms in front of my waist and indignantly stared at Hunter. “Hey! What d’ya think you’re doing, buster?”

“Checking for your friend Ruko.”

I swatted his hands away as he reached forward again. “Paws off. You had your chance to feel for that when you channeled your inner octopus earlier in the first tunnel or when you decided to sit on top of me.” 

“Stop that and hold still.” The man stepped closer once more.

I suppressed the urge to snap kick him in the stomach and instead slapped his hand down. “Access denied.” I then slapped my own hand against my stomach where the knife would have been. “See? Just muscle. Now kindly evacuate my personal bubble.” I shooed him back with my hands.

Hunter looked down at my hands. “Did you just ‘shoo’ me?”

“Yes.” 

His helmet tilted up and down before a soft laugh shook his chest. “I can’t tell if you are truly scared of us or you really do see this as a game.”

“What I am, sir, is salty,” I muttered, crossing my arms and giving him a sarcastic smile. “And exhausted.”

“We would have already been done with our talk had you not decided to run,” Hunter said, turning around and heading out of the Anthill.

“Well excuse me for boltin’ from you lot,” I huffed, following him out. “Not all of us are hardwired to be insane like you, Hunter.”

“Ha.”

As we walked, Tech drew alongside me. “If I may ask, why were you so firm in your refusal to help? We only wanted a guide to aid us through the mountains so we can gather information for our mission.” 

“Firstly, how was I to know if I’d even be remotely safe with you four? Shit, that still stands! How do I know you won’t turn on me once you’ve gotten what you need from me?”

“If I guarantee your safety, then you will be safe. Why would we hurt someone we’re not after?” Hunter asked.

__ “This ain’t my first rodeo dealin’ with men like y’all. I have a ship full of sailors as friends. They were rough, hard fighters.”

_ Who were absolute goofballs if you weren’t on their hitlist. Goofballs who could kill you in at least three dozen ways, some of which were morbidly creative, but goofballs nevertheless. _

“Might I ask about them?” Tech paused. “If you don’t mind?”

I rolled my eyes. “What’s to tell? They were all murderous, batshit insane bastards with violent streaks a mile wide. They played  _ rough _ , and they played  _ dirty _ .” I felt a tired smile creep along my face as some rather fond memories flickered across my mind. Namely the lampshade incident. “But damn do I miss those morons. Never a dull moment.”

Tech pondered my words. “Those sailors… Did they teach you street fighting?”

“Yep, and how to better use pistols.” I shrugged tiredly. “I still prefer rifles.”

“You shoot?” At this I had to laugh. It was more of a breathless wheeze, but it nevertheless made Tech raise an eyebrow. “What’s funny?”

_ Do I shoot…  _ I struck terror into the hearts of men for more reasons than my black belt. “I  _ love _ shooting. My first gun, Kindness, has been outfitted with a scope so I can nail Tannerite from a safe distance and not blow myself into oblivion. Although I love nothing more than to light up a target with a full auto machine gun. Talk about power.” I snorted, rubbing my shoulder. “And bruises. The sailors had a bunch of those that they let me play with, so I often had bruised shoulders on that ship.”

“You have a sniper rifle? Named... Kindness?” Tech blinked in confusion.

I snickered. “Kill ‘em with Kindness,” I purred, baring my teeth in a feral grin.

The man shook his head, frowning. “That’s morbid.”

Still grinning, I replied, “My humor has three forms. Morbid, self-deprecating, and inappropriate!” I started coughing again. “For the love of…”

“You sound horrible,” Hunter commented.

I shot an unamused look in his direction. “I parkoured through a library, dip and dodged through tunnels, zipped through a four story obstacle course, fell down a hill, ran for half an hour through  _ another _ maze of tunnels, then went toe to toe with three commando soldiers. I’m entitled to sound a bit rough.” I couldn’t help but laugh. “Yet, honestly, felt kinda good to feel my muscles working as they should again. Was all in all pretty fun. Well, until the needle came into play…”

“How can you be scared of a needle yet retain those scratches with no issue?” Tech gestured to my dirt and grass stained body and the various scrapes covering it. Alphian healing ability really only covered major wounds. I hadn’t sustained large enough wounds to trigger the healing process, and my minor gashes still trickled blood. 

“That… is an excellent question,” I admitted, shrugging. “Don’t make no sense, does it?”

“Why do you talk like that? The grammar isn’t correct.”

I smacked his shoulder. “Ever heard of an accent?”

“What? Of course I have heard of an accent,” he defended, puffing up. “For your information, according to recent data the number of accents in any given language is-”

“Shads!”

My head snapped in the direction of Trevor’s voice. “ _ You _ !”


	9. Ch. 9 Plot Armor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trev is in trouble. And yes, I literally had a building collapse on me and survived thanks purely to plot armor. I enjoy making fun of tropes.   
> But also yes, in the last self insert fiasco there were some sailors I didn't get along with too well. 
> 
> Content Warning: Mentions of sexual assault

In no time flat I had Trevor shoved up against the side of a building and was repeatedly slamming him into the bricks. “You left me!” I shouted, his back hitting the wall with every word. “By thunder, I ought yeet your damn ass to kingdom come!”

Coughing, Trevor gave me a weak grin. “I see you still remember Allan’s swears!”

A dark, almost murderous smirk split my face. “Aye, and I remember his  _ advanced interrogation _ techniques too!”

Trevor’s hands went down to his groin. “Don’t remind me of that!”

“You deserved to have your dick shot!”

“Why didn’t the sailors ever go after you? You mouthed off more than me!”

“Are you forgetting that  _ they hit me with a damn truck _ ?!” 

“How is that worse than me getting shot in the dick?!”

“The building collapsed on me, jackass!”

“Karking hells, how are either of you alive?!” Hunter exclaimed, walking up to stand beside us.

“Plot armor,” Trevor and I replied in unison.

That was not helpful in the slightest to shaggy haired sergeant. “What is  _ plot armor _ ?”

Tech trotted over, definition at the ready. “A literary term used when a character in a story survives something they should never live through. They are too important to the story itself so they are, quite literally, protected by the plot!” His brows furrowed. “But wait… I thought your experience with the sailors actually happened? If you say you were protected by plot armor, then your experience with them did not truly happen.”

I shrugged and dropped Trevor. He hit the sidewalk with a yelp and rubbed his backside. “Ow! My poor tailbone.”

“Fuck your tailbone,” I snorted before turning to Hunter and Tech. “If it was a story, then I have no idea where in the hell I got these.” I lifted the bottom of my shirt, exposing my middle and the two nasty scars stretching across the toned skin.

I heard a sharp inhale from Tech as his eyes went wide. “What happened?”

“Some sailors wanted to see more of me than I wanted to show.” I chuckled, but there was no humor in it. “But I don’t think they’ll be using their dicks anytime soon. If ever again.”

“Rotation Seventeen is quite effective,” Trevor agreed from the ground.

“Rotation Seventeen?” Hunter echoed.

Dropping my shirt back down, I nodded with a wicked grin. “Fists of Fury.” I started towards Hunter. “Want me to show you?”

He took a quick step back. “Absolutely not.” His helmet turned towards Trevor, who had pulled himself up on the wall. “I would, however, like a word with  _ you _ ,” he growled.

Trevor grinned nervously. “Ah! Yes, well, you see, I left my fish in their tanks, I gotta go check on-!”

Hunter grabbed his collar and slammed him against the wall.

“Them!” Trevor squeaked. Green eyes shot towards me. “I think you’ll get along great with these men!”

“Cut the shit, Trev. Hunter’s feelin’ stabby so I wouldn’t recommend pissin’ him off.”

“You call him ‘Stabby’ yet you own a large machete,” Tech pointed out. 

“This isn’t about me.”

“Actually, it is,” Hunter said. “Why didn’t you tell us that kid was Force sensitive?”

“Hey hey hey!” Trevor yelped, raising his hands. “She isn’t Force sensitive! Shads, tell him!”

Hunter’s looked back to me. “Then how did you shove Tech against the wall?”

“I have telekinesis,” I admitted.

“Same thing.”

As I expected, Tech stepped forward with a raised hand. “Technically it’s not. The Force encompasses all living things and is a life force that binds the galaxy together. Telekinesis simply allows the user to move objects with their mind.” 

Ignoring his brother, Hunter glared back at Trevor. “When I ask if there is anything I should know about someone, supernatural abilities count.”

“Eh, he was probably doing it to protect me. There is a caring man in there.” I frowned, looking Trevor up and down. “Somewhere. It’s the only reason I ain’t straight killed his annoyin’ ass yet.”

“Yet he left you to deal with four commandos on your own. You’re just a kid!”

“Hey!” I protested, spreading my arms wide indignantly. “I’m almost twenty!”

“She’s stronger than she looks,” Trevor replied. 

Tech rubbed the finger I yanked backwards. “We noticed.”

I glanced at him. “Yeah… sorry about your finger.”

“Sorry about the needle.”

“Eh, you gave it your best shot.” His eyes squinted at me, causing me to give him a cheeky grin. “Caught that, did ya?”

“It wasn’t very subtle.”

“Any more surprises I should be aware of?” Hunter continued to press, again ignoring me and Tech.

“If she’s agreed to help you, no.” Trevor gave me a genuine smile. “She’s nothing if not loyal. As long as she’s on your side and you don’t betray her, she’ll never betray you. Granted, she does like to play chase first. But it looks like you got her on your side! And you did it without hittin’ her with a truck, too!”

Tech looked at me. “I meant to ask, what is a  _ truck _ ?” he asked, head doing that little endearing tilt.

_ No. No emotional shenanigans. _

_ It’s  _ **_Tech_ ** _. The Sassy Cinnamon Roll himself. Make an exception. _

**_No_ ** _. _

“Type of speeder. The sailors didn’t really do sedatives.”

Tech threw up his hands. “How can you have been hit by a speeder and survive a building falling on you, yet you fear a small needle?”

“I don’t know why I am the way that I am!”

“Wait,” Hunter said. “You still joined the men who did it?”

“It is a  _ long _ story. And complicated.”

_ Hell, even I don’t understand the entirety of it.  _ The first time I had been thrown into a fandom had been the Tintin fandom, or at least the 2011 movie version, but with a twist. It was the fandom alright, but also the universe I concocted with my very first fanfiction ever. When I was fourteen. Talk about a hot mess. OP as freak. Then in a cruel twist of fate, four years after I wrote my character leaving them behind because of a dumbass misunderstanding, I get thrown into that very universe where the sailors still were hurting from the loss of my character.

I rubbed the back of my neck. “Let’s just say I have a bad habit of gettin’ tangled with rather…  _ interestin’ _ individuals.”

“Rude,” Trevor snorted, crossing his arms.

“You’re not interestin’, you’re just bothersome.”

“Need us to come back, Sarge?”

Hunter glanced at his commlink as Wrecker’s voice crackled to life. “No. Had a small complication, but it’s fixed.” 

“Got Small Fry?”

I crossed my arms. “He better not call me that for the rest of the time I’m with you…”

“Yes, Wrecker, she’s with us.”

“Hey Small Fry!” Wrecker yelled happily over the comm.

I rolled my eyes, but a small smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. Always so enthusiastic, it was hard not to like him. “Howdy, Wrecker.”

“You decided to join us?” 

“I was  _ politely _ asked to rethink my position.” I shot a glare at the Bad Batch sergeant. “Hunter also sat on me and he’s heavy.”

Wrecker started laughing. “See you soon, Small Fry!”

Hunter released Trevor. “Next time I ask you a question, about anything, you answer it with the whole truth. Or we will have problems.” He pulled out his arm knife, which I immediately wanted to hold. It looked nice. “Do I make myself clear, Trevor?” he asked, voice dangerously quiet.

Trevor’s teeth flashed in a nervous smile. “Y-Yes, I get it.”

“Good. I will not repeat myself.” Hunter sheathed his knife and turned away. “Tech, bring her.”

Tech grabbed my wrist and pulled me along. “Come on.”

_ Heart, stop that racket. This self-insert is slowly turning into a damn ‘Don’t Fall for Adorable Nerd _ _ TM _ _ Simulator 2020’.  _ “Yeah yeah I’m comin’!”

“Shadow, I’ll catch up with you after I go talk to Scooter!” Trevor called after me.

“Arrange your funeral while you’re at it!” I called back.

“I don’t know how you deal with that man,” Hunter grumbled, glancing at me from the side.

“It’s a mystery to both of us,” I said, pulling my wrist from Tech’s grip. “I do wish you had smacked the  _ di’kut _ though.”

“You know  _ Mando’a _ ?” Tech asked, surprised.

“Very little. Enough to insult someone,” I snickered. I knew a grand total of eight phrases in  _ Mando’a _ ; idiot, brother, little one, sweetheart, bloody shadow, bloody hell, how to ask someone if they wanted a smack in the face, and how to say someone’s brain cells were lonely.

“You have the necessities then,” Hunter remarked dryly, a faint smile on his face as he pulled off his helmet.

I laughed. “Damn straight! If there was one thing I learned on that ship, it was the most important words you could learn in a language. Altogether there were about ten different languages spoken on that ship and I could insult people in all of them.”

Hunter snorted as we drew within sight of the  _ Havoc Marauder _ , which sat in a large dirt clearing on the edge of town by a large grove of trees. He suddenly stopped and turned to me, narrowing his eyes in what I was quickly recognizing as his analytical look. Felt like he was looking right into your damn soul as you did that, and knew what you were thinking too. “I shouldn’t expect any more surprises, should I?”

Lying to him would definitely be a waste of time. He’d smell it in a heartbeat. Luckily for me, I was a writer. I knew how to twist and contort words in a manner that while it did not answer the true question, it still was not a lie. But would he catch it?

“As Trevor said, once you’ve gotten me on your side, I’m pretty loyal. I’ve dealt with enough backstabbers and traitors that even the thought of them leaves a bad taste in my mouth and an urge to bury a blade in something.”

“I did not ask if you were loyal.”

He stepped closer and it took all I had to not back away. I may have gotten used to sailors stepping in my space to intimidate me, and thus gotten used to standing my ground, but that didn’t make it any easier. If anything, Hunter was harder than any of the sailors short of Allan. With the other men, at least I knew they’d start swinging. Hunter… he might or he might not. He was unpredictable.

And I was not a fan.

“I asked if I should expect any surprises.”

“Don’t like surprises either?” I laughed nervously.

His eyes narrowed. “Answer the question. Stop stalling.”

“Stallin’? I’m not stallin’ anything,” I said, shrugging innocently.

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are. You’re doing it right now,” Hunter accused, pointing a finger at me.

“I’m… stallin’?”

“Yes!” he yelled.

I frowned, trying not to laugh as Hunter had, unknowingly, began to recreate that Spongebob scene. I tapped my chin, pretending to think, before looking up at him innocently once more. “Stallin’?”

“Stalling!”

“You  _ are _ hiding something from us,” Tech interjected before I could continue the cycle and push Hunter to the breaking point. “Your body is giving you away.”

I stared at him, admittedly uncomfortable with the thought of Tech analyzing the way my body moved. “The hell you mean by that, nerd?”

“You may be saying one thing with your mouth, but your body tells another story.”

“He’s right,” Hunter said.

“Did you know ninety three percent of communication is nonverbal? As humans we do not think we rely heavily on it, but we do.”

I nodded, not sure where he was going with this. “Yeah, I love analyzin’ body language. Makes it fun to mess with people.”

“You occasionally give off body language similar to a cat.”

I froze, but the distracted nerd continued on.

“Your ears move, you twitch your nose, and while in the tunnels on various occasions I noticed your body moved more like a cat than a human. Very interesting, I rarely see humans move in such a way. Your teeth bare often too while you speak,” Tech rambled, but there was a strange glint in his eyes as he spoke. A sort of challenge.

He knew I wasn’t human…

“Your ears did it again!” he exclaimed, stepping closer. “They shifted backwards like an uneasy feline.”

_ Uneasy feline indeed _ .

Yanking off his helmet, he started weaving back and forth, as if trying to catch something in my gaze from a certain angle. “Your eyes possess tapetum lucidum as well!” he said, smiling.

**_That_ ** _ I can’t pass off as some weird learned behavior _ .

“Her eyes possess  _ what _ ?” Hunter echoed.

“They have a reflective surface directly behind the retina, which refracts light back through photoreceptors within the eye!” Tech chirped, growing more animated by the minute. “That’s what you have as well, Hunter.” 

I glanced at the sergeant. Hunter was looking at me with that analytical gaze again, and it made me feel downright transparent. My teeth began to bare slightly, a low growl rumbling in my throat. I couldn’t help but shoot a small glare at Tech. “Thanks for revealin’ me, mate.”

He looked hurt which instantly made me regret my words. “Hunter already knew!” he protested.

I glanced at Hunter, who nodded. “That’s the surprise I was talking about.”

“Hold the phone.” I held up a hand. “If you already knew, then it ain’t a surprise!”

“I do not know your species, but you are going to tell me.”

“Could we possibly take a rain check on that until after I learn why y’all are here?” I asked, laughing nervously.

Hunter looked me over. “Alright. But I want answers after that. Am I clear?”

I gave a sarcastic salute. “Crystal clear, Sarge.”

He stepped past, cuffing me over the back of the head. “You’re lucky I find your boldness amusing.”

_ Y’all really are a physical bunch huh? Pushin’, shovin’, hittin’, sittin’ on people, jeeze.  _

“Of course it’s amusing, my entire life’s a joke,” I retorted dryly, rubbing the back of my head. I turned to Tech who stood frowning at me.  _ It’s your fault I’m in this mess, bud. You’re lucky you’re too cute to stay mad at.  _ “Tech, my guy, there is a time and place for questions. This was not the time nor place.”

“You’re a species with feline in their blood. A predator species,” he pressed. He looked somewhat impressed too, which made me feel way warmer than it should have.

But I wasn’t about to spill my species’ secrets out here in the open. “If you’ll hold out on the questions, I’ll answer any you ask when we’re where less people can listen in. Deal?”

He tilted his head. “Any question?”

I gave him a lopsided frown. “Within reason.”

That seemed to please him, and he nodded in agreement as we turned to follow Hunter. “Deal.” He paused. “You know, not many people stand up to Hunter.”

I snorted. “Don’t give me too much credit, I wanted to faint.”

“But you did hold his gaze.”

“No, I stared right between his eyes. Psych trick.”

He perked up. “You study psychology too?”

“I was a psychology major. Now I’m Environmental Studies.”

If he wasn’t interested before, he was now. “You like science?”

“Hell yeah! I just suck at tests because memory is as reliable as a candle in a hurricane. All that’s in this head is stupid facts, how to murder with a toothpick, and sea shanties.”

His eyes went a little wide. “How to kill someone with a toothpick?”

I shrugged. “Or tea cup. Violence is only fun if you get creative with it.”

“You sound like Crosshair.”

I made a face. “Not flatterin’.” Growing close, I recognized the sniper’s thin figure lounging in the fork of two large branches. I squinted. Was he part pigeon?

“So,  _ there _ she is,” Crosshair hissed, slipping out of the tree. Landing in a manner that I begrudgingly admitted was graceful, he stalked over. “You, brat, are in a world of trouble.”

“What are you gonna do, Twiggs?” I snorted, rolling my eyes as I crossed my arms. “Insult me? Ain’t nothing you can tell me that I don’t already tell myself.”

He grabbed the pistol from his belt and pointed it at my chest, making Tech yelp. “I could stun you right here and now, sweetheart.”

In no time I had twisted the gun out of his hands and had it aimed at his face. The partial surprise on his face filled me with satisfaction. I gave him a mocking grin. “For a man with exceptional eyesight, you didn’t see that comin’?”

“She’s a high-ranking martial artist,” Hunter said, eyeing my stance. “Five years of training. She’s also had a decent amount of training with firearms.”

I smirked at Crosshair but didn’t take my eyes from the sniper, knowing the moment I did he’d go for a headlock.

A dark grin appeared on Crosshair’s face, and my stomach sank. What did this twig have planned? Holding my gaze, he called, “Wrecker.  _ Small Fry _ is here.”

“You little shit,” I managed to get out before a roar shook the earth. 

“Where is she?!”

I flinched as Wrecker came barreling out of the ship, heading straight for me. “Not again.”


	10. Ch. 10 But Why Tho?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I come for Crosshair's neck.   
> Also, gotta love fourth wall breaks!

I abandoned Crosshair’s gun and dove to the side into a sloppy shoulder roll, barely dodging Wrecker.

Great,  _ more _ cardio! Except this time, instead of dodging a panther, squirrel monkey, and walking stick, I had to avoid a freight train! At least freight trains could only travel in a straight line and did not have good breaks. The trick, however, would be to stay out of its way.

It took him a moment to stop and turn but then he was charging at me again.

“Hey! C’mon man!” I protested, scrambling out of the way again. Sure, I liked the guy, but not enough to let him run me over.

Hunter stood to the side, arms crossed as he watched the scene unfold. “Wrecker, when you do catch her, don’t break her.”

“Asshole!” I yelled at him before shouting at Tech, “Tech! Little help!”

“He won’t hurt you if he catches you! I think!” he yelped as he watched Wrecker gain on me.

“You  _ think _ ?” I yelled, skidding to a halt and diving to the side again as Wrecker nearly caught me. “In case your goggles are smudged, this man is after me like a runaway freight train right now!”

“Just wanna get you back for kickin’ my brothers!”

“Is there a non-violent way to get even for that?” I yelped, running towards the back of the ship. “Or is that a stupid question?”

“C’mon, Small Fry, I won’t hurt ya bad!” Wrecker laughed, sounding like a supervillain.

“I am not small! I am a tall midget!” I retorted, dashing around the ship and sliding under the belly to cut back towards the trees. More dirt and grit stuck to me and stung my cuts but I had bigger issues right now. Rushing past Hunter, I growled, “You can stop this at any time you know!”

“I could,” he acknowledged with a shrug as I charged past. “But I won’t. This is rather enjoyable.”

“To  _ you _ !” I was running out of steam. “He breaks me, I can’t hike!”

“Hmm, that’s true.” He paused. “I’ll let karma deal with you for a bit longer,” he decided as Wrecker barreled past him.

“I hope you step on a snake!” Scurrying up a tree, I kicked at Wrecker’s hands as he reached upwards. “Begone! Go on! Git!”

He just laughed and continued to grab for my ankle. “Oh, come down here!”

Forget freight train, I had an overly excited rottweiler chasing me! I didn’t sign up to be a squirrel! I tried to jump over Wrecker, but he abruptly turned and caught me in a near crushing grip, pinning me between two layers of hard armor. “Ack!”

“Gotcha again!” he laughed, holding me in the air.

Coughing, I noticed his grip was tight but not exactly painful. So, he had some control. Well that was a relief. I still did not enjoy this impromptu hug secession. His armor did not help matters, especially when he hugged me closer. “Ugh, I’d rather you run me over than cuddle me!” I complained, squirming.

“Then I’m holdin’ you for the briefin’!”

“No! Tech!” I whined, looking over at the goggled trooper. “Help me out here!”

He raised his hands. “I don’t think I’ll get involved with this. Besides, you said yourself he’d get you back for kicking us.”

“Excuse me for using  _ self _ defense to defend my  _ self _ !” I hissed, still wriggling in Wrecker’s grip.

“You aren’t getting out of his grasp, kid. Just give in.”

I glared at Hunter. “No surrender, I die like a man.”

“Cuddled to death isn’t a very noble death,  _ sweetheart _ ,” Crosshair sneered at me, having recovered his gun.

“I will shove your rifle so far up your pretentious ass you’ll be able to spit your shots!”

“Oh, I’m sure. You aren’t in a position to be makin’ threats.” Crosshair stalked up to where Wrecker held me in the air. He looked me up and down before pulling the toothpick from his mouth and pointing it at me. “So, I’d watch your mouth if I were you.”

“Go deepthroat a cactus, Twiggy!”

The various reactions of the men were hilarious. Tech winced and clutched his throat, Wrecker was completely silent as my insult sank in before he started cracking up, Hunter had a look of horror on his face, and Crosshair, for once, seemed at a loss for words.

I bared my teeth in a sneering grin. “Aw, what’s wrong,  _ Cross _ ? Cat got your tongue?” I laughed, lips still drawn back in a snarl. “If you think I’ll take your bullshit lyin’ down, you’ve got another thing comin’, my guy. There’s a reason none of the cocky boys in my senior class started shit with me, I came for their  _ life. _ ” 

A smirk spread across his face. “Then I’ll repay the favor,  _ kitten _ .”

_ Oh  _ **_hell_ ** _ no.  _ Using Wrecker as a back brace, I rabbit kicked Crosshair in the chest and sent the sniper flying back off his feet. “ _ Sweetheart _ I’ll tolerate. Call me  _ kitten _ and I’ll drop your stick bug lookin’ ass. Try me.”

Hunter stepped forward, his expression reminding me of the second episode’s start; Profoundly uncomfortable. “Wrecker, get her on the ship so we can explain what’s going on.”

“Ok, Sarge!” Wrecker yelled, heading to the ship. “You really are a feisty Small Fry!” he commented to me, adjusting his grip as he walked past a fuming Crosshair who sat on the ground.

“You’re gonna make me go deaf!” I protested, leaning away from him.

“Er, it takes much more than that for you to go deaf,” Tech chirped shyly as he followed, technical as always. “Besides, if none of us have gone deaf yet, you will not.”

_ You don’t have superhuman hearing _ , I thought bitterly as Wrecker carried me up the steps.

I had always dreamed of actually seeing the inside of the  _ Havoc Marauder _ . But not like this. However, I resigned myself to my fate as Wrecker headed for one of the seats within the ship. Spinning around, he plopped down in one of the chairs. I wriggled, trying to get comfortable. Armor did not make for a good seat. Grumbling, I crossed my arms and rested them over his.

Crosshair stepped into the ship and gave me a condescending grin. “Comfortable,  _ kitten _ ?”

Narrowing my eyes, I reached out and used a faint telekinetic shove to make him stumble. When he glared at me, I smiled sweetly. “Oops.”

“I’ll get you back yet,” he swore, all but baring his teeth at me.

I chuckled, pretty sure I matched his laugh from the first episode. “Can’t wait, Twiggs McGee.”

Hunter stepped in. “That’s enough for now.”

Crosshair and I glared at each other but didn’t make another comment.

Tech walked in and set his helmet on the console before walking towards the back of the ship. I grew tense when I saw him take the syringe out of a pouch on his armor, but thankfully he did not bring it towards me. Instead he vanished to elsewhere in the ship to most likely put it wherever they kept their pointy toys.

Glancing around, I studied the inside of the spacecraft, filing the information away for story purposes later. I meant for my originals to have a sci-fi feel… but I sucked at technology. Lots of multicolored lights covered the control panels and walls, and I wondered what some of them did. Was the  _ Havoc Marauder  _ like a spy car? Full of hidden secret agent tricks? It did belong to the Bad Batch after all. Tech had probably installed who knew what kind of advanced weaponry in this ship?

I glanced towards the cockpit, hoping they’d let me in there to investigate the controls. Hell maybe I could bother Tech to give me a tour around the inside of the ship. He’d probably love to chatter for hours about the different ins and outs of the ship. 

As if on cue, Tech emerged from the back, carrying something else in his hand. Making his way over to me, he raised the canister. “Bacta.” He gave me a shy smile. “Apology for… earlier.”

“ _ Why _ are we wasting our supplies on her?” Crosshair demanded of Hunter as the shaggy haired sergeant walked in. “After what she did to us, I say let her deal with the pain.”

Tech came to my rescue. “We’re the reason she’s hurt.”

Crosshair threw up his hands and walked out, probably to find himself a toothpick.

“Thanks, Tech.” I glanced at the canister. “Gel or spray?”

“Spray, can you tilt your head to the side so I can reach the cut on your clavicle?” A small, mischievous grin accompanied his words, and I realized it was a strange test of sorts to see if I had a good knowledge of bones.

_ You are a strange little man, Tech _ . “Yeah, you can spray it on my collarbone.” I mirrored his small grin and pulled the collar of my shirt down so he could reach it. I then had to hope my face wasn’t as red as it felt as me got closer, bracing a hand on my shoulders to steady me.

_ Stomach, you’d better digest those damn butterflies this minute _ .

“Your ears are twitching again,” he commented, an almost playful grin on his face as he sprayed my cut.

I hissed in pain as the disinfectant stung.  _ Oh great, now there’s a migratory swarm in my stomach. _

“Her ears wiggle?” Wrecker asked, leaning to the side.

Irritable as another wave of pain raced through the disinfected cuts, I growled low. “You touch,” I warned as he reached up to brush some hair back, “I bite.”

He didn’t seem to believe me, but when his fingers brushed my ear, I jerked my head to the side and snapped my teeth at his hand. Catching one of his fingers, I locked my jaw to keep a hold without biting his finger in half. He yelped and tried to pull it back but I growled and kept a hold on it. The odd tug o’ war lasted until my tongue brushed his glove after which I quickly spat his finger out.

“Yuck! The hell your hand been?!”

Wrecker, meanwhile, shook his hand. “Sharp teeth!”

“I warned you!”

“Shadow, I can’t administer this if you’re moving around,” Tech huffed, now holding my wrist to keep it steady as he moved on to my arm.

“Tell that to Wrecker!” I complained.

“Wrecker, I can’t administer this if she’s moving around.”

_ Well well, the nerd has dry humor. _

“I just wanted to see her ears move!” Wrecker complained.

“You’ll see them later, she’s going to lead us to the Vault,” Hunter said from where he leaned against the console, arms crossed. He’d stayed quiet during the whatever-it-was between Wrecker and me, but I swore he looked amused. 

_ Great… stuck with this for three or more days _ . I thought I’d been salty with the sailors but this… this was a new level of salt. I’d be saltier than the Dead Sea if this kept up.

Nevertheless, as Tech moved to my leg where a long gash stretched up the outside, I warned, “Tech, may want to move to the side. I’ve got one hell of a leg reflex and I don’t want to kick you in the face.” Salty as I was, I didn’t wish the nerd harm. 

“I’ll note that,” he remarked, shifting out of the way and grabbing my ankle.

Sure enough, the moment the spray hit the side of my leg I snarled in pain and jerked my leg. That burned like a bitch!  _ Better than Tom pouring alcohol on your gash that time. What an idiot. A well-meaning idiot, but an idiot nevertheless. _

“Don’t worry, Small Fry, it won’t hurt for much longer!” Wrecker chuckled, patting my head much to my annoyance. I could have let the one pat slide, but then he began to stroke it. “Soft!”

_ Absolutely not _ ! “Wrecker! No pets!”

“Your hair is soft like Hunter’s!”

Cursing his tactile nature, I snapped as his hand again, causing hair to fall into my eyes. He’d learned from last time, unfortunately, and my teeth clacked shut inches from his finger. I hissed and shook my head to clear my vision. “Cease your antics!”

His arm tightened around my waist. “I’m not gonna hurt you!”

“I’ll hurt _you_ if you don’t stop strokin’ my damn hair!” I hissed, opting instead to try and bat away his large hand. That of course escalated quickly, and I soon found myself in a bizarre hand-slapping battle with Wrecker.

“No touchy!”

“But it’s soft!”

“You can’t even feel texture through your gloves!”

“It’s fluffy!”

“That’s not fluff, that’s humidity!”

_ What even is my life _ ?

Hunter cleared his throat. “Hate to interrupt…” He gestured vaguely. “Whatever this is, but can you two pay attention?”

“I know what’s goin’ on, Sarge!” Wrecker protested, trying to grab and hold my arms down.

While Hunter looked quite amused at my unorganized slapping, he shook his head. “She doesn’t. Stop.”

Wrecker finally stopped and dropped his hand. To my chagrin, his hand landed on my knee. I shoved it off with a growl, but he flopped it back on. Thus, another battle had begun which consisted of me pushing his hand off and him flopping it back on my leg. The armored limb that still curled around my waist tightened more, his large hand pressing against my side.

_ His hands are warm, though. And he’s muscular, but gentle when he wants to be. Probably would be good for cuddles without the armor! _

_ Stop it,  _ I hissed at the touch starved portion of my brain. It was bad enough that I was so touch-starved that if I had skin on skin contact with someone not in my immediate family I’d probably have an out of body experience, but now I was stuck with  _ Wrecker _ who had the same grasp of personal space as a golden retriever puppy.

“ _ Wrecker _ ,” Hunter barked. “We do have a mission. You two can wrestle later.” Ignoring my death stare, Hunter walked over and shut the hatch to the  _ Marauder _ . “Kid, listen up.”

Seeing the door shut made me twitch, and I grunted Wrecker tightened his grip. “Erf. Hey, I need to breathe!”

“I’m not holdin’ you that tight!” he objected.

“I am all of five and a half feet tall, and you’re what? Six six? Six seven? You literally have taken to callin’ me ‘Small Fry’!” I squirmed, kicking his shins. “You’re worse than one of the sailors was when it comes to invadin’ my bubble for cuddles!”

“Wrecker, let her go.”

“What if she runs again?” Crosshair growled as he came back in, another toothpick between his teeth.

I showed him a single finger. “Suck my non-existent dick.”

“She won’t.” Hunter locked eyes with me and raised an eyebrow. “Will you?”

Slapping Wrecker’s arm again, I huffed, “No. I get it. I agreed to help, and I don’t make a habit of going back on my word.” I glared behind me at Wrecker. “I just am  _ not _ a hugger.” 

Tech spoke up. “May want to get used to it. He’ll probably do it again.” He started to gesture again, alerting me to incoming trivia. “Did you know hugging is good for mental health and can help improve your immune system?”

“Also good for heart health and helps strengthen trust between people,” I added with a snort. “You aren’t the only one with a head full of trivia, Tech.”

Tech frowned, brows furrowing.

_ Cute _ .

**_Stop_ ** _ that _ . _ You’ll set off Hunter’s senses and then where will we be?! _

“Then… why do you not like hugs?”

“Don’t you guys have a reason for chasin’ me down and givin’ me a cardio workout to last me the next week?” I grumbled. It was easier to say I didn’t like hugs than try and explain that I had a sensory disorder that could cause me to become physically violent when my literal body reacted negatively to touch. I actually loved hugs, but I’d never know when the disorder would be set off. Sometimes it was, sometimes it wasn’t. How could I explain something I didn’t even understand? There was a reason my lab papers were always bullshit. I didn’t know shit and couldn’t explain shit. “Also, Wrecker, kindly release me.”

Wrecker groaned unhappily and let me go. I hopped up, finally off that man’s lap, and gave his arm a final swat before I leaned against the wall, crossing my arms. I looked Hunter over before meeting his eyes again. “You’ve got my full attention, sergeant.”

_ Finally… it’s been eight chapters since this story started _ .  _ Time to find out what the deal is. _


	11. Ch. 11 I Hate This Part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dear and lovely reader, you are now reading the revised version of this chapter! Enjoy the extra worldbuilding, since I barely had any the first time around. 
> 
> For the new reader, enjoy my Alphian species! I have more information on them over on my tumblr!  
> https://shadowsstorystuff.tumblr.com/   
> Just type the tag "Alphian(s)" and it should come up!

Hunter leaned back against the console and crossed his arms, mirroring me. Crossing one ankle over the other, he began, “You know we are looking for the name and location of a planet that is hidden away in a secret cave in your mountains.”

“Aye. The Vault,” I said with a nod. “You said somethin’ earlier about a group enslavin’ a planet?

“Good, you remember. Saves me time,” he snorted before continuing, “Standard weapons are useless against ‘em. We don’t know what they are, or even where they came from. We weren’t given a lot of information, but what we do know is they’re very powerful and even after one has been shot down it can get back up.”

_ Yeah, that’s definitely pretty powerful. _

“If they’d just let us go in-” Wrecker began.

Hunter cut him off. “I don’t like flying blind into a situation like that. They’re organics, not droids, and could have abilities we can’t imagine.”

“How big is this planet and how many enemies are we talkin’?” I asked.

Tech stepped forward. “It’s not a large planet at all, the local population is only about two hundred million. It’s a desert planet, so not very kind conditions for human life. Their civilization is quite primitive as well. The invaders, from what information we were given, have around a quarter of that number.”

My eyes widened. Four to one and the planet was still losing? “That’s some pretty powerful invaders. The hell can they even do?”

“Again, we don’t have much to go off of,” Hunter said. “But rumor says they shapeshift.”

_ Shapeshift _ ? A strange chill went down my spine. Almost as if I knew the species they were talking about.  _ What would the odds be that this mystery species is my very own Alphians? _ “That’s a big advantage…” I commented, still half way lost in thought.

Hunter immediately picked up on my tone shift. “You know ‘em?”

I shook my head slowly. “Without a specific name, I can’t be sure. Plus, with such a big galaxy, there could be many shapeshifter species runnin’ about. There’s those Clawdite things, right?”

“Yes, but Clawdites can only mimic species they see and cannot add physical mass to their bodies,” Tech interjected. “A Clawdite also undergoes great physical pain while shifting. These invaders could not only transform into strange and unknown beasts, but could so so with no sign of physical discomfort. I wish I could have gotten more information on them, but sadly few reports managed to bypass the invaders.”

_ Ain’t you just a little xenobiologist _ . “Is there any more information you  _ can  _ tell me?”

Hunter spoke up. “They glow.”

A frown dug into the corners of my mouth. “We talkin’ mystical markings or we talkin’ organic glowstick?”

A brow raised at my wording but Hunter replied, “Markings.”

_ That’s certainly interesting _ .  _ Still, for it to be my own species is just too cliché. There’s no way _ .

Eyes narrowing as he watched me closely, Hunter added, “It shows up when they use elemental powers.”

_ Nope, that’s just too damn cliché.  _ Maybe I was living in denial, but honestly, it really was cliché! Granted I was thrown into a TV show in a fucked up type of involuntary self-insert, but for me to travel to my own planet that I created and unlock the key to a species I was basically a goddess over… now that was just plain silly.

“It really is quite fascinating!” Tech chirped. “The markings look so intricate and are the same no matter the color.” He scurried to the console, shooing Hunter out of his way. “I should be able to bring up one of the holo files we were sent.”

Hunter moved away and came to stand next to me, an action that unnerved me.

_ I swear if you start sniffin’ me for signs of fear, I’m gonna start swinging. _

Tech typed away at the motherboard of buttons before an image flickered to life on the screen. 

The feed was patchy at best, but I didn’t need 4K HD to recognize the species. 

The fighter was a tan skinned female with bearing the traits of a feline type Alphian just as I had, but her tail was far thinner and her speckled tan fur shorter. Pale grey markings glimmered across her skin, and as the video continued I caught a glimpse of the Air symbol before a swirling column of air shot outwards towards the poor soul taking the video. 

A scream, a blurred image, a crunch, and crimson droplet splattering across the camera as it laid abandoned in the dirt. The female coming into shot once more, the blue streaks of blaster bolts clipping her shoulder, a fierce snarl revealing savage teeth, her crouching and mist surrounding her, a roar and the mist vanishing to reveal a large, lean feline that launched itself offscreen followed by another scream.

The video shut off, leaving me with a slight feeling of nausea. 

Oh, I knew  _ exactly _ what species that was. 

“You know what that was, don’t you?” Hunter asked from beside me. 

“Yeah…” I muttered, salt returning full force. Of  _ course _ it’d be my species. “I know what they are.”

“What is their name?” Tech asked, staring at me with intense curiosity. “Where did they come from? Why are they so powerful?”

“Easy, Twenty Questions,” I said, raising my hands. 

“What weakness do they have?” Hunter demanded. 

“Both of you chill with your questions,” I growled. “Their name isn’t important. What  _ is  _ important is that you’re right. The Vault is needed to gain their weakness. I’ll take you there.”

“But what are they, Small Fry?” Wrecker spoke up. 

Hunter was staring at me again, and sure enough his nose twitched. 

_ This is weird… _ Nevertheless I shot him a pleading look, hoping at least he had  _ some _ mercy and would let me off with this.

His eyes narrowed as he stared me down, but then his gaze softened ever so slightly and he looked over my head to his team. “Doesn’t matter, she’s helping us find the weakness anyways. Right, Shadow?”

“Aye, sir,” I said quickly, relieved he let me slide. 

_ He’ll ask you later, you know _ .

_ Then I’ll deal with it then _ .  _ Problem for future me _ .

“But you’ll tell us eventually what they were, right?” Tech prompted, coming to my side. 

I nodded. “Yeah.” Eventually. 

“Alright, how do we get to the Vault? You know the way there?” Hunter asked, moving past me to lean on the console once more. 

“Yeah, over the river and through the woods.” I recalled the information dump, and suddenly grew excited despite everything else going wrong all at once it seemed. 

Hiking. Just the very word brought a smile to my face. I hadn’t been able to do that in forever. The Smokies were my favorite place to hike out of all the places I’d been, and these woods were exactly like those. Temperate rainforest. This actually could be pretty fun, all things considered. I’d probably explore it anyways, Bad Batch or not. With them could admittedly be pretty fun, maybe. 

I began to pace back and forth, four pairs of brown eyes tracking me. 

“What are you doin’?” Crosshair grumbled, finally speaking up from his spot in the corner, and all I could think of was that Spongebob meme.

_ He’s just standing there! Menacingly!  _

Creepy ass murder twig. 

“I got ADD, I think better when I’m movin’,” I answered, glancing at him.

Tech perked up. “You have an attention disorder?”

“Yeah, movin’ and visual stimulation helps me concentrate.” 

“Told ya exercisin’ helps me!” Wrecker said triumphantly, grinning at Tech. 

“I never implied it didn’t! I merely asked you not to use  _ my _ equipment as weights!” Tech shot back. 

“Fellas, let her think,” Hunter called, eyes not leaving me as I paced back and forth.

I shot him a grateful look and went back to pondering. “Some rivers to cross, but there’s large enough rocks we can just rock hop. A few steeper paths, but nothing major. Ain’t no real civilizations in the mountains, so water should be clean to drink on the way. Will have to get supplies from Trevor.”

“We’ve got our own gear,” Hunter said. 

“Well then I need gear for myself. Pack some weapons too, since y’all are just a lovely beacon of trouble.”

“Thanks, Small Fry!” Wrecker laughed. 

Pointing finger guns at him, I continued pacing. “I think, if I recall correctly, it takes two days there and two days back, plus a day or so to get through the mountain itself, so three or four nights sleeping out there. Trail shelters will make that a lot easier.”

Hunter hummed thoughtfully. “Any major obstacles?”

I stopped pacing and closed my eyes, tracking the route in my head. Leave the outpost, travel over a river and a mountain to the first trail shelter on the edge of a farm, over another two mountains to a second trail shelter, travel along a large canyon to a trestle bridge, follow that to an old abandoned train station by a large river, follow the tracks from there to… I frowned, memory becoming hazy.

“What is it?” Hunter asked.

“Hang on, thinkin’. It’s on the tip of my consciousness but it’s scuttling away.” I sighed. “One second. Don’t freak when you see this.”

“See what?” Tech asked nervously. “What are you about to do?” 

“You’d better not do any weird  _ jetii _ shit,” Crosshair spat.

“Not a Jedi, and wait for it…” I sighed, holding up a hand.  _ Info dump? Hello? I need the rest of the- _

Another wave of information slammed into my head, making me stumble back against the wall. I heard the men yell something and the tremble of the ship beneath me told me Wrecker had jumped up, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying through a wave of images.

Rusty tracks, long since abandoned and overgrown with weeds. Abandoned tools, left out to the mercy of the elements. A gaping black hole stretching far over my head, blocked by a wire fence topped with razor sharp barbed wire and locked shut with heavy chains. Cool, moist air flowed like an invisible river from the darkness, washing over me and leaving behind a chill. Deeper into the tunnel, past the barricades, the rusty tracks continued as rocky walls drew closer and closer. Twisting, turning, going deeper still into the heart of the mountain. Trestles bridging the gap above an unfathomably deep chasm. Sharp scent of wet rock and the heavy smell of mold filled my nose. Utter, crushing silence broken only by the occasional clatter of pebbles and water rushing somewhere in the inescapable darkness, carving out the rock as it went along its way.

_ Mineshafts _ !

The word blazed in my mind and my eyes snapped back open. Tech had shoved his helmet on at some point, his visor down as he stared at me. Various words and colors flashed across the display, and while I didn’t know what they meant I had a feeling they weren’t good.

Panting, I gripped my head and groaned, “ _ Fuck _ , I hate that part.”

“What the heck was that?!” Wrecker yelled, making me wince.

“Voice down, big guy. Major headache.”

“ _ Headache _ ?” Tech yelped. “What did you  _ do _ ? Your vitals are all over the place! Your heart rate shot up before nearly stopping completely! You should be dead! How are you still alive? Why did that happen? Does this always happen when you think?”

_ I can’t play twenty questions right now, Techy _ . “My brain already feels like it nearly got torn in two, please don’t rapid fire at me right now,” I hissed. Letting my head thump against the wall, I tried to steady my breathing. “Oh, do I need a nap.” I winced as another flash of pain stabbed my head. “Or maybe even a light coma.”

“Aw, does sweetheart’s head hurt?” Crosshair taunted.

“Keep diggin’ at me and I won’t be the only one in pain, Twiggs,” I growled at the sniper.

“You don’t scare me.”

“And that’s your first mistake.” I groaned, closing my eyes again.  _ Breathe. Breathe.  _ At one point, I clamped my hand over my mouth as a wave of intense nausea nearly evicted the contents of my stomach. If there even was anything in my stomach. Finally, I reopened my eyes. “Ok, there’s not a percussionist section of a marchin’ band in my skull anymore. To answer your… many questions, Tech, I don’t really know what happens. If I forget a location, I can call up the actual images in my head. Only issue, this happens. Sucks, but it is what it is.”

“What did you forget that could cause  _ that _ ?” Hunter barked.

“Mineshafts. Lots of tunnels and twisting tracks. Will probably have to get a map for those, tunnels are  _ not _ my cup of tea. And these go  _ deep _ .”

Did Crosshair flinch? My nose twitched as I got a smell of what I could only assume to be fear. Hunter subtly glanced back at him, worry crossing his face briefly.

_ He’s scared of tunnels? Oddly makes sense. He and Wrecker are like polar opposites, if Wrecker’s scared of heights then Crosshair would be scared of small spaces. Wait, why would I care? Do I hate Crosshair or do I feel sympathetic for him? Why do these boys gotta make me all types of confused? First my sexuality, now this?  _

“But it was an old tourist attraction. So, they had to, you know, make sure it was as safe as it could be. Otherwise I wouldn’t dare step foot down there, I’m claustrophobic.” I looked back at Hunter. “It’s blocked, locked I think, but Wrecker can take care of that I’m sure.” I flashed a grin at the scarred clone.

That seemed to brighten his mood and he grinned. “Oh, I can definitely take care of that!” he boasted.

I looked at Tech. The nerd still looked disturbed by my episode, eyes a bit wider than normal. “Tech, seriously, my vitals may have gone wonky but I’m fine.” I pushed myself up, leaning back against the wall. “I’ve been hit by a speeder, remember?”

Wrecker’s eyes went wide. “You’ve been hit by a speeder!?”

“And yeeted about ten meters through the air into the side of a buildin’.” I scratched the back of my head. “I’ve had some adventures…”

“Yeeted?” Wrecker asked, head cocking to the side.

I froze, eyes going wide. “I did  _ not _ mean to let that phrase slip around you…”

“Why? What does it mean?” Tech asked.

“You yell it when you throw somethin’,” I admitted, glancing to Wrecker.

The large grin across his face struck terror into my core. “ _ Yeet _ ,” he repeated, no doubt savoring it. “I like that word!”

I groaned. “I’ve created a monster…” I looked at Hunter. “Guess I better go talk to Trevor about supplies, huh?”

“Not alone you won’t.” He blocked my path. “We’re going with you.”

“I was afraid of that…” I sighed, rubbing my temple. The after effects of the headache still lingered, a faint throbbing pain right behind my eyes. “You know, you aren’t gonna be able to keep eyes on me the entire extent of this little escapade.”

“You don’t get a say,” Crosshair growled, stepping closer to stand over me.

He was  _ way _ too close for comfort. “You’re in my personal space.”

“Get used to that, sweetheart.”

_ Tech I’ll get used to. Wrecker I’ll get used to.  _ **_Hunter_ ** _ I’ll get used to? But you? _

Squaring my shoulders, I stared him down. “I will not  _ get used to it _ . I may respect your sniper skills, but currently my level of personal respect for you is on par with my respect for Kaminoans. Threatenin’ me only results in my getting agitated, which ain’t good for anybody involved.” 

“Oh, why is that?” he asked with mock concern. 

I bared my teeth in a dark grin. “A Shadow who don’t care is a dangerous Shadow, because I don’t give a shit about what anyone says and I do whatever the hell I want.”

“Watch it, you don’t want to make an enemy out of me,” Crosshair warned, jabbing a finger towards my chest.

“If you treat me as an enemy first, then be  _ damn  _ sure I’ll return the favor,” I snorted, crossing my arms.

His eyes narrowed before he lunged at me, going for a headlock. Tech started forward, but Hunter held him back. No matter, this was simple. Reaching behind his leg, right above his thigh armor, I pinched  _ hard _ . Hot satisfaction burned through me at Crosshair’s pained yell. Taking advantage of his loosened grip, I locked his wrist against my shoulder, ducked out, placed my other hand on his elbow, twisted it downward, and took quick steps backwards. Using the arm lock to force him to his stomach on the floor, I twisted his arm to pin it against his back.

But Crosshair was far quicker than I expected. 

His knee came up and I leapt backwards to avoid it. Unfortunately, that meant he was now free to push himself up and tackle me. Rolling with it, I somehow managed to end up on top. My brief victory was abruptly cut short as Crosshair’s legs hooked over my back and trapped me. The armor pressed painfully into my sides, making me hiss through gritted teeth. 

He grabbed at my shoulders, lips twisted in a sneer as he began to press down on my pressure points. “That's your best,  _ sweetheart _ ?”

I returned his sneer with a smirk of my own. “Nah, Twiggs. This is!”

Getting my feet under me, I grabbed onto his chest armor. Muscles trembling under the strain, I slowly stood up, leaning my weight backwards as counterbalance. If I was able to lift a sensei who was over a hundred pounds heavier than me with my real-world strength, I could lift Crosshair with my augmented Alphian strength. 

Surprise flickered across his face as his back lifted off the ground, only to be replaced by a grimace when I slammed him back down. His legs’ grip around my back loosened just enough for me to slam my hand into his inner thighs, forcing them apart and freeing me.

I quickly reeled away, shaking and panting. That move definitely took the energy out of me, but I needed to make sure Crosshair  _ stayed _ down and stopped messing with me. I readied myself for a kick to his groin, but Wrecker wrapped his arms around me and held me back.

“Easy, Small Fry!” he shouted with a laugh. “Cross learned his lesson!”

I slouched in his grip, glaring at Crosshair. “Lemme kick him for good measure.”

The sniper pushed himself to his feet, looking downright murderous as he drew back a fist, but Hunter stepped between us. “ _ Enough _ .”

“He started it!” I protested, pointing at Crosshair.

“I don’t care who started it, I’m finishing it.” He looked between me and Crosshair. “We need to get along, otherwise this will be much harder for everyone involved.”

Crosshair and I shot venomous looks at each other. “Get along with that disrespectful stick?” I grumbled, crossing my arms over Wrecker’s. “You askin’ for a miracle.”

“I’m not  _ asking _ ,” Hunter barked. “You two are going to play nice and we’re going to be one big happy family for the next few days, is that clear?”

I sighed. “Yeah. Crystal…”

Hunter looked at Crosshair. “Understand, Crosshair?”

“Fine, I won’t shoot the brat.”

I rolled my eyes. “How kind.”  _ This is just gonna go swimmingly, ain’t it? _

“Good. Now,” Hunter turned his gaze to me. “Let’s go talk to your  _ friend _ .”


	12. Ch. 12 Interesting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrecker is a bean and I love him lol
> 
> Hunter is also a bean, a dangerous bean at that

“And  _ that’s _ the process of DNA replication!”

After leaving the ship, Tech fell into step beside me and asked if he could tell me about the process. Since I had told him he could explain it later, I shrugged and said “Go for it”. We walked ahead of the other three Bad Batchers who, like Tech, carried their helmets under their arms. The nerd had grown excited quickly, his enthusiasm chasing away the salt from my encounter with Crosshair and bringing a soft smile to my face. He certainly knew his stuff, for while I understood a majority of his explanation some of the finer details went straight over my head.

Nevertheless, it was interesting to hear him chatter on about it.

“Thanks for the refresher, Tech,” I said with a grin. “Some of that was new to me, but I’m always happy to learn new material. Just don’t spring a pop quiz on me.”

“ _ Some _ of that was new?” Hunter asked, surprised. “You actually followed what he said?”

“That was the final essay on my Biology 101 class exam, of course I followed it.”

Tech asked, smiling, “That’s the exam you wore pajamas to?” 

I glanced at him. “Yep! Skeleton onesie. It was cold and rainy, plus early, and I ran out of fucks to give so I wore the damn onesie. My friends thought I was playin’ when I said I would but  _ nope _ !”

“I should have known you were a nerd,” Crosshair scoffed.

“I am a science major, Twiggs. And I’ll wear that title of nerd like a badge of honor!” I said over my shoulder.

“So, you’re one of those women who prefer a man to have all their power upstairs?”

I stopped and faced him, eyes slightly narrowed. Was he really going to bring something like that up? What did my preferences have to do with anything? But if he really wanted to go down that road, then I was game.

“Brains are a plus. But as far as instant attraction goes, muscles and humor will do it for me. I love a smart man, but I also like a guy who can kick some ass in hand to hand and joke while doing so. My last boyfriend was a black belt at the place I did martial arts.” My teeth bared in a grin. “It was always  _ hilarious _ whenever someone asked me how I met this intimidating martial artist and my tiny self could look them dead in the eye and say ‘I bruised his ribs’.” A loud laugh shook my chest and I found myself wheezing as I recalled the utter terror in people’s eyes as they looked between me and my ex.

“You bruised ribs at fourteen?” Wrecker exclaimed, jaw dropped.

“Sure did!” I managed between laughs. “My roundhouse kicks were lethal from day one. I was on my school ridin’ team for four years prior to karate, from eleven to fourteen. That builds leg muscle like you wouldn’t believe, especially after riding bareback or without stirrups.” Pulling myself together, I continued, “There’s a reason the grown men were terrified of me. My ex was the only one who would stand in front of me after a while, but even he had to stop after I reached brown belt.”

“Wait,  _ ex _ ?” Wrecker looked me up and down. “You’re single?”

_ The fuck _ ? “Aye?”

He looked at the others. “Dibs.”

_ Oh, it’s gonna be one of  _ **_those_ ** _ self inserts. Wonderful.  _ “I’m not a sandwich, nobody gets dibs, sir,” I snorted, halfway annoyed and halfway flattered. “You want my attention, gotta try harder than that.”

“Challenge accepted,” Wrecker said with a grin, winking at me.

I couldn’t help but return his grin with a sly one of my own. “And here I thought  _ Crosshair  _ was the group charmer.”

Crosshair rolled his eyes. “Wouldn’t you love that, sweetheart?”

“Oh sure,” I retorted. “My life would be complete if I got a compliment from the homicidal twig himself.”.

Hunter had been silently watching us but his eyes suddenly shifted behind me. “Tech!”

I turned and saw that the engineer no longer stood beside me. Instead, he was making his way uphill towards something I wish I had noticed earlier; a barn, small pasture, and riding ring.

Trevor hadn’t mentioned this. What species were on this planet? What’d they look like? How big were they? Did they have fur? Scales? Where they bipedal, quadrupedal? Predatory, herbivorous?

I started to follow him, only to be held back by a strong hand on my shoulder. Looking back at Hunter in confusion, I asked, “What?”

“I want to talk to you.” His hand tightened. “Alone.”

_ Aw shit _ . My ears immediately shifted backwards, to which Wrecker exclaimed, “Hey! Her ears do wiggle!” Turning a deadpan glare to him, I muttered, “Shaggy here is about to gut me and  _ that’s _ what you’re worried about?”

“ _ Shaggy _ ?” Hunter echoed. “And why do you constantly think I’m going to stab you?”

“That was a joke!” I turned my deadpan look back to Hunter. “I do that. And have you seen your hair? It’s shaggy.”

He looked me up and down for a moment before shaking his head and muttering under his breath. Turning to Wrecker and Crosshair, he said, “Go with Tech, make sure he doesn’t get into any trouble like he usually does whenever he finds a research opportunity.”

“Copy that, Sarge!” Wrecker laughed, scooping up Crosshair with one arm.

The sniper quickly caught his helmet before snarling at Wrecker, “ _ Put me down _ .”

“Not so fun on the receivin’ end of his cuddles, huh, Twiggs?” I snickered.

“Karma always comes around, brat,” Crosshair hissed. “Don’t gloat.”

“Aw, I’m sorry, sweetie,” I retorted with false sweetness. If looks could kill, I’m pretty sure the sniper would have ended my life right then and there.

“You know he’ll get you back for that later, right?” Hunter said, standing beside me.

“Oh absolutely. But then I’ll get him back, and the cycle will continue.”

“He does not play to get even,” the sergeant said, jerking his head for me to follow him. “He plays to win. And didn’t I tell you two to get along?”

“I get along with people by coming for their lives,” I snorted, lingering back a few feet as he led the way into the trees.

“You don’t come after me,” Hunter replied, a slight smirk on his face as he glanced over his shoulder to make sure I was still following.

“I can insult you if you’d like, startin’ with those weird shoulderpads.”

“Don’t even think about it,” he snorted, stopping. Turning to face me, he said, “I think you’re smart enough to know what I want to talk to you about.”

“Well I doubt it’s about how to knit a sweater,” I said uneasily, shifting my weight to my toes with my right leg ready to kick him back if need be.

“Not quite. Make this easier on the both of us and just tell me what I want to know,” Hunter said, but stayed where he was as he glanced at my leg.

_ How lovely that we both know exactly what he’s talking about… _

“Not sure I want to,” I retorted.

His gaze sharpened, eyes slightly narrowing. Great, he was doing that Soul Stare again. I hated it when he did that. The skull tattoo on the left side of his face really upped the intimidation factor, as did the fact he stood about a head taller than me.

“Stop that Soul Stare shit, it makes me feel funny,” I grumbled.

“I’ll stop when you spill it.”

“And get my guts spilled? No thanks,” I shot back, tense.

He exhaled slowly through his nose, shaking his head. “I’m not going to stab you, or turn on you, just because you’re the same species as those invaders.”

I quickly said, “I can tell you right here and now that I have no desire to side with anyone who treats someone like a slave. I’m not aligned with them at all.”

“I didn’t think you were,” Hunter said. “Or I would have given the order for the fellas to restrain you.”

“Well… uh thanks?”

Hunter nodded and extended his hand. “And I give you my word they won’t attack you when they learn your species either.”

I squinted at it. “Not sure I wanna touch that. Last time I shook your hand you ended up sittin’ on me,” I remarked dryly, poking at his fingers. 

He raised an eyebrow. “Then why get your hand close enough for me to grab?” His hand jerked and locked onto my wrist. 

“Simple, Shaggy,” I said, turning my wrist to look at my palm before pushing my arm out to the side, breaking his grip. “I can do that if you grab my wrist.”

He looked from his hand to me and a faint smile crept across his face. “Soft style, huh?”

I shrugged. “It’s my fave.”

“Hmm. But I did mean it. The others won’t attack you. Wrecker and Tech have taken a liking to you already,” he commented, dropping his hand back to his side. 

“Couldn’t tell,” I snorted, a faint smile of my own on my face. 

“What? Here I thought you were clever.”

“Oh, you wound me, Sarge!” I gasped in mock offense, putting a hand to my chest. 

“Ha.”

My grin returned before I sighed. “Alright. I’ll give you some insight into my species since that’s why you dragged me out here.”

“Maybe you are clever.”

“Hardy har. We’re a warrior species called Alphians, hailin’ from a planet called Kelusia in the Stone’s Throw star system. We are so invincible and powerful because that’s how our species was created to be. We aren’t natural.”

“Alphian,” he repeated slowly, testing the word. “A warrior species, huh?” He looked me up and down. “That explains your tenacity and ferocity in battle, especially when cornered.”

“Oh that’s just me being stubborn,” I laughed. “That wasn’t me bein’ an Alphian, that was me bein’ Shadow.” 

“Wait, if you can shapeshift and use an element… then why the hells didn’t you use one of those powers to escape us?”

“Definitely would have made it much quicker. But also much more dangerous. You’d be  _ much _ meaner in your methods to catch me. I’ve seen what y’all can do. Not to mention the damage I’d do to y’all.” 

“What all can you do?” Hunter asked. To my surprise, he seemed genuinely curious.

“I can shapeshift into certain animals, control an element, am stronger pound for pound than a human of my size, and there’s also this little doo-dad.” Tensing my arm, I flicked my right hand backwards. A thin, six-inch blade shot out of the magical sheathe on my wrist, glinting in the low light. 

Brown eyes went wide as Hunter muttered in  _ Mando’a _ and grabbed my arm. 

Quickly, I yelped, “It does not come out! Don’t try to pull it!”

Hunter thankfully heeded my words, instead running a thumb along the edge of the blade. “It’s sharp.”

“Well, yeah. That’s the  _ point _ .” I relaxed my arm and jerked my wrist forward, sheathing the blade back.

“Where does it even go? You have no gauntlet,” he said, frowning as he let go of my arm. 

“Magic. Seriously, shit’s everywhere on Kelusia.” I laughed softly. “You know, Tech would probably  _ love _ it there. Given the wacky nonsense magic can cause, he’d have a damn field day loggin’ stuff about it.”

“He’ll certainly get a chance,” Hunter said, “Because you’re going to take us to this planet.”

“Er… I don’t know how to get there.”

He seemed to think about that for a moment. “How’d you get  _ here _ ?”

“Portals. Recall what I said about magic? The entire star system of Stone’s Throw is linked by them, or more specifically through something called the Network.”  _ What a fucked up little labyrinth that is. _ “I can’t get a ship there, I don’t know the coordinates.”

“Alright, where’s this portal?”

A sudden wave of information slammed into me again. It was only a singular image, but the force of the powerful explosion ripping apart the mountain before my eyes was enough to knock me off my feet even here. Hitting the leaf strewn ground with a thud, I gripped my head. “For fuck’s sake, can’t get a moment of peace in this house. If this is the price of knowledge, I’ll stay stupid.”

“You need to stop doing that,” Hunter groaned, kneeling beside me.

“Because I do this shit voluntarily,” I grumbled. “But I have an answer for you. Can’t use the portal.”

“Why?”

“Eh… it blew up. We gotta go to the Vault. Looks like you lovely Batchers are stuck with me longer.”

“And here I was getting my hopes up.”

I squinted at him, but a dry grin had spread across his face. I gave him a lopsided frown in return. “Hilarious. You Bad Batchers are something else in person.”

“How much do you know about us? People in the GAR hardly know us. And you aren’t even military.”

How would I ever explain ‘ _ Yo, I’m a fandom hopper and the shit you and your brothers went through was done on purpose and oh hey by the way all the risks you take are utterly useless in the grand scheme _ ’? Immediately I decided to never tell him about that. Explanation issues aside, what better way to make someone feel utterly helpless than tell them that all their hard work, all their sacrifices, were in vain?

_ Self inserts are supposed to be happy, damnit. Where is my happy? I want a refund _ .

“Er… I’ve seen videos. Plan 82, Shockwave, is pretty cool especially how you use your unique traits to carry it out. Great teamwork! Y’all really are impressive, more so in person of course but you know how that goes. I know Wrecker has super strength and a bad habit of throwing people, Tech is a whiz kid who will spout random trivia, Crosshair can nail a target from 10 clicks and is soft as sandpaper, and you’re basically a human shark with your electromagnetic sensing abilities and you are kick ass with that knife.” I pointed to the blade on his arm before laughing. “Not gonna lie, thought meeting Clone Force 99 would be pretty cool. But I didn’t want to meet y’all while I was a target! Definitely not ideal.” 

The man looked over me for a few moments, face unreadable. “You are one interesting woman,” Hunter remarked thoughtfully after a few moments.

I tilted my head to the side slightly. “That a compliment?”

“Haven’t decided yet. But it might be.”

“Don’t give me those often. They make me short circuit,” I chuckled.

A smile ghosted Hunter’s lips. “I’ll remember that.”

“ _ Alphian! Are you alright _ ?”

I sighed at the sound of someone new. “I’m fine. Thanks for…”

The air froze in my lungs when I found myself staring at not a human, but one of my original species. A small feline the size and overall shape of a Maine Coon but with the tail and feet of a lemur; a tacrumel. Lemur Cat backwards. Dark stripes sliced through a cream pelt like shadows cast by trees on a forest floor and splashes of white fur marked its chest, paws, and muzzle while bright green eyes looked me up and down.

“Askin’…” Swallowing, I glanced at Hunter.

He looked from the tacrumel to me, back to the tacrumel, then back to me. “Did you… understand that animal?”

“Er… yeah. It’s a tacrumel, they’re Kelusian. Must have come through the portal before the minor fireworks mishap. Alphians can talk with the native animals on our planet.”

“ _ This clone has nice head fur _ .”

I couldn’t help but crack up laughing.

Hunter looked down at the tacrumel, which had made its way over and now stood beside the commando pushing its head into his hand in a demand for pets. “What’d it say?” he asked, patting it on the head.

“Said you had nice head fur,” I replied, eyes shifting to his hair. Seriously,  _ how _ did it stay that fluffy inside the helmet?

“And you agree?”

“I can recognize when someone has nice hair, sergeant. I’m only half blind,” I snorted as I got to my feet. I looked down at the tacrumel as it trotted over to me. Stopping at my feet, it stood on its hind legs and reached towards me.

“ _ Up _ .”

I rolled my eyes and scooped the large feline into my arms. Grunting as I tried to adjust the heavy animal, I managed to cradle the tacrumel on its back. “You’re a heavy bean.”

“Bean?” Hunter asked.

“I call animals beans. I call people beans too. I know many murderous beans.” I snickered, recalling how mad Allan got the one time I called him that to his face. “It is hilarious to call dangerous people that and watch them flip out.”

He seemed to know exactly what I was thinking. “Don’t you dare,” he warned, turning back to the barn. “Let’s get back to the others.”

“ _ Hey, you found another stabby individual for a friend _ !” the tacrumel chirped, hand-like paws flopped in the air as he curled his silky soft prehensile tail around my forearm.

“What’d it say now?”

“That you’re a stabby individual,” I translated as I fell into step beside him.

He chuckled. “True, I suppose.”

I scoffed good-naturedly. “You  _ suppose _ ? And I  _ suppose _ that thing on your forearm is decorative.”

“Says the one who owns a big machete,” Hunter shot back as we entered the barn.

“Fair.” I looked around the barn and immediately my eyes went to the creatures.

The name Hillguides flickered across my mind. Roughly the size of a Belgian Draft, the beasts were stocky with dark bay fur, a pale underbelly, dark zebra stripes, and a spiky mane running down the nape of their neck from the crown of their head to their shoulders. While the overall shape of the skull resembled a moose, as did the large antlers, a boxy muzzle closer to a bear no doubt hid some sharp teeth within. Nevertheless, I could tell by the eyes, which were oriented on the sides of their heads, I was dealing with prey animals. Which meant the predators were sure to be something nasty.

Crosshair had perched himself atop a stack of hay bales, reinforcing my pigeon theory as he leaned back against the wall watching his brothers with a sharp eye and a toothpick between his teeth. His rifle rested across his lap, but overall he appeared relaxed. Until he saw me, at least. “Kitten.”

I returned his lovely greeting. “Cactus.”

He chuckled. “Need to do better than that.”

“No, that insult stays. Because I’ve met some pricks in my day but you’re a damn cactus,” I retorted. 

Wrecker stood by one of the large mounts patting its nose, a smile on his face that about near melted my heart. Such a big softy. Oh man I was a  _ goner _ within the next few days.  _ And _ he already planned to flirt with me. Yep, this was definitely gonna be one of  _ those _ fics. 

A shaggy tail wagged back and forth behind the Hillguide as it leaned into the large clone’s touch.

I was not at  _ all _ happy when I recognized Jealousy creeping up inside of me. 

_ You snapped at Wrecker when he tried to pet your hair, now you’re  _ **_jealous_ ** _? Really? _

_ I am a touch starved disaster with more salt than is good for me. Piss off and let me dream _ .

Tech, meanwhile, crouched by one of the tracks in the dirt. Seeing me, he perked up and a smile spread across his face. “Shadow! Can you tell me what animal made this track so I can add it to my database? I already checked the creatures, it doesn’t match.”

A glance at the beasts’ feet showed hooves similar to a moose as well, so I walked over to stand beside Tech. Looking at the tacrumel in my hands, I called, “Hey, Wrecker.” When the giant turned to look at me, I gestured for him to take the tacrumel. He stared at me with slight shock before the tacrumel squirmed out of my arms and onto Wrecker’s shoulder. Trying not to laugh at the stunned look on the clone’s face, I crouched beside Tech and peered at the track. “It’s fresh, the dirt is pressed down clearly. Feline too, notice how the claw imprints don’t show?”

Hunter crouched and pointed at a faint imprint on the outer edge. “Was it hurt?”

“I’m good, but not that good.” I studied the track closer, namely the faint imprint.

“But, if it was predatory,” Tech began. “Surely these creatures would be agitated. They look calm. If a predator was in here, wouldn’t it have eaten them?”

“ _ Rushing River would never eat his stable mates _ !” the tacrumel hissed indignantly from where it had wedged itself in Wrecker’s neck armor like a strange scarf.

I looked up. Rushing River? That sounded like a Kelusine name. Another one of my original species, the cat the Alphian in the video turned into. Massive apex predators, they heavily resembled the extinct smilodons of earth aside from mane growth, shorter saber teeth, and… I peered closer at the pad. Yep, that faint imprint was of the thumb-like appendage located where their dew claw should be. A Kelusine… I was dealing with a Kelusine.

A small influx of information flowed into my brain. Not image heavy, this one only gave me a mild headache. A large, saber-toothed feline with dark grey fur blazed in my mind, Forester subspecies judging by the broad muzzle and sturdy yet sleek tail. A laid-back individual, he oversaw the barn at night and made sure the mounts stayed in and predators out. Older, pushing 120 years, he preferred to lounge around in the sun.

Crosshair snapped his rifle into place in a single fluid motion and pointed it at the barn doors. “Not one step further, beast.”

_ Oh dear _ .


	13. Ch. 13 But Why Tho? The Sequel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me being the crazy cat girl in elementary school? It's more likely than you think.
> 
> I'm also gonna kill Hunter

I jerked my head around. Rushing River, his muzzle stained with blood, stood in the doorway, not moving as his golden eyes stared at Crosshair. He stood relaxed, the slight bristle of fur along his shoulders and his twitching tail tip the only sign of agitation. “Easy, son. Point that thing somewhere else. I haven’t reached a century and a half only to be shot in my own barn.”

Tech jumped up. “Did he just speak?” he exclaimed, looking to me in surprise.

Rushing River huffed, a low rumble that resonated with my chest and I understood to be a kelusine laugh. “What’s wrong? Never seen a kelusine before?” he purred, stretching and showing his fearsome claws that had to be as long as my fingers.

I stood up. “Rushing River!” I walked over and rubbed heads with the big cat in greeting, feeling a purr in my throat.

Returning the friendly gesture with a low chuffing noise, he hooked a massive paw gently around my leg and tugged. Allowing myself to fall back, I was surprised how natural it all felt. Must have been the feline genes within me, that Alphian coursing through me. Guiding my movements as I greeted the kelusine, connecting me to him in ways a regular human never could. I found I didn’t mind the smell of blood on his muzzle, nor did I mind when that blood stained my shirt and face as he continued to rub his massive head against me. Low groaning sounded from his throat as his enormous paws braced on either side of my hips, reminding me of lions I’d seen greet other members of their pride. I mimicked him, groaning low myself, burying my fingers into his thick mane and scratching in a circular pattern. He laid down, resting his giant head on me, covering my entire torso as his whiskers tickled my face.

Oh, the boys were definitely staring at me now. Hunter’s eyes looked like they were about to leap out of his head, Wrecker’s mouth hung open, and Tech was tapping away at his vambrace as he no doubt recorded the sounds. Only Crosshair didn’t look shocked, although I could see that his rifle had lowered, if only slightly.

I winced as Rushing River’s saber teeth poked me. “Easy with the rubbin’, I can feel those teeth of yours!”

He huffed again, the low sound shaking my very bones, before settling back on his haunches and staring down at me. “Gee, Shads, what in the Depths happened to you?”

Propping myself up on my elbows, I looked down at my body which was still covered in grass, sweat, and dirt, plus the blood of whatever Rushing River had killed. “Oh, had a…  _ fun _ game of tag with some commandos.” I jerked my head at the men. “Although this blood certainly isn’t mine, you just eat?”

“Yeah, had a successful hunt. And pretty rough game of tag,” he remarked, eyes slightly narrowing at the men before he huffed again and looked down at me. “Although you do like to play rough.”

I shrugged. “Makes it fun.”

Wrecker looked fascinated at the large predator. “A talking kitty!”

“A  _ big _ talking kitty,” Hunter commented, shifting in front of his brothers and drawing his knife.

“Hey!” I protested, scooting back and pushing myself to my feet before brushing off some fur. My hands came away red. “Sure, he’s big enough to look me in the eye without lifting his head, but he’s not hostile.” I looked back at the kelusine. “Rush, I’m fine. We’re all good now.”

“You don’t smell of fear so I’ll take your word for it.” He glanced at Tech as the man approached and started looking him over. The kelusine swished his tail, whiskers twitching in amusement as he watched Tech circle him. “Curious fella.”

“He likes studyin’ new things,” I explained, stepping back to give Tech room.

“Oh?” Rushing River asked, ear twitching to ward off a fly. “In that case, as long as you don’t poke me in the eyes or stick your fingers in my nose, have at it.”

Tech perked up and went to work making notes about the kelusine, stepping closer. 

“Tech, get away from that beast,” Crosshair hissed.

“Relax, twitchy trigger,” Rushing River snorted. He lifted his heavy paw to aid Tech as the Bad Batcher inspected his thumb-like dew claw. “If I was gonna eat any of ya, I’d want somethin’ with more meat. Like him.” He flicked his tail at Wrecker.

Wrecker seemed offended. “Hey!”

A warm feeling spread through my chest as I watched Tech.  _ Look at that cute little nerd go _ . I mentally smacked myself.  _ No romance. Forbidden. Do not fall for Tech _ . But why did he have to make it so damn hard?

Him and Wrecker! Hell, even the “gruff” sergeant Hunter was causing issues. “Gruff” my left foot, he was just showing off in front of Cody’s brothers to seem cool. During an intense mission he probably was stricter but when he wasn’t being shot at?

_ Hellfire…. _

“Why didn’t I bring my sketch pad?” Tech complained, peering at Rushing River’s saber teeth. The Kelusine opened his mouth wide, a disturbing 120 degrees, allowing a gleeful Tech to look inside. Completely ignoring the blood and bits of meat left over from the kelusine’s meal, Tech peered at the arsenal of teeth hidden within. “Such sharp teeth! The carnassial teeth seem to be blunter than normal, suggesting a partially omnivorous diet, but the anterior teeth and canines are good for slicing and tearing,” he noted excitedly, voice slightly echoing. 

Rushing River shot me an amused look.

“Do you have to stick your head in its mouth to figure that out?” Hunter groaned, shaking his head tiredly. He sheathed his knife.

Tech pulled his head from Rushing River’s mouth and looked back at me. “What species is this?”

“Oh, that’s a Forester Kelusine. They’re a native of a planet called Kelusia. There’s four other subspecies. Wastelanders, Mountaineers, Plainers, and Islanders. All apex hunters. They dominate nearly every niche they live in.”

“Are they all this big?” Tech asked, curious as he stepped back beside me to get a better view of Rushing River’s size.

“Wastelanders look Wrecker in the eye.”

Wrecker’s mouth fell open. “That is a  _ big _ cat!”

I grinned. “Oh yeah. They make great mounts.”

“Mounts?” Tech echoed, looking Rushing River over again.

The big feline caught my gaze again, twitched his whiskers, and knelt down. “Climb up.”

Tech practically launched himself at the big cat. Swinging a leg over the kelusine’s back behind his shoulder blades, the clone gripped the coarse mane as Rushing River slowly stood up. Wiggling into a comfortable position, Tech then let go and began to type away at his forearm. “Interesting!”

I glanced at Hunter. The poor sergeant looked close to a migraine. “You alright there, Hunter?”

“Fine,” he sighed.

Rushing River looked over to me as Tech took a glove off and felt his fur. “So, who’s your friends, Shad?”

_ Friends _ ? “Not sure they consider themselves my friends.”

Crosshair, unsurprisingly, agreed. “We don’t.”

“I do!” Wrecker announced, nudging me with a large grin. “I like her, she’s fierce!” 

“Why thank you, Wrecker. I try!” I laughed, playfully punching his arm and just hoping he didn’t do it back and send me across the barn.

“She’s amusing, at least,” Hunter commented.

I shot him a look. “‘Course I’m amusin’, Sarge. My entire life’s a joke.”

He looked to be fighting down a smile. 

“I like her so far as well,” Tech added before introducing himself. “I’m Tech, the brains of the squad.”

Rushing River looked over his shoulder at Tech. “You’re different lookin’ clone troopers, aren’t you?”

“You got a problem with that?” Crosshair growled, gesturing with his rifle.

The Kelusine twitched his ear and flicked his tail. “Me? I don’t have a problem with much of anything anymore. I don’t worry about things I can’t do something about.” Golden eyes looked Crosshair up and down. “And what’s your name? Moody?”

I stifled a snort.

“It’s Crosshair,  _ cat _ .”

“Hmm, always got someone in your sights to shoot down with words, do you?” Rushing River mused before eyes turned towards Hunter. “I take it you’re their leader.”

“That’s Sergeant Hunter,” I said. “He’s the calmest of the lot.”

Rushing River turned his gaze to me and twitched his whiskers. “An officer, Shad? Gettin’ ambitious.” His teeth bared in a mischievous kelusine grin.

_ He did  _ **_not_ ** _! _

“What?!” I squeaked, turning red as I frantically waved my hands. “That’s not… they’re not… no!”

“Weren’t you complainin’ the other day you were single and touch starved?” the Kelusine asked, barely holding back a laugh.

“I was not!” I yelled, trying to ignore Crosshair’s snickering and Wrecker’s laughing.

“Shads, it’s ok to admit you have a thing for military guys.”

“I don’t-!” I threw my hands up. “Why me?!” I screamed at the rafters and cobwebs. “Why couldn’t I have been born as a toothbrush? All I wanna do is write my stories, play video games, and be a nerd in the safety of my room! Maybe occasionally go outside or chill in a cardboard box! Throw a knife or two! But  _ no _ ! I keep gettin’ dragged into shenanigans with armed heathens!”

“Heathens?”

“Toothbrush?”

“Cardboard box?”

I glared at the men. “I hate the lot of you.”

Wrecker bumped me with his arm. “Ha! No ya don’t!”

“Don’t call me out!” I protested. “Let me be dramatic for a bit!”

“So…” Rushing River began. “You don’t like using Kindness or Truth to set off tannerite anymore? Pity, that last time you made a pretty big bang.”

“Leave my rifles and destructive tendencies out of this!” I said, pointing accusingly at him.

“You like to blow stuff up too?” Wrecker exclaimed. “I like you even more now! Hunter, can we keep her?”

“Absolutely not,” Hunter, Crosshair, and I all answered in unison.

“Aww…”

I groaned and pinched the bridge of my nose. Looking back at Hunter, I growled, “You know, actually you were right! We shouldn’t have stopped here.”

He shrugged. “I’d say it was rather… informative.” A smirk hid behind his words.

“Informative, you say? I can  _ inform _ you of exactly where I’d like to shove my foot!”

“Easy there,  _ verd’ika _ ,” he chuckled, raising a hand in mock surrender.

“ _ Verd’ika _ ? More like  _ haran’ika _ ,” Crosshair snorted.

_ Hold on just a cotton-pickin minute.  _ “Did you just call me ‘Little Hell’?” A grin split my face. “Why, Crosshair, that’s a splendid nickname! Thank you, I feel so touched!” I raised my right hand. “I do so solemnly swear to uphold that title and make your wakin’ hours a nightmare for the next five days.” Saluting him, I promised, “I won’t let you down, sir!”

My reaction seemed to take the sniper aback. He must have expected something more akin to annoyance rather than elation. “That was no compliment,” Crosshair said, sounding almost like he was sputtering to get the words out.

“Well I took it as one!” I cackled, giving him a crazed grin.

Wrecker laughed. “Guess Small Fry is out!  _ Haran’ika _ it is!” 

“Certainly describes her!” Rushing River laughed, shaking his broad head. “I pity the poor soul who  _ really _ pisses her off.”

“Oh, c’mon. I’m harmless and sweet!” I purred, baring my teeth in a devious grin.

“Yeah, as a rattlesnake! I know better than to tread on you!”

Catching the reference, I shot finger guns at him.

“How do you know so much about an off-world species?” Tech asked, reaching forward and scratching Rushing River between the shoulder blades. The large carnivore chuffed happily, squinting.

“Oh… you could say I know quite a bit about their homeworld, Kelusia.”

_ A bit? Bitch, you created the damn planet! _

I rubbed the back of my neck. “It can get a bit… hectic on that planet.”

“Hectic how?”

“You’re just a little sponge for knowledge, ain’tcha Tech?” I teased. “Let’s just say Kelusia and the other planets in the Stone’s Throw system are… unique.”

Tech seemed very interested now. “What makes them unique?”

“Magic!” At Tech’s look of confusion, I chuckled. “No, literally. They’ve got magic in their planetary cores and it can leak through the different layers. Causes all sorts of wonky nonsense, from jungle biomes within arctic circles to portals connectin’ different planets throughout Stone’s Throw.”

“Jungles in arctic biomes?” Tech exclaimed.

I nodded. “Aye!”

He looked back at Hunter. The sergeant seemed to immediately know what he was thinking. “You’re in luck, Tech.  _ Haran’ika _ here is going to lead us to that very planet.”

Tech looked over at me in shock. “Wait… why?”

“Because that species y’all are tryin’ to find the weakness of comes from Kelusia.”

Crosshair snorted. “How would  _ you _ know?”

Rushing River’s fur began to bristle. “Shadow… you aren’t really going to do that, right?”

“Rush, there’s Alphians enslavin’ a planet. It’s desert, so most likely the Jekyl clan is at it again. You know how they are.”

He heaved a sigh. “Yes, but… you’d be risking your own safety!”

“Wait, she’s one of  _ them _ ?” Crosshair snarled. 

_ Well guess that answers how that is getting revealed. So much for a grand scene with insightful words and meaningful understandings.  _

Crosshair wasn’t done. “How do we know she won’t turn on us?”

“Oh, she won’t do that.” Something in Hunter’s tone made me look at the sergeant and I saw a small grin on his face that I did  _ not _ like. “Boys, our lovely guide here is a Clone Force 99 fan. Likes to research our tactics and even hoped to meet us one day. Isn’t that right?”

I was certain I was red clear up to my ears. “Hunter, I am puttin’ fire ants in your sleeping bag.”

“A fan, huh?” Wrecker laughed, throwing an arm around my shoulder. “I’m your favorite, aren’t I?”

I staggered under the weight of the armored limb. Damn, even ignoring his super strength this man had muscle mass. But I definitely had bigger issues, because oh man that question just called me  _ out _ . “I ain’t tellin’.”

“Oh, c’mon. You can tell me!” he teased.

“Nah.”

“Aw, tell us!”

“No, I don’t think I will. And you can’t make me.”

Wrecker’s teasing grin grew almost sadistic. “Oh yeah?!”

The tacrumel, sensing the oncoming storm, scrambled to its feet and launched itself off Wrecker on Hunter’s shoulders, startling the sergeant. Just in time, for Wrecker grabbed me around the waist and lifted me up. Poking my side, he playfully warned, “Better tell Wrecker or else!”

“Put me down, heathen!” I yelled, trying not to laugh. I really hated being so ticklish, but not as much as I hated this. Like what even? What did I do to deserve this mess? Why had Hunter brought it up? Why had  _ I _ told Hunter I liked the squad? Sure, Wrecker probably was my favorite but if I told him that I’d never hear the end of it.

“I will if you just tell us your favorite!” he laughed. 

“No!” The finger at my side jabbed with more force, nearly making me squeak. That would  _ not _ do. “Fine! I’ll tell you my favorite if you let me go!”

He set me down, but I immediately launched myself up into the rafters. “Didn’t say  _ when _ I would tell though!”

“Hey! No fair!” Wrecker protested, jumping up and trying to grab me.

“Hunter said y’all didn’t play fair!” I teased, confident I was safely out of his reach.

As Wrecker continued to hop and try to get a hold of me again, Crosshair snorted. “What happened to dyin’ like a man, sweetheart?”

“You offerin’ to be a sacrifice, Twiggs?” I taunted, looking between him and Wrecker’s hands.

Hunter put a hand on his hip as he looked up at me. “So much for standing your ground.”

“You don’t try to tickle me!” I yelled down at him only to yelp as Wrecker managed to grab my ankle. It was no use gripping the rafters, Wrecker was strong enough to break my grip and probably the rafters along with it. Reaching for his pressure point would be suicide, he’d just grab my wrist. Cursing as I lost my hold on the wooden beam, I plummeted straight down into Wrecker’s waiting arms. Landing on my back, my salt content shot through the roof as I realized the giant now held me in a damn bridal carry.

Crossing my arms, I scowled. “I’m straight up not havin’ a good time right now.”

Wrecker grinned down at me. “You’re really light!”

“Hey, I may be lightweight but I’ve got enough muscle on me to put up a fight!” I warned, pointing a finger at him. “Also, put me down, your armor ain’t comfy.”

“Not until you tell us who your favorite is!” he chuckled, winking at me.

“You’re insufferable, Wrecker,” I huffed, trying to ignore that now  _ two _ Bad Batcher’s summoned a swarm of butterflies to my stomach.

“Hey! Your face is going red!”

_ Yeah because I’m being held by my crush!  _ “Put me _ down _ ,” I warned through gritted teeth.

Laughter sounded from the front of the barn. “See you all are getting along great!”

I scowled. “Oh great.” My eyes turned to Trevor. “You’re back.” 


	14. Ch. 14 Square Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't :) Insult :) My :) Boys :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy a full chapter from Hunter's pov!  
> And yes, I was the weird kid and misfit when I was younger.
> 
> Also! It's a bit spoilery, but enjoy a visual of my markings!  
> https://shadowsstorystuff.tumblr.com/post/635345239487447040/it-is-hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-look-at-it

_ Looks like Shadow’s ‘plot armor’ friend is back _ .

The man set Hunter’s senses off for reasons unknown. It wasn’t just his odd demeanor, although that certainly didn’t help. No, the closer Trevor stood to Hunter, the more the clone sergeant’s electromagnetic sensitivity started acting up. When he grabbed the dark-haired man, Hunter’s very fingertips seemed to buzz with electricity.

The man was  _ weird _ . Weirder than most Hunter had run across in the six months since he and his team had left Kamino. Something about Trevor told Hunter that Shadow wasn’t the only one more dangerous than they appeared. Hunter had developed a keen eye for picking such people out from a crowd. People who came across friendly, naive, and even a bit stupid at first glance. Beneath that disguise could hide a cold-blooded killer or someone who had cheated death more times than some could even imagine facing it.

According to both Shadow and Trevor, they’d both cheated death themselves before. But not by being clever, but with  _ plot armor _ . What a ridiculous notion. In a book it made sense, but how could one say that in reference to a real-life event? Perhaps they were just making things up? Making themselves seem tougher than they actually were?

Shadow was tough, Hunter had to admit. His first impression of her had been an easily startled, nervous woman who was also a bit scatterbrained. The last type of person he wanted to be dealing with, for he’d have to constantly reassure them that no, Crosshair wasn’t going to stab them in the back and no, Wrecker would not snap their spine.

Now, he wasn’t quite sure what to think.

She’d held her own against three of them for a good length of time, using her surroundings and knowledge of the area to her advantage. If she was half animal and could shift into one, then her keeping them in an area that would enable her to fight on all fours was doubly smart. It hadn’t been easy to get a grip on her, and he knew he did not want to take a kick from her without armor. The hook kick had sent him to the ground, and she hadn’t even been able to drive her full power into that.

So yes, Shadow  _ was _ tougher than he first thought. But to survive a  _ building _ falling on her?

Granted, on one of their earlier missions they’d had to dig Wrecker out of the rubble of a ruined structure that collapsed on him as a result of the same explosion that took his eye, but that was  _ Wrecker _ . To survive the constant wear and tear on his muscles, he had an exceptional healing rate, more so than the rest of them at least. He was  _ engineered _ to be harder to hurt. 

Surely the kid hadn’t actually been hit by a speeder and sent crashing into a building which fell in on her. Maybe the entire sailor thing was a lie?

_ You saw those scars on her stomach. Those weren’t a lie. _

Yes, he’d seen them. Gotten a very good look at them. He knew knife wounds when he saw them. Those weren’t fake. Nor were they years old. They were maybe a few months at the oldest.

But when exactly had she been with sailors? She was nineteen, so she was most likely out of high school. From what Hunter understood, civilians usually graduated around seventeen or eighteen. She’d had college classes, so she hadn’t taken a break.

When did this even happen?!

_ I’ve got to ask her about that later. Some things about this woman are just not adding up _ .

“Yes, I’m back, Shads!” Trevor laughed, a wide grin on his face. He waved at Rushing River. “Rush, I see you made a friend.”

The kelusine twitched his whiskers. “He’s a cute little fella, super curious.”

Tech frowned. “I am not  _ cute _ .”

Oh, did Hunter’s little brother hate being called cute or adorable. Hunter, Crosshair, and Wrecker loved to tease him mercilessly about it. He couldn’t help it that he was the youngest of them all at only ten.

_ Huh, he’s Shadow’s age biologically. No wonder they get along so well _ .

That could lead to its own set of issues later, of course, for Hunter had already noticed Tech looking at Shadow with possibly more than simple friendship in mind. Tech hadn’t met too many women in their six-month run, at least not women that seemed to share his almost annoying thirst for knowledge, so Hunter wasn’t surprised he took an instant liking to Shadow. 

Trevor looked to Shadow. “So, Shadow! I thought you’d be happier!”

“Whatcha mean by that, bilge rat?” Shadow snorted, crossing her arms as Wrecker continued to hold her in the air. She seemed to more or less accept Wrecker’s rather physical nature, or at the very least tolerate it now.

Hunter could tell that while Wrecker was playfully flirting with her, the demolition expert also had taken a true, honest liking to the Alphian. Most women were terrified of him. But no, she shared his destructive tendencies and could match his enthusiasm and chaotic energy. Definitely tougher and  _ crazier  _ than Hunter first suspected.

Trevor’s grin was almost twisted. “Your favorite Bad Batcher has swept you off your feet!”

The look of utter yet comical horror on Shadow’s face, coupled with the triumphant look on Wrecker’s, was almost too much for Hunter and he barely withheld a laugh. Wrecker, however, had no such control and the sound of his laughter filled the barn.

“I knew it!” he sang, grin stretching ear to ear. “I knew I was your favorite,  _ haran’ika _ !”

_ Even if he didn’t like her before, he  _ **_certainly_ ** _ does now _ .

Shadow’s face dropped into a deep scowl and she looked at Hunter. “Could you kindly acquaint your knife with my chest?”

_ This woman really does have a weird sense of humor _ . “I’m not stabbing you.”

“Well, there goes my evenin’ plans.”

That brought a chuckle out of him. Hunter noticed too that a small smirk tugged at Shadow’s lips. She was playing again.

Most people they interacted with were just scared of them or worse, treated them like dirt. While Shadow had run at first, once she agreed to join up with them, she near instantly merged with the group. Matched Tech’s nerdiness, Wrecker’s cockiness, Crosshair’s snark, and Hunter’s own dry humor.

Maybe this mission wouldn’t be as bad as he first thought.

Trevor spoke up again. “Scooter said he’d seen y’all head in here. Figured I’d stop in and tell you that I went ahead and gathered the supplies for your hike up and back. I’ll get them to you in the morning.”

“How kind,” Shadow snorted, trying to worm out of Wrecker’s arms. “Put me down big guy.”

“Why would I want to let my number one fan down?” the man teased, winking at her. “Especially when they’re as pretty as you.”

“Charmin’.” Her dry comment didn’t hide the blush of red flickering across her cheeks. “If you think a half feral gremlin covered in dirt, grass, sweat, and blood is pretty, I’m curious to see what you consider unattractive.”

What had she said? Compliments made her short circuit? Maybe he’d try that, see what she did. Such an odd weakness to have. Hunter had half a mind to tell Crosshair. The sniper was sure to take advantage of any weakness, but would his desire to get under the kid’s skin be enough to make him say something nice to her?

Would be an interesting experiment.

Shadow twisted in Wrecker’s grip, grabbing onto his arm before flipping her legs out. Hanging by his arm for a moment, she dropped to the ground and stood back up. “Guess we don’t have to go to the resident building anymore.” Looking at Hunter, she said, “I’ll meet you guys back in the library tomorrow morning.”

Trevor laughed. “Oh, no need for that, Shads! The apartment next to yours is open, they can sleep there! That way y’all can meet up bright and early.”

All eyes stared at Trevor with shock.

“¿ _ Puedes repetir eso, por favor _ ?” Shadow asked, voice tight.

_ What did she just say _ ?

“I said they can stay in the apartment next to yours tonight so you guys can meet earlier in the morning!” Trevor chirped with a grin.

Lips drawn in a tight smile, Shadow said through gritted teeth, “I  _ really _ hoped I had heard you wrong.”

“What?” Wrecker laughed, shoving Shadow playfully. “Don’t want your favorites next door?”

Shooting an accusatory glare at Hunter, Shadow looked up at Wrecker and crossed her arms. “Look, usually I’d be thrilled at four-” She glanced at Crosshair where the sniper still reclined against some hay bales. “Three attractive commandos in the apartment next to mine.”

Crosshair’s eyes narrowed in a glare, teeth pressing into his toothpick.

“But this is not one of those times,” Shadow continued.

Hunter withheld a chuckle at the faint red across her face once more. Any humor vanished instantly when a mocking voice sounded at the front of the barn.

“When you said there were soldiers, Trevor, I didn’t know you meant  _ meat droids _ .”

Anger sparked through Hunter at the taunt, but he wasn’t prepared for the sheer  _ fury _ that spread quickly across Shadow’s face as she whipped around. “ _ What _ did you say?” she snarled, teeth bared.

The man at the barn doors wasn’t much taller than Trevor, shorter than Hunter, and looked to be in his late thirties. A sneer of disdain twisted his lips as he looked around at them. “And of course, it’s the misfit’s favorites. The lab rats.”

_ Misfit? _ Hunter looked at Shadow. She was an outcast in her society too, then. No wonder she took a liking to his team. They must have reminded her of herself.

A chilling growl filled the barn, and at first Hunter thought the large kelusine that Tech still sat on was responsible. But, despite the bristling fur and lashing tail, Rushing River wasn’t the one growling.

The low noise of anger rumbling in Shadow’s throat made Hunter uneasy. Sure, she was part animal, but hearing a sound that vicious from someone who, up until recently, had been playful and cocky, jarred him to say the least. 

Rage filled her eyes, her fists clenching at her sides and her shoulders trembling with barely contained hate. Jaw set, her lips drew back in a snarl. As her teeth bared, Hunter found himself staring at her canines. He’d seen them before when she grinned, but coupled with that growl emitting from her made him realize just how inhuman they were. Those fangs, combined with her intense glare and growling, made her appear downright  _ feral _ .

Yet, Hunter couldn’t help but feel confused at her sudden anger. Sure, she’d been bold and stood up to him and the others before. He was still impressed she had the guts to stare him down when she first met. That’d been his first indication that she wasn’t as twitchy as he first thought. She made it clear that she’d take nothing lying down, that she’d stand her ground against anyone.

But she hadn’t been  _ angry _ . Even when Crosshair went after her, she either deflected it or matched his snark blow for blow. Only the “kitten” comment had appeared to rub her the wrong way, but she quickly recovered and grew cocky once more. Rough play was fun to her. She was a tomboy, without a doubt. Yet despite her snark and willingness to wrestle with any of them, her rough play was just that. Play. He’d almost thought her incapable of actually getting  _ mad _ .

No. He just hadn’t hit the right buttons.

Crosshair hopped down beside Hunter, rifle at the ready, as Wrecker bristled at the man’s comment. “Lab rats?” he roared as he stepped towards the man, cracking his knuckles.

Shadow placed a hand in front of his chest. “No, Wrecker. I got this one.”

Hunter had seen that dark, borderline sadistic grin before on Crosshair. Right before the sniper stabbed a prisoner in the leg for mouthing off or punched someone at a bar. That twisted smile promised nothing but pain for the target of their anger. Seeing it on Shadow, it gave him chills especially since he now knew what she was capable of. 

Wrecker actually paused, looking down at Shadow. A grin matching hers spread across his face. “Gonna Vibe Check him?”

_ He learned that phrase fast _ .

“Oh yes.” Shadow’s fierce eyes turned back to the man. “And James  _ ain’t _ gonna pass.”

The man, James, snorted mockingly. “Ha! You can’t spar, remember?” he sneered. “Your…  _ anxiety _ holds you back. You refuse to spar because you always cry at the end!”

_ Anxiety _ ?  _ No, he’s just trying to jab at her. She can’t have anxiety. She went up against me! Against all four of us! _

But the kid didn’t deny his claim as she stalked past Tech and the kelusine. Legs stiff, once more her body language resembled an angry feline. Were she in the same form as the beasts he’d seen in the holos, Hunter had no doubt her tail would be bristling just like the kelusine’s.

_ That can’t be right. It just can’t. She’s too chaotic. Too playful. Too snarky. She can’t have anxiety! _

“I may refuse to spar,” she growled, stopping just at the door. “But I have  _ no  _ reservations against kickin’ your ass. So, you better square the fuck up because you’re about to catch these hands.”

Hunter’s heart pounded slightly harder against his ribs as anticipation trickled down his spine. What was this kid capable of?  _ Actually  _ capable of? Was she about to reveal her powers? What element did she have? What form would she shift into?

“You really think you can beat me? You’d never win in a fair fight, kitten!”

_ That’s why she doesn’t like that name. This man calls her tha- _

Hunter’s thoughts cut short as Shadow’s skin began to glow, her eyes gleaming in the dim light. He stared at the intricate, almost beautiful hazel markings flickering across her skin and shining faintly through her clothes. Shadow’s didn’t glow nearly as bright as some he’d seen on the holos, she must not have had the same level of power as older Alphians. Even so, the light her markings cast over the ground and on the barn walls fascinated him. Since the sun had set behind the large mountains and darkness had begun to fall, they were even more impressive. 

Shadow chuckled, but there was no humor in her laugh. “Good thing I don’t fight fair.”

The beasts snorted nervously and stomped their hooves, shifting in their stalls. Hunter could smell their unease. Rushing River shifted his stance, legs bracing as if he expected the earth beneath him to shake. Tail flicking side to side rapidly, his ears pinned flat against his mane.

Tech shifted on his back and leaned forward. “What is she about to do?” he asked, staring at Shadow curiously..

Rushing River chuckled, the sound tinged with a hint of nervousness. “She’s about to shake things up.”

The ground suddenly trembled beneath Hunter’s feet, causing him to quickly readjust to keep his balance.

Wrecker stumbled as well, arms flying out to steady himself. “Woah!”

Crosshair looked down in surprise as he shifted his stance. “Earth. She controls  _ earth _ .”

Snarling, Shadow brought her leg up and stomped the ground around in the direction of James. The very ground buckled in front of her foot, the shock wave racing towards James. Knocking him off his feet, Shadow then ran at James and lunged at the downed man. Shoving him to the ground hard, the two became locked in a grappling match.

Hunter quickly jogged forward, curious to see if he could tell the exact moment when her fighting style went from human to animal.

Sure enough, there it was. That strange switch. He’d seen it while cornering her in the Anthill. The way the set of her shoulders shifted forward in a strange manner, giving her more maneuverability on all fours. The way her head lowered. The way she snarled. The way she didn’t punch but instead slashed.

Unlike when she wrestled him, however, her hidden claws were not sheathed. Blood, fresh and not hers, covered her hands and speckled her face. Her teeth were fully bared as well, snapping at any exposed skin they could reach. 

James shoved himself up, trying to get the Alphian off of him. “Trevor!” he yelled as Shadow tore a gash in his arm. “Get her off!”

Trevor shook his head. “Not a chance, James. You goaded her into this!”

Crosshair came to stand next to Hunter along with Wrecker. Rushing River trotted forward to the barn entrance, Tech still atop his back. The youngest clone murmured, “She’s an amazing fighter.” 

“She’s a savage,” Crosshair muttered.

Hunter couldn’t deny that she was fighting like one. Claws slashing, teeth snapping, trying to rip and tear into any exposed flesh they could. So, this was how she fought when she felt malice. He hadn’t expected it would take someone calling his team “meat droids” to bring out this side of her.

_ She mentioned she didn’t like kaminoans… now I know why _ , Hunter thought, watching as Shadow leapt backwards off James and stood hissing at him.  _ She hates them for what they do to us clones. _

Of all the planets he expected to find clone sympathizers on, a little backwater world certainly wasn’t it. A vast majority of the galaxy saw them as James did; “meat droids”. At one time, Hunter had felt deep bitterness at this. But it hadn’t taken long for him to realize that there was nothing he could really do to change it.

They weren’t wrong, in a sense. Clones had roughly the same rights as clankers. Didn’t make it hurt any less. Hunter knew Crosshair felt the same bitterness, only he allowed it to manifest in the form of hostility and abrasiveness. Tech pretended to ignore it, burying himself in his gizmos and gadgets. Wrecker reacted much like the kid did, making his anger known right there on the spot.

Occasionally Hunter encountered someone who saw the clones as free-thinking. Who acknowledged their humanity. Who understood they weren’t just some programmed lab rat. It was far rarer than he would have liked. Rarer still did he find someone who got  _ angry _ at their treatment.

But this was perhaps the first time he’d seen someone  _ attack _ someone else for calling them “meat-droids”.

She lunged at James again, only this time she fought as Hunter himself might; hard strikes to the ribs, rolling backfist to the head, duck under a punch, roundhouse to the gut, keeping an arm against her stomach to prevent a hit there, knife hand to the groin.

As Wrecker cheered her on and Tech watched with shock, muttering something about being frightened but aroused, Hunter glanced at Crosshair. 

The sniper’s eyes were fixed on the fight, where Shadow and James had gotten to their feet and were circling each other. He said nothing, rolling his toothpick between his teeth, yet Hunter realized that behind the scowl there was a secondary emotion. A small smile tugging one corner of his mouth before disappearing. He only recognized it as a smile because he knew the sniper so well, for anyone else would have thought it a twitch. But Hunter knew better. Knew that secondary emotion.

_ Approval _ . 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cross? Something you wanna tell us?


	15. Ch. 15 I Want You To Remember This Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fourth wall breaks and insults galore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Having an anxiety trigger of hits to the head is not exactly helpful in sparring.   
> Also yes another mention of the sailors because I can.   
> Enjoy too some of my original language! 
> 
> Content Warning: Anxiety

Dead.

This sad insinuation of a man was  _ dead _ .

Teeth bared, craving the feel of skin breaking beneath a sharp bite, I stared James down as we broke apart again. Predictably, I could feel the usual tears in my eyes from the glancing blow he’d scored to my head.

Stupid.

It was so damn  _ stupid _ .

I’d been bucked off a horse multiple times in real life. Hell, that one time I got bucked off I more or less landed on my face and skid five feet though the dirt only to get back up, indignantly brush myself off, and go chasing after Bill again.

So  _ why _ did a simple glancing blow to the head bring tears to my eyes?

We’d tried so hard to work that out of me while I was on the ship. So damn hard. Small sparring sessions every day where Tom would purposefully direct soft hits to my head. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, so it all seemed to be fine. Then I’d go against Allan and sure enough I was crying again. Despite his gruff, mean exterior he’d always look like he felt bad afterwards.

That only made me feel worse.

I was _ fucking  _ sick of this damn anxiety!

James laughed at me. “I told you you always cry, kitty! Give it up before you hurt yourself!”

“The only one getting hurt will be you!” I spat back, darting in and rolling a backfist towards his head. He blocked up but left his ribs open. A swift punch sent him staggering back, leaving him exposed for a back kick. 

Coughing as he tried to catch his breath, James hacked, “You’re doing this for  _ what _ ? A bunch of rejects so dysfunctional that even an army composed of meat droids wouldn’t take them?”

The ground trembled beneath my feet again, markings flickering brighter. I raced in again with a snarl, slapping his guard down and landing a punch to his nose before darting back out. 

Blood now streaming down his face, the hate in his eyes burned brighter than ever before. “They’re nothing but drones! All clones!” he snarled. “They were created for one purpose and one purpose only. To  _ die _ !”

A fresh wave of anger seared my body, erupting in the form of a snarl as I launched myself at James again. Reaching out, I felt a tug in my shoulders and upper back as dirt from the path whipped up and blasted James in the eyes.

Trying my best to ignore Wrecker’s cheering, for he had no way of knowing that only made the anxiety attack  _ worse _ , I dashed for James and tackled him to the ground again. A sharp pain exploded in my ribs as he lashed out blindly, but it only made me madder.

Voice echoed in my head.

_ “Go for the eyes. If ‘e can’t see, ‘e can’t fight!” _ Tom.

_ “Nah, hit ‘im where it hurts! Go for ‘is cock!”  _ Neil.

_ “Doesn’t matter  _ **_where_ ** _ you go for.”  _ Allan. His characteristic dark smile flashed across my vision.  _ “Just make sure that bastard will  _ **_never_ ** _ forget your face!” _

A wicked grin split my face, twisting my lips into a feral snarl and exposing my teeth.  _ Sir, yes,  _ **_sir_ ** _! _

I wouldn’t kill James.

No.

But he sure would remember this.

Earth formed around my fingertips, creating powerful claws of stone. These would do nicely.

Gripping James’ shoulders and shoving them to the ground, I raked my claws down his back. Blood welled from the wounds, staining my hands scarlet. Slamming his head into the dirt, disorientating him, I roughly flipped him onto his back and pinned him down. I carved two symbols into his upper chest, my claws piercing through his shirt and slicing through soft flesh.

His screams were a little too pleasing to my ears.

Jumping backwards away from him, I flicked my claws and admired my handiwork.

Two Aurebesh nines trickled blood, staining his shirt. Now whenever he looked in the mirror, he’d have to look at those scars and remember the Bad Batch. Recovering from the hit to the head, James shook his head and stared down at his chest in surprise which quickly turned to anger. “You bitch!”

I laughed through the tears in my eyes, sounding vaguely psychotic as my lips twisted in a crazed grin. “Woof woof, motherfucker!”

Staggering to his feet, James started forward again, arm drawing back for a sucker punch. I lowered my head and squared my shoulders, ready to deal some more damage.

Maybe I wouldn’t be able to take the Mole Rat Reject down for what he did to the clones with his damn Order 66, but at the moment this sorry excuse of a man was the next best thing.

_ Rotation Seventeen, here we go _ !

I never got the chance.

A large burst of white-hot electricity exploded in front of us, sending us both flying backwards. I slammed into the dirt and skidded to Wrecker’s feet. Arms trembling as I pushed myself onto my hands and knees, the weight of Wrecker’s concerned hand on my back not helping, I looked to Trevor.

He stood off to the side, hand extended and pale blue markings shining bright across his body. Right, I gave him lightning for an element. “I think he got the point, Shadow,” Trevor laughed uneasily. 

“Al said it wasn’t over until the other man was out cold,” I seethed, staggering to my feet and preparing to attack James again.

“Yeah, I remember that man very well. I got my dick shot.”

“Your  _ what  _ got shot?!” Wrecker exclaimed.

“Long story,” I muttered. “I meant it when I said those sailors didn’t play. Heard the phrase ‘Fuck about and find out’? Trevor did that with the first mate who was  _ not _ a guy you wanted to piss off. Think Hunter, but taller and a  _ lot _ meaner.”

“If I ever see those sailors, I’ll kill every last one of them,” James spat.

“Good luck,” Trevor and I snorted at the same time.

I glared at Trevor. “I aim to finish this fight.”

“We aren’t on the ship anymore, Shads.”

I gasped in mock surprise. “No… ya don’t say!? Not like we’re surrounded by rollin’ hills instead of waves,” I grumbled.

“You can break this fight. You don’t have to fight until one of you is knocked out.”

“How about I do anyways?” I started towards James again.

“ _ Zazko _ !”

I jerked my head towards Trevor, freezing. That wasn’t English. But I knew exactly what that was…

_ Ragera _ . The language of my Rageryan species, which literally translated to “Angry Language”. If Alphians were the perfect synthetic, humanoid warriors, Rageryans were the perfect evolved counterpart. Known for their extremely fast healing rate, anger issues, no concept of personal space, love of an adrenaline rush, and possession of a magical power granted to them by the high Rageryan goddess Inzikuz. Like Alphians, they looked mainly human… only they were just a wee bit bigger. Alphians ranged six to seven and a half feet… Rags ranged seven to nine depending on their subspecies. 

Trevor was… half Polar if I recalled correctly, his Alphian blood coming from both the Xandal and Hyde clans. Built for colder, arboreal climates closer to the poles, the Polar Rageryans were the stronger, hardier species. Equatorials were strong compared to a human, but while they were taller they were far thinner and more agile. Equatorials relied on speed and agility, Polars relied on stamina and strength.

Since Trevor was only two years older than me, he still wasn’t too tall or muscular. But that’d change eventually.

Breathing a sigh of relief as I seemed to be listening now, Trevor’s body twitched before he curled slightly into himself, lowering his head and groaning low in his throat. I acknowledged his submissive signal with a low growl of my own as I straightened slightly. Taking a small step towards me, Trevor continued, “ _ Keio’mer _ ,  _ makaza _ .  _ Zisa karka _ .”

It took me a moment to decipher the Ragera, since I hadn’t worked on it in forever, but once I had translated, I stepped back away from James.

_ Don’t worry, you will win. The fight will return _ .

I wasn’t done with James’ ugly face just yet. I’d meet this bastard again, and fight him again. I’d really drive my point home then, one way or another.

“Insult clones again, Jamie boy, and I’ll aim for your damn throat,” I warned, reinforced claws disintegrating back into dirt. Shaking myself off with a growl, I wiped his blood off on my pants. “I want you to remember this moment. The way it could have gone.”

The markings faded from my body and I had to shift my balance quickly as my knees nearly buckled as the power high faded. 

Wrecker gripped my arm, keeping me upright. “Nice job,  _ haran’ika _ !” he yelled, a wide grin across his face.

Holding onto him to stay standing, I gave him a weak grin, “Thanks, Wrecker.” I found my footing and glared at James once more.

The bleeding man had gotten to his feet again as well, a sneer curling his lips. “You’ll regret that,” he swore. “You and your lab rat  _ friends _ .”

Wrecker released my arm and cracked his knuckles. “We look forward to it,  _ shabuir _ !”

Wait… did they think I attacked James  _ just _ for them? While I wouldn’t complain about more trust between me and these heathens, I hadn’t just done it for them. Had I been with Captain Rex’s men, the outcome would have been the same. If not worse. 

Those boys deserved the world, but at the end of the day they didn’t get so much as a word of appreciation. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t  _ fair _ .

Focusing once more on James, I snarked back, “We both know who won this round.  _ Begone _ ,  _ thot _ .”

Trevor stepped in front of James as the man rushed forward again. “ _ James _ ,” he warned, keeping the man steady despite his thrashing.

James shot me a venomous look before ripping away from Trevor. “Karma  _ will _ get you for this,  _ kitten _ ,” he swore, slinking towards the resident building. He must have come from the town and stopped here on the way. Big mistake.

I gave him the single finger salute.

Trevor watched him go then looked back at me, smile returning. “Nice job, Shads. He’ll remember that for a bit.”

“Good, that was the point.”

“No kiddin’!” he laughed. “Just make sure you’re ready when it does come back around and bite you.”

The way he said it told me that my fight was about to have a ripple effect. James would show back up, without a doubt, or there’d be some conflict I’d have to deal with directly caused by him. I’d written enough stories to know how plot devices worked. And I’d just triggered one.

“Are you alright?”

No, I’d triggered several.

I looked over to Tech, who I swore had said something about being aroused while I fought James. I’d figure out how to deal with that later. Right now, the engineer looked at me with something akin to concern in his soft brown eyes.

He looked adorable like that.

_ Enough with the falling for Tech! _

_ But he’s so cute! _

“Yeah, I’m good,” I sighed, an ache seeping into my bones as the adrenaline faded. Or whatever chemical that was. Epinephrine? Or was it norepinephrine? The fight/flight chemical, we’ll go with that. “Survived worse. Just a bit sore.”

“You’re cryin’.”

I glared at Crosshair. I wanted to say,  _ No shit. It’s called an anxiety trigger, bitch. Mention it again and I’ll drop you to your knees faster than you can say Twiggs _ , but I realized there was no malice in his eyes. Instead, a strange sort of… surely that wasn’t approval. But I could swear the twig looked mildly impressed. No, I’d just been wacked in the head a little too hard. “Bad sparrin’ matches in the past left me with an anxiety trigger that acts up when I get clocked in the head. I’m not hurt, don’t you worry your little head.”

He snorted, rolling his eyes. “Like I worry about you, sweetheart.”

“You’re still a bad liar, Twiggs,” I grumbled.

“Oh, am I?”

“Aye. Why else would you point that fact out?”

“I don’t care about you.”

I rolled my eyes. “How  _ ever _ will I sleep at night knowin’ you don’t care about me?”

“So, it’s true?” Hunter asked, an odd look in his eye as he glanced at Crosshair. “You really do have anxiety.”

“Yeah, and it’s a fuckin’ bitch especially when it invites depression over and they have a party in my head. They leave it a  _ mess _ .”

Wrecker’s voice was noticeably softer as he patted my back. “You’ve got guts to fight him even with that,  _ haran’ika _ .”

“Oh, thank spite for that. Spite and salt fuel me to do so much,” I noted with a small laugh. “Rage too.”

“So, we’ve seen,” Hunter remarked slowly, still looking at me a bit funny.

_ None of you boys are subtle, I swear _ . “You’re doin’ it again,” I commented.

He looked somewhat startled. “Doing what?”

“Your brows furrow and you slightly narrow your eyes when you think. Judgin’ by the way you’re lookin’ at me, figured you were analyzin’ me again. I know I’m a jigsaw puzzle, a confusin’ mass of rough edges and random parts, but you don’t have to look so obvious.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Yes, I am analyzing you. You’re…”

“Strange? Weird? Feral? Crazy? Off my rocker? A few fries short of a Happy Meal?” I supplied, rolling my eyes. “Sure, I’ve got some screws loose, but that makes it interestin’. Keeps people guessin’.”

“I was going to say  _ different _ .” A small smile curved his lips. “But that’s not a bad thing.”

I found that to be… oddly touching. Acceptance, almost. At least the Bad Batch seemed to enjoy my weirdness, even if a little. “Huh, thanks.” I paused. “Guess it won’t be too bad havin’ y’all next door for a night.”

“Really?!” Wrecker exclaimed happily, lifting me up in a hug.

“Ah geez, here we go again,” I grumbled, leaning away as his stubble scratched my face. I couldn’t help the small smile spreading across my face. Wrecker’s almost child-like enthusiasm was downright heartwarming.

“You know, I think you actually do enjoy hugs,” Tech chirped.

“Lower your voice, nerd,” I shot back, grabbing onto Wrecker’s arms to alleviate the pressure on my lungs. “Damn it, Wreck, you’re cuddlier than a Rageryan…”

“Rageryan?” Tech chirped, sliding off Rushing River’s back. Walking stiffly for a moment, he stopped and stretched his legs. “What’s that?”

“I’m half Rageryan,” Trevor offered.

Tech looked ready to ask another question but a loud growl from my stomach caused every head to turn my way. “Hey, I haven’t eaten in a while,” I defended.

“Why don’t you guys head to the cafeteria?” Trevor asked. “Give ‘em something fresh over army rations.”

“Fresh meat?” Wrecker asked excitedly, setting me back down.

“Yeah, big fella,” Trevor laughed. “Don’t worry, since it isn’t just Shadow and me here at this outpost it’s cooked.”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Hunter asked, glancing at me.

“Both Rageryans and Alphians can eat raw meat and drink salt water,” I explained. “We don’t just have heightened senses, stronger instincts, and a rapid healing rate. We’re survivalists in every sense. Rageryans do have a far faster healin’ rate than Alphians though, and they can also eat straight up rottin’ carrion.”

“How fast can they heal?” Tech asked, peering at Trevor curiously.

“I healed my dick in a day,” Trevor said happily.

Crosshair made a face. “I’m not quite sure I believe you that your dick was shot.”

“I can prove it! I got a scar! Here, I’ll show you-”

A unanimous chorus of “NO” put an end to that and Trevor raised his hands in surrender.

“I get it!” he laughed before winking at Rushing River and I. “Humans are so twitchy with nudity, ain’t they?”

“I think I speak for both Rush and I when I say no one wants to see your dick,” I muttered with a shake of my head.

Trevor pretended to pout. “Listen! I may be single… and lonely… and sad… but at least no one’s cheatin’ on me!”

I rolled my eyes at the quote. “Oi…”

“Shadow,” Hunter said, stepping forward. “We need to go back to hide the ship in case we were followed and send word back that we’ve gotten on track with the mission.” He paused. “Do you mind if Tech goes with you to the cafeteria while Crosshair, Wrecker, and I go back to the ship?”

_ Do I mind? That’s odd… usually he’d just order Tech with me. Attacking James really got them reevaluating me, I guess.  _ I’d have to clear that up. Didn’t want to look like a crazy fan… although honestly that was a normal fan response to people bad mouthing clones if I knew my fandom well. Either way.

“Ain’t no complaints,” I said with a shrug. “He’s the nicest, I like him best out of the lot of you armed heathens.”

“Hey…” Wrecker pouted.

_ Oh man, not the puppy eyes. Wrecker, sweetie, I’m sorry... _

“See, some people like me better than you,” Tech said, looking smug as he looked over the demolition expert.

_ Annnnnddd the butterflies are back _ . 

“But I thought  _ I _ was your favorite,  _ haran’ika _ .”

“You are.”

Tech now looked confused. “You can’t have two favorites.”

“Ha! Watch me,” I snorted.

“Come on, Wrecker,” Hunter said, heading back towards the ship.

Still pouting, Wrecker cast a hurt look my way before retrieving his helmet and following Hunter. Crosshair lingered behind for a moment, eyes narrowed as he looked over me.

I mirrored him. “Got something to say, Twiggy?”

He held my gaze before he huffed and retrieved his own helmet. Casting one last glance my way, he followed his brothers.

_ That man… is a weird man _ . I turned to Tech. “Alright, nerd. Let’s head on out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry Wrecker, sweetie. You are my fav tho, love ya big guy.


	16. Ch. 16 Trouble With A Capital T

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cross be mad lol
> 
> Content Warning: Mention of kink

Mad.

No, not mad.

That didn’t  _ begin  _ to cover it.

_ Furious _ .

That’s what he was.

Not only for allowing himself to feel even an  _ ounce  _ of respect for the brat, but for allowing  _ Hunter _ to catch it.

He was better than that!

How had that woman, that  _ infuriating  _ woman, gotten under his skin so fast like some sort of karking parasite? He’d been certain, so  _ certain _ , that they were dealing with another skittish, easily frightened coward like usual. Her first instinct had been to run like hells from them.

But then she stood up to Hunter, looked him in the eyes, and refused to help. There were times even  _ he  _ wouldn’t want to incur that stern glare his older brother was so good at. And he knew Hunter. Knew he was safe from his brother’s wrath. Knew too that his bark was worse than his bite.

The woman knew  _ of _ them, sure, but if anything, that should mean she should be more scared of them than someone who didn’t know them. She should know not to run from them, a squad that  _ never _ failed. Know it was better to cooperate with them. Know that they would catch her eventually.

Yet it had taken them an embarrassing amount of time to corner her. She’d, admittedly, done well to use the environment to her advantage. She knew the layout of that maze of bookshelves, knew how to free run and use what should be obstacles to her benefit. Not to mention they gave her an unlimited amount of projectiles to use at a moments notice. She knew there was a low tunnel that led to that strange structure in the middle of the building, a structure she knew the fast route through. A structure that would take her up and to an escape to the outside, stalling them as they tried to catch up. She knew they would have a rough time following her through that weird mound and had headed straight for it. Not weighed down by armor, she could dart in and out of tunnels, squeeze through the tighter spaces with ease, and could clear much greater distances with every jump. Not to mention she knew the ins and outs of that place.

So, she was quick and knew how to use the environment to her advantage. So what? She was small after all. Smaller people tended to be faster. That’s how Four Eyes was. Small and quick. After grappling with her, however, he understood she didn’t just rely on speed. She was  _ strong _ , especially those kicks. They’d taken both him  _ and _ Hunter down. Not to mention she lifted him clear off the floor of the  _ Marauder _ . In hand to hand, he’d struggled to keep a grip on her, resorting to using his greater size to attempt to pin her. 

Not that it had worked. She didn’t fight fair, or normal, and predicting her moves were next to impossible other than it’d probably hurt if the strike landed. Her ability to think on her feet and alter her style to combat each of them specifically hadn’t helped matters at all. 

Then there was her sharp tongue. He prided himself for his insults and sarcasm, but she matched him blow for blow. Insult for insult. No hesitation, no remorse. That cactus comment still left him stunned. She took no shit from anyone, especially him.

Crosshair was impressed, and he was  _ mad  _ about it. 

But what really…  _ astonished  _ him was her attacking James for calling them meat droid and lab rats. People didn’t defend clones like that, and certainly not them like that.

The way she went for James, the way she  _ marked _ him with their number…

She’d been ready to do far worse as well. He’d seen that look in her eyes. Known that look far too well. He himself that same look got when someone pissed him off. Her blows were guided by rage and not annoyance or self-preservation… she wasn’t just fighting to win. She was fighting to make him remember every cut and gash she gave him.

It irked him how his respect for her grew with each moment he spent around her. Why did he even  _ care _ in the first place? She was just some backwater mountain guide that they were stuck with until the mission was over.

Yet… She was a  _ fighter _ , both with her words and with her fists. She knew how to use her settings to her advantage, how to grapple, how to brawl, how to control  _ earth _ , and unlike a lot of people they had to work with, had  _ no _ issue calling him out.

Most people were scared of him. But with her…

_ Damn brat! Why couldn’t she just be like any other civilian we’ve had to deal with?! _

It would be easier, much much easier, to not have to deal with this confusion and uncertainty. Those were unfamiliar emotions for him, and he  _ hated _ them. He hated her. He hated this mission.

Sithspit, he hated everything right now.

Hunter glanced back. “You doing alright back there, Cross? You’re quieter than usual.”

Crosshair grumbled under his breath, teeth pressing hard into the toothpick. Irritation rippled through him when it broke under the pressure. Flicking it away, he reached for his pouch full of spares. “Fine.”

Hunter raised an eyebrow at him. “Are you sure?”

Crosshair glared at him. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Don’t go snapping at me, Cross,” Hunter warned, but his tone was void of bite. He then stopped and looked over him for a moment. The look in his hazel eyes spoke of bad things to come for the sniper. “I want you to catch up with Tech and Shadow.”

Crosshair gave a start. What? No, he was  _ not _ serious.

“Can’t believe she likes Tech more than me,” Wrecker whined, still pouting.

Trying to focus on that instead of the borderline panic creeping up on him, Crosshair sneered, “Grow up, Wrecker. She’s just some useless guide.”

“If she wasn’t useless, we wouldn’t be working with her,” Hunter reminded him. “Wrecker and I will meet you three back once we’ve sent the message and hidden the ship.”

Crosshair continued to stare at him, tempted to just outright refuse.

“That’s not going to be a problem, is it, Crosshair?” Hunter asked. A small grin tugged the corner of his mouth.

Rather than let Hunter see just how much that order bothered him, Crosshair turned and headed back up the hill. “No,” he spat. “I’ll keep an eye on Four Eyes and the brat.” Jaw set, he took his frustration out on his new toothpick.

_ Snap _ .

Sith karking hells…

~***~

“Why stand up for us? People don’t usually do that.”

I’d figured Tech would ask about that. I did maul a man in the process after all, which was probably an unusual reaction. Well… for them to see at least. I knew my fandom. We were all rabid animals ready to bust some skulls or rip out some throats if someone even  _ hinted _ at an insult for our boys. 

Made me proud. 

“I’d do the same for any clone squadron,” I told him. “Y’all go through enough shit without worryin’ about assholes like James.”

“Ah.” Tech sounded almost disappointed. Why?

_ Now I feel bad _ . “But… y’all I’ll admit I’m extra touchy about,” I added.

Tech looked back up at me as he walked alongside. “Why  _ us _ ? And why go so far as to attack him? Why not just tell him off like you do with Crosshair? That would have spared you the anxiety attack.”

_ Don’t remind me _ . “It’s not that I don’t think you can defend yourselves, I know you can. Especially Wrecker. It’s just…” I trailed off. How to explain all I knew about the clones? What they went through, how they were treated…

What their ultimate fate would be.

“I relate to y’all,” I mumbled. “I know my experience doesn’t match or come even close but…” I kicked a rock from my path, trying to think of something that didn’t sound crazy.

“He said you were a misfit. May I ask why?” Tech said, watching the rock tumble away.

Ah, something I could describe with ease. Self-loathing time. “Aside from my anxiety and ADD episodes, plus my bad habit of hyperfixatin’ to the point of irritation for all in my immediate vicinity? I allow my animal side to show far more than Trevor does. Wouldn’t be an issue if I were a kelusine like Rush, because then it’d be normal. But I look human.”

_ Aka I was the crazy cat girl from ages four through ten. Hell I  _ **_still_ ** _ growl at people I don’t like.  _

“I… I like your animalistic quirks. They’re interesting to observe,” Tech commented hesitantly. 

I looked at him in surprise. “Really?” That was new. Most people ran the other way, not stuck around to get a closer look. That or they skipped straight to the bullying stage. 

Tech nodded. “Once we’re in your apartment, could you show us your other forms?”

Could I? Primal was definitely out, and Alpha too probably. But Feral and Beta… those I could. “I can show you two, my Beta form and my Feral form. I can tell you right now I’m a feline type. So, I could change into Rush’s species or the tacrumel if I wanted.”

“Could you tell me more about them? The species?”

“How about after we eat, nerd?” I chuckled softly. A small frown spread across my face when Tech seemed to withdraw into himself, eyes cast downwards.  I frowned, noticing the way his shoulders seemed to curve inwards, as if shielding himself from an attack.  “ Tech? ”

He mumbled something.

“My hearin’ is good but not that good. What's wrong?” I asked, stepping a bit closer.

“Vegetarian.”

Something about the way he said it, almost like he was embarrassed, made my heart hurt. “You're a vegetarian?”

He nodded, still not meeting my eyes. 

“Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that, man.” I rested a hand on his shoulder. “I mean I can't be vegetarian, my species  _ needs  _ meat especially before we hit our growth spurt, but I ain’t judgin’ you.”

Relief spread across his face as he raised his eyes to meet mine. “You're more accepting than most,” he sighed, shoulders relaxing as the tension seeped out of him. “I try to tell people that it is better, but they never want to listen. There are numerous health benefits, such as lower blood pressure and better heart health.”

“Well anything is dangerous if you eat too much. I know some meat eaters that are healthier than some vegetarians. But hey, people can do whatever they want as long as they don’t stop me from doing what I want. That’s when I have issues with people,” I said with a shrug. “Brothers give you a hard time with it?”

“Only every day,” he replied, that cute smile on his face again. 

“You've got a nice smile,” I said before I could stop myself. My eyes went wide. Ah hell.

A faint hint of deep red flickered across his face. “Er, thank you. You have nice eyes.”

It was my turn to go red as my brain short circuited. We both stared at each other in silence, faces varying degrees of red. So… it  _ was _ going to be one of those self inserts.

_ Buckle up, buttercup. It’s either The Black Plague Part Two: WI-FI Edition or a Bad Batch Romance. Take your pick. _

Honestly… I was leaning towards a Bad Batch Romance.

“Stars, you both are giving me second hand embarrassment.” 

I bristled at Crosshair's sneer. So long as that Bad Batch Romance didn’t include Twiggs McGee. “Oh, great. You.”

“Yes, sweetheart. Me.” He stopped beside us. “I'm going with you to make sure you don't pull something and go after Tech.”

_ Go after Tech _ ? 

The gears in my head immediately started turning. If there was one thing I learned from the sailors, it was how to pick out a weakness. They were criminals after all, their jobs and sometimes their lives depended on that skill. And I'd just found Crosshair's weakness; his baby brother.

Tech may have been a terrifyingly competent soldier in his own right, but if you could take him down and hold him over Crosshair's head, the sniper would probably do anything you told him to. How would one take Tech down? He didn't have near as much armor, his upper legs and stomach exposed. Break his femur or a strong hit to the gut could take him down.

What the fuck?

That got dark.

Sadistic as I was, I'd never take advantage of that. Tech was my weakness too. One look of those adorable soft brown eyes of his and I'd just about do anything. 

Just about… 

“Cool it, Twiggy.” I crossed my arms as I glared up at the sniper. “I'd sooner choke a puppy with a rusty bike chain than hurt Tech.” 

Tech looked at me in surprise, eyes wide. “Puppy?”

I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. “You remind me of a puppy. Sweet, adorable, and slightly manipulative.”

“I am not adorable!” he protested, voice cracking. 

“Sure.” Crosshair and I glared at each other as we spoke at the same time. 

“Cactus.”

“Brat.”

I showed him a single finger.

“Hey!” Tech stressed angrily, prodding my shoulder. “For your information, I am an elite super soldier and one of the most skilled commandos in the entirety of the Grand Army of the Republic. I am a key member of the most successful clone squadrons, if not  _ the  _ most! I am  _ not _ adorable.”

_ I feel like I’ve seen this before. What’s that one Spongebob meme? The one where he’s holding a razor and is like “I… am a man”?  _ “Sorry, mate,” I said, holding up my hands in surrender. “If it's any consolation, my use of adorable is pretty broad. I've called snakes that.”

Crosshair's scowl, somehow, deepened. “How could you like those scaly vermin?”

I raised an eyebrow. “Gee, figured you'd love snakes considerin’ you are one.”

His eyes narrowed. “Watch it, brat.”

“I have a name, Twiggy,” I snorted. Was that the best he had? I did notice after James he no longer called me kitten. But now he had nothing. “If you're gonna give me a nickname, better pick something more original than ‘Brat’. I expected something more cuttin’ and wittier from the Bad Batch's sardonic sniper.”. 

“You  _ want _ me to call you names?” he asked. He looked me up and down before he gave me a smug look. “That's kinky, sweetheart.” 

I made a face. Trust Crosshair to make it sexual. “No,  _ that's _ not kinky. That's me stunned you can't come up with something better.”

“How would you know what is or isn't kinky?” Tech asked, tipping his head to the side. 

No. Nope. Nah ah. Nien. Nyet. Not here, not now. No way, no how. “Imma steer this conversation the other direction before I step on a landmine.”

“Aw, scared?” Crosshair taunted.

“No, smart,” I corrected.

“For once.” 

“Rude, you've known me all of what? Four, five hours? Don't judge me until you know me. I’ll have you thinkin’ one thing then pull a one-eighty on your ass.”

“We certainly figured that out,” Tech replied. 

“What's that supposed to mean?” I asked, a bit on edge after Crosshair's ‘kinky’ comment. Romance I was fine with, despite being horrible at it. But smut?

Nope, not goin’ there.

Blissfully and thankfully unaware of my internal crisis, Tech explained, “At first you were jumpy and even cowardly.”

My face dropped into a deadpan frown. “Hurtful.”

His eyes went wide and he quickly shook his head. “No! That's what I first thought! But then... you fought off three of us and later fought that man, James. You fight well, you're brave enough to consistently stare Hunter down, and you have no issues with Wrecker's overwhelming personality to the point of matching it. You purposefully give the wrong first impression, don't you?” Tech chirped. “So you can catch people off guard later and use their surprise to your own advantage, allowing you to win the fight.”

I held his gaze. “You really like exposin’ me, don't you?” 

Red flickered across his face and Crosshair snorted. 

_ Oh look, land mine! Did the writer write this after midnight or something? That’s the second sexual reference in this chapter. I am  _ **_not_ ** _ here for this mess.  _ “Get y'all's heads out of the gutter,” I groaned, shaking my head and picking up a brisk pace towards the building.

This… this was going to be a  _ very _ long mission…


	17. Ch. 17 Eat and Yeet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eat and Yeet. What it says on the can. 
> 
> Content Warning: Mentions of kink (damn it Crosshair)

The silence stretching between us was… awkward to say the least.

At least it  _ was _ silent though, and thankfully Tech had not pressed the… sensitive topic. I cursed myself, however, for now Crosshair knew what got under my skin and that did not bode well for me.

_ What about if Tech asks again? You know that man is inquisitive. Besides… he’s interested in the topic, clearly. _

_ Yeah, no. This isn’t a smut story. _

_ Unless… _

_ There is no ‘ _ **_unless_ ** _ ’ to be had _ .

My internal dialogue between me and my last brain cell was always an adventure. Damn lizard brain.

Tech took a breath to speak and I internally braced for whatever he was about to say. “How long have you been here?”

On second thought… I’d prefer the other topic. At least that one I could navigate without blowing myself sky high. I’d just lose a limb if I stepped on a landmine there.

“A while.”

_ Comparatively speaking _ .

“How long is a while?” the engineer asked, hoping for something a bit less vague.

My answer was less than ideal for him. “Yes.”

Crosshair sneered, “That’s not an answer, sweetheart.”

“Objection, it’s not the answer you wanted. It  _ technically _ is an answer to Tech’s question.”

While Crosshair scowled, Tech muttered, “She has a point.”

I grinned and flipped Crosshair off as we entered the building and headed towards the cafeteria.

“Shads!”

I had two seconds to brace before Scooter jumped on my back and wrapped his arms around my neck. Quickly adjusting my stance, I leaned forward to counteract his weight dragging me back. “Scooter!”

Nuzzling his head into my cheek, he grinned and wrapped his legs around my waist to hold on. “Told ya you’d be fine!”

“You’re about to not be fine, you ginger nuisance!” I retorted, teeth bared.

“You know you love me,” he teased, hugging me tighter.

“Love to yeet your ass off a cliff, sure,” I grumbled. Turning to Crosshair and a surprised looking Tech, I jerked a thumb back to indicate Scooter. “Meet Scooter, he’s an idiot.”

The ginger waved. “Howdy!”

Tech tilted his head in confusion as he peered at Scooter. “Are you not the man who refused to help her when she was running from us?”

“Oh, I knew she’d be able to handle you four!” Scooter laughed, slipping off my back. “She’s a mean one!”

“I’m not mean, I’m vicious,” I snorted, rolling my shoulders and straightening my clothes. “I’m only mean if you attack me first.”

“Yeah, otherwise you’re a big softie!” Scooter teased.

“I most certainly am not.”

“Sure, sure.” Scooter waved his hand dismissively.

“Hey! Scoot! C’mere for a sec!” Trevor called, coming inside.

Scooter nudged me with his elbow, jerked his head towards Tech, and winked before trotting over to Trevor.

“Why I outta…” I growled, glaring at the pair.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart? Don’t like bein’ called a softie?”

I turned my glare to Crosshair. “Do recall what he said. I can be very mean, Twiggy. You’re lucky I’m more concerned with food over kickin’ your beanstalk ass.”

He rolled his eyes. “Like you even could.”

“Bet,” I muttered, heading into the cafeteria. 

After a time-skip of an undetermined length, I sat at one of the five person round tables near the front of the cafeteria. There was a lack of people around, which was rather odd. Even the kitchen itself was empty. Almost as if the only people around were useful characters and the dumbass writer either didn’t think this scene through or was merely too lazy to add others.

I mean if it were me, I would have been too lazy but that was just me.

Tech sat with his helmet on the floor beside him as he chowed down on some rice and veggies while Crosshair, sitting across from me on the other side of Tech, tore into a steak. I’d picked a burrito because I hadn’t had one in a while and I had the craving for one.

But, like most things today, it was not turning out as planned. I sighed as I stared at the sauce dripping down my fingers. “You know, this burrito is a good metaphor for my life.”

Tech looked up from his rice. “How so?”

“It’s messy, falling apart at the seams, and the harder I try to fix it, the worse it gets!” I dropped it back into the plate for emphasis. It landed with a hard thud. I frowned before wiping my hands on my pants. I was going to take a shower and change the moment I got upstairs anyways, a little more damage to the pants wasn’t really a major issue.

Crosshair eyed the mess. “You always play with your food?”

“I  _ am _ half cat. And don’t you dare pretend you don’t play with your targets before you take them down. I know a fellow sadist when I see one,” I snorted, pointing a finger at him.

A dark brow slowly raised. I swore, every movement this man made was slow. Methodical.  _ Calculated _ .

_ Stop analyzing Crosshair. _

“ _ Fellow _ sadist?”

“You not see what I carved into James’ chest?” I asked, picking up my burrito and trying again. The contents spilled across my plate and I dropped the tortilla on top with a defeated sigh. “Damnit, gravity. Fuck you and everything you  _ ever _ stood for.”

“Two nines.”

I looked back up at Crosshair, once again dirtying my cargo shorts. Meeting his piercing gaze, I nodded. “Aye. I love hittin’ people where it hurts. He’ll have to remember you four whenever he looks in the mirror.”

“Guess you are a little sadist,” he said, voice almost a chuckle. His lips twisted in a half sneer. “At least when you’re not being a child.”

_ Child? Really? You ain’t more than five years my senior biologically and certainly ain’t older chronologically.  _ “Hey, I know I overreact to things. It’s usually on purpose, my spastic nature and weird humor gets a laugh out of people. It’s why some people read my stories!” I frowned. “Or at least… I think that’s why. Maybe they just read to see what sheer stupidity I come up with next.”

“ _ Yeet _ !”

Crosshair, Tech, and I ducked as a chair came flying towards us, occupant still sitting in it. He crashed to the ground behind us. Still ducking down, we all looked at each other under the table before turning our eyes to the unfortunate flier.

James. I couldn’t help but chuckle with sadistic glee at his pain.

Looking back over the table, I saw Wrecker standing a distance away. The giant had one of his madman grins on as he stood rolling his shoulders. Hunter, holding both helmets stood beside him, dark satisfaction on his face as he watched James stagger to his feet. They must have come in while I was preoccupied with my disaster of a burrito.

I met Wrecker’s eyes and couldn’t help but laugh as we got back into our seats. “You learned quick!”

He laughed. “Told ya I liked that word!”

“It suits you, big guy!” I agreed.

“If Trevor hadn’t stopped us, I would have kicked your ass,  _ kitten _ ,” James hissed, trembling as he tried to stay upright.

I rolled my eyes as I pushed out of my chair and stood up again. Turning to face the man, I sneered “Still wanna play games, Jamie? How about a little one called  _ Let’s Go to the Dog Show _ ! I put a collar on you and make you my bitch.”

“Not bad, sweetheart,” Crosshair commented.

I looked to him in surprise, brain briefly shorting out. Did he just compliment me? What was in that steak?

He noticed my shocked expression and a small smirk crept across his face as he no doubt realized what also caught me off guard; compliments.

I offered him a glare in return for his smirk.

“Shadow!” Tech yelped.

Rolling my eyes, I shoved outwards towards James, sending him flying back as he rushed at me. “Stand down, Jamie. Ain’t worth gettin’ your ass kicked again.”

James looked ready to attack me again, but Wrecker was now at my side. “C’mon,  _ shabuir _ !” he taunted, cracking his neck.

The instance was familiar to me; toughened men standing beside me while another man egged me on. The cafeteria briefly flickered away, replaced by a ship’s interior. Wrecker wasn’t on my left, it was Tom. Hunter wasn’t at my right, it was Allan. I’d been in this situation before. I’d won then, I would win again.

A low growl brought me back to the present, causing the ship to fade away much to my disappointment. I missed those guys. 

I looked over and saw Trevor walking over with a plate of food, followed closely by Scooter. I knew that growl wasn’t directed at me. Rageryan males were always subordinate to females. I may not have been Rageryan, but Trevor still seemed to defer to me as if I were one. Sure, he joked and played, but he wouldn’t dare try to seriously pull a dominance signal on me.

James, however, was neither female nor Rageryan. Therefore, he was fair game for Trevor. Narrowed pupils, slightly bared teeth, and thumbs hooked back against the side of Trevor’s hands as he stared unblinking at Jamie caused the sad excuse of a man to immediately back down.

I didn’t blame him. Trevor almost never got mad. It just wasn’t in his nature. He took everything in stride, preferring to let things roll off his back rather than dig into him. There was never any malice in his mischief. Hell, he even laughed off getting shot in the dick, simply replying with “It be like that” before healing himself. His carefree attitude and playful nature was refreshing after so many of my characters were either psychotic, traumatized beyond belief, or both.

However… when Trevor  _ did  _ get mad… you better run like hell and  _ never _ look back. Especially if you were human. I designed Rageryans with a taste for humans after all.

“Jamie,” Trevor said slowly, tone falsely sweet as sharp teeth flashed. He stopped, both feet planted firmly on the ground as his shoulders went rigid. Pupils narrowed, he continued to stare unblinking at James.

_ Yep yep that’s a Rageryan anger signal. Not dominant yet, but if Trevor ever goes that far a fire blast is not far behind. _

He’d only done that  _ once _ on the ship, and needless to say it freaked everyone out. Then he’d shifted into a Red Screamer and it was downhill from there.

I groaned low in my throat and shifted my own stance. Not for my safety, but an angry Trevor was an unpredictable Trevor. Any Rageryan had an innate unpredictability, but I designed Trevor as somewhat overpowered. He was more dangerous than your usual Ragamuffin.

An odd nickname for an apex predator species that were occasional cannibals and had a healing rate close to Deadpool, but it amused me so the nickname stayed.

Hunter glanced down at me in surprise, somewhat startled by my body language. Leaning down, he whispered, “He’s not going to set off another lightning blast, is he?”

“No, but he  _ might _ spit fire,” I mumbled just loud enough for his advanced hearing to catch.

His eyes stretched slightly wider but he didn’t comment, no doubt filing it away to ask later.

Jamie, on the other hand, must have seen Trevor do it before for he shot a glare my way and slinked off.

His near immediate submission to Trevor raised questions.

What role exactly did Trevor play here? People obviously knew and respected him. He seemed to be a leader of sorts. How long had I been here? How did James know of the sailors? Was there an ocean beyond the mountains?

It must not have been important to this damn self-insert, for I did not get hit with a wave of crippling pain from an information dump. Oh well, less information for me to deal with right now.

“Don’t worry, Shads,” Trevor said as he passed by me with Scooter in tow. “He won’t be back for a while. You’re done dealin’ with him for tonight.”

Unease trickled down my spine at the way he put emphasis on  _ tonight _ . Well, as long as I was done for tonight, then James was a problem for future me.

Trevor winked at me and continued to a table a few away from us.

I watched him go then sat back down, only to nearly be knocked out of my chair as Wrecker playfully punched my shoulder. “Nice line,  _ Haran’ika _ !”

“Glad you like that one, Wreck,” I snorted. I looked between him and Hunter. “Help yourselves to whatever you’d like in the kitchen.”

Wrecker didn’t need to be told twice and quickly jogged away, eager for some real food other than rations no doubt. Hunter set his helmet beside me on the table. “Not a lot of people here,” he remarked, glancing around.

“You’re tellin’ me,” I snorted softly, staring at my burrito carcass and trying to figure how to fix it.

“Is it always this empty?” 

“Sometimes,” I mumbled, two seconds from just using the damn plate as a shell and pouring the contents into my mouth to get it over with.

“Sometimes? That’s not a good answer.”

Still preoccupied with my mess, I retorted, “But it is an answer.”

“Are you having trouble with your dinner?”

I looked up at the amused tone and fought down a shiver at those intense brown eyes. “What gave it away?”

“That…  _ analytical  _ look on your face,” he said with a small, playful smile.

_ Hot _ .

_ Cease your antics, lizardo. _

“Analytical look huh?” I asked. “Well, sergeant, maybe you could do me a favor and grab me some utensils on your way back before I rage and flip this into someone’s face, most likely his?” I pointed to Crosshair.

Biting into a chunk of steak, he gave me an unimpressed look. I gave him a sarcastic smile in response.

“Yeah, I’ll get you one.” Hunter followed Wrecker into the kitchen.

“You throw that at me, and there’ll be trouble, sweetheart,” Crosshair growled, pointing his fork at me.

“Calm your tits, I’m not wastin’ my food on you,” I snorted. 

“Leave my tits out of this.”

“Why? You sensitive about ‘em?”

“Are you?” 

I narrowed my eyes at him. “So, been checkin’ me out, huh?”

“Not much to look at.”

“Your words have no power here,” I snorted. “I quite enjoy sleepin’ on my stomach and runnin’ without pain.”

“I’m trying to eat,” Tech mumbled, looking uncomfortable.

I glanced at the red-faced technician before looking back at Crosshair. “Fine. Temporary truce for Tech’s sake.”

Crosshair rolled his eyes at Tech. “You’re such a baby.”

“I am not!” Tech squeaked angrily.

“Yes, you are.”

“Am not!”

_ Where is Hunter _ ? I thought, watching the pair go back and forth.

“Fellas, we’re in public,” Hunter groaned, sliding into the seat next to me. “Have some maturity.”

“Don’t stop on my account, I’m amused,” I joked. Something hit me in the cheek and I jerked in surprise. Spying the chunk of steak on the table and the makeshift fork-a-pult in Crosshair’s hands, I put two and two together. Half tempted to snatch the fork from Hunter’s hand and retaliate, I stopped myself and instead picked up the chunk of steak and tossed it into my mouth.

“That was on the table! There could be a number of different germs and bacteria that you just ingested!” Tech yelped.

“I’ve eaten raw meat and some rather questionable lookin’ mush on the ship. Table food is the last thing I’m worried about,” I retorted before flipping off the sniper across from me.

“Did’ja eat rats?” Wrecker asked, voice as loud as ever as he sat down.

“Uh, no?” I replied, somewhat caught off guard by the question as I turned to Hunter. “Can I have the fork?”

He looked me over. “You’re not going to stab one of my team, are you?”

“No, I’m not a child. Unlike Anime Legs Jack over there,” I snorted, pointing at Crosshair.

Hunter rolled his eyes and handed me the fork.

“I’m no child,” Crosshair growled.

“Motherfucker, you just launched a chunk of steak at me like a grade-schooler,” I said with a dry laugh as I scooped up the meat and rearranged my burrito. Setting the fork back down, I laughed in triumph and finally started eating again.

“You know, sweetheart, you really shouldn’t be gettin’ into fights as much as you do.”

I glanced up at Crosshair. Swallowing a mouthful, I raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah?”

“You’re a bit on the small size. Could get hurt,” he sneered. “Be a shame to see you bleedin’ and broken on the ground ‘cause you bit off more than you could chew.”

I looked him up and down as I took another bite. I decided to leave him waiting for my answer and finished off my burrito.

“What’s wrong? Can’t think of anythin’ to say, sweetheart?” Crosshair taunted.

“She’s gonna get you, Cross!” Wrecker laughed as he continued to rapidly empty his plate. Damn could this boy eat.

I winked at Wrecker, acknowledging his warning. He grinned in return.

Tech looked nervous, eyeing me cautiously.

Hunter ate slower but kept his eyes on us just the same. He almost looked… excited to see what I’d spout off with next.

Well, the sailors called me Wildcard for a reason; no one knew what would come out of my mouth next. Not even me. Kept it fun.

Oh, they better be ready for this one. The longer I remained quiet, the more the men seemed to grow either anxious or excited. I knew how much suspense could make people squirm. The dread of not knowing what was coming. Not knowing what I’d pull next.

It was quite fun in my writing! I could build something up then go off on a tangent and leave readers frustrated! Even better if I changed the topic completely! Like I was about to deliver a killing blow in a story then instead started talking about picking blueberries in the summer or slipping on ice in the winter or the one time when I was going to the school science lab and walked in to find the giant bunny sitting on the windowsill roughly four feet off the ground with no obvious way he could have gotten up there. Oh, Bun Bun, you strange yet cuddly bunny.

Where was I? Oh, that’s right.

Swallowing the last bit of burrito, I smirked at Crosshair.  _ I’m about to end this man’s whole career _ . “That’s pretty big words comin’ from a stickman who looks like the bastard lovechild of a vulture and a sleep paralysis demon.”

Hunter choked on his drink and spat it back into the cup before coughing violently, looking like he was trying to hide a smile. Wrecker meanwhile fell backwards out of his chair, his roaring laughter almost enough to hurt my ears. Tech froze, a spoonful of rice halfway to his mouth as his eyes darted between me and Crosshair. The sniper’s own eyes were wide with surprise and a look I could only describe as ‘Not again’.

_ You just been bamboozled, bitch _ . I went back to eating, a smirk on my face.

It took the twig a second, but I was  _ not _ prepared for his comeback.

“Funny how such foul words can come from such pretty lips.”

Water sprayed back into my cup as I followed Hunter’s example, choking on my drink. Of  _ course _ he chose to say  _ that _ the moment I took a sip. The sergeant’s hand hesitantly patted my back, but a hoarse “Not helping!” rasped from my throat made him immediately jerk his hand back. Glaring up at Crosshair, cheeks hot as I met his smug gaze, I spat, “Fuck you.”

“That an offer,  _ sweetheart _ ?”

**_Landmine_ ** .

“Fuck this shit, I’m out. Don’t mind me, Imma just grab my stuff and leave. Excuse me, please,” I sang, pushing back from the chair and scooping my plate up.

“What’s the matter, kitty? Thought you liked it kinky?”

“Not when it concerns your skeletal ass I don’t.”

His tone held even more smugness. “Oh, so if I were someone else you would?”

I stopped and turned to face him. “The only thing that’s gonna be kinked around here is your spine when I snap you like one of your toothpicks, you popsicle stick lookin, no leg day havin’…  _ man _ I’m about to roast you!”

“Yas, queen! Drag his ass!” Trevor shouted from a few tables over while Scooter howled with laughter alongside him.

I pointed at the pair. “You two are next in line to catch these hands!” I spat before heading on into the kitchen area. I dumped my plate in the sink and headed back out, going towards my room. 

“Where are you going?” Hunter called.

“Aside from crazy? I’m going to take a shower. Trevor has the key for your temporary apartment.” I stopped. “Speakin’ of that, Trev, I locked myself out earlier. Since you got in my apartment this mornin’, I’m assumin’ you have a spare?”

“What?” he teased. “Already forgotten how to lockpick? Hobbs would be appalled.”

“I don’t feel like lock pickin’ my own damn door and  _ really _ don’t want to use percussive maintenance either,” I grumbled, crossing my arms. 

Trevor smirked, pretended to ponder on that for a second, then looked to Scooter. 

The ginger grinned and wiggled his fingers at me. “Check your pocket.”

I frowned and slapped my hand against my side. Sure enough, there was a key card there. Snatching it from my pocket, I stared at it. “How-?” I stopped. “Actually, you know what, I don’t even want to know. I’m not questionin’ it. Imma just accept it.”

“Sometimes that’s what’s best!” Trevor laughed, winking at me.

After flipping him off, I addressed the Bad Batch. “I’ll see y’all in a few.”

“Aw, didn’t mean to ruffle your fur, kitty.”

I stopped, glared at Crosshair, before flipping the plate into his face with a small telekinetic shove. Chuckling at the look of  _ rage  _ from the man and the howling laughter from Wrecker who was still on the floor, I offered a two-finger salute and trotted off. My work here was done.


	18. Ch. 18 Fascinating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tech is nerd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to find a spot to break it in half, I really did. But... well Tech is a wordy boy

Fascinating.

This woman was fascinating!

Rarely did Tech find someone who actually took an interest in what he had to say, let alone someone who could add to the conversation. And if they could… they  _ never _ went after Crosshair like Shadow did.

Tech watched her leave, a small smile tugging the corners of his mouth.

Shadow’s sheer brutality when dealing with the team’s marksman stunned and impressed him. He’d figured she was like him when he’d first met her; more interested in the pursuit of knowledge and preferring to avoid combat if she could help it. Or, at the very least, she would constantly be in fear or Crosshair and the man’s barbed tongue.

On a previous mission, their guide hadn’t been able to sleep with Crosshair near him. That nearly cost them the mission when the sleep deprived guide led them down the wrong path and into a patch of carnivorous plants. One of the few times they nearly lost their perfect success rate. Had Wrecker not managed to get free and rip the plants up by the roots, Crosshair would have spent the afterlife mad he had been killed by “an oversized flytrap”.

Crosshair scared most people, regardless of species or gender. He’d unnerved Tech himself when they first met, his face always set in an angry scowl or a downright chilling and predatory smirk. Cold and calculating, constantly analyzing every weakness he could exploit. A blessing in combat, a hindrance in negotiation. They had to work  _ with _ others at times to finish the mission. Rubbing them the wrong way wouldn’t help anything!

When Shadow had not only returned fire, but  _ matched _ Crosshair’s venom, Tech immediately knew his first impression had been wrong. This was no meek intellectual who ran from confrontation, this was a fiery, strong spirited fighter who took no shit from  _ anyone _ . Least of all someone she referred to as a “homicidal twig”, as well as a number of other things. Tech felt certain she could best Crosshair in hand to hand as well. He may have been taller than her by nearly a foot, but she was  _ vicious _ when she fought. Not to mention she fought dirty.

She was scary and  _ beautiful _ how she flowed from one move to the next. Spinning, ducking, punching, twisting, kicking. Almost as if she were dancing. Only someone with years of training and experience could move like that. Her time with the sailors no doubt aided in her combat prowess, as well as her willingness to fight.

Watching her battle that man James had been… exhilarating. He never would have suspected her to do that, for what person would fight on behalf of a bunch of rejected failures? Yet she had. She defended them. She stood up for them. She  _ fought _ for them. Seeing her wrestle with Hunter confirmed his suspicions that she was a well-trained fighter but watching her  _ truly _ fight…

In all honesty… Tech was quite grateful she was bold enough to stand up to Crosshair. Even if their verbal sparring matches grew too crude for his liking. The marksman needed someone to knock some humility into him.

“That karkin’  _ brat _ ,” Crosshair hissed, wiping his face off.

“You can’t blame her for that one,” Hunter chuckled, a small smirk on his face as he watched the parting Shadow. 

The sergeant had taken to the Alphian remarkably well, especially considering he did not like working with outside aid any more than the rest of them. Her similar sense of humor must have helped the transition, as well as the fact she didn’t seem fazed by their chaotic and intense personalities. If anything, she matched it. The fact Shadow did not hesitate to beat James senseless after insulting them no doubt raised the sergeant’s approval.

“Yeah, Cross!” Wrecker dragged himself back into his chair, body still shaking with laughter. “Told’ja she’d get ya!”

“I’ll get her back for that,” Crosshair swore angrily.

_ Perhaps, but she’ll only fire back with equal ferocity and you will be back to square one.  _ “It is your fault she did that in the first place,” Tech reminded him.

“Shut it, Shorty.”

Tech had long since grown used to the silver haired clone’s nicknames and merely rolled his eyes.

“Looks like we’ve definitely got an interesting mission ahead of us,” Hunter commented, shifting around his food with his fork before presumably finding what he was looking for. How he gained the mass he did by being a picky eater, Tech never knew. His meat and therefore protein intake no doubt helped, but even so.

“I’ll say!” Wrecker’s grin grew. “I like that woman!”

The declaration, made before, did not surprise Tech. Most women, and men, found Wrecker an overwhelming presence, his boisterous nature and loud voice either frightening or off-putting. Not Shadow, although she did flinch at his outbursts which no doubt caused mild pain given her advanced auditory senses. Aside from that, however, she got along easily with the demolition expert.

Crosshair, of course, took the statement as an opportunity to get in a jab at his batchmate. “Of course you do, you’re both morons.”

Wrecker smacked Crosshair’s shoulder. “Oh, c’mon! You like her too, don’t lie!”

“ _ Why _ would I like that disrespectful brat?”

Hunter raised an eyebrow. “Disrespectful? That’s the Jawa calling the Ewok short.”

“Yeah! She’s matchin’ ya blow for blow and you’re mad about it!” Wrecker teased, finishing off the last of his food.

Tech had to agree. Yet the engineer hadn’t missed the small smile on his brother’s face as the silver haired sniper watched Shadow fight. Despite his mutation, the marksman was being spectacularly blind if he couldn’t see his own respect for her. Even Tech could see it, and Tech’s eyes were nearly as strong as Crosshair’s!

Finishing off the rice and vegetables that Shadow had helped him find, Tech returned to his pondering. 

Alphians… why hadn’t he heard of such a species? Why hadn’t  _ anyone _ heard of them? They appeared out of nowhere, quickly overtaking the planetary defenses. After watching the few holos smuggled out, and seeing both Shadow and Trevor display their elemental powers, Tech could see how they would be able to overtake a superior force with little effort. Especially if full grown.

Tech was most curious about one ability in particular. He’d only seen a brief clip, and that had been blurry and shaky beyond belief, but he’d been able to touch up the footage just enough to see it. He didn’t believe it himself, but he could have sworn that the Alphian died… and came  _ back to life _ .

_ I must ask Shadow about that later.  _ Or would she even tell him? He felt like she would.

His eyes caught movement and Tech looked up to see Scooter and the strange man, Trevor, approaching. The Alphian-Rageryan mixed blood. Upon first meeting the man it was obvious to Tech he was no human. Unlike a human, his sclera were not the usual white but instead a diluted shade of his green iris. His teeth were too sharp, the canines larger than a human’s, and his incisors were smaller than a humans to allow for the bigger canines. Tech swore too that his premolars, only four in number, looked closer to carnassials. His pointed nails, thicker and darker than a human’s as well, suggested an affinity for more primitive fighting methods compared to a human. 

He didn’t move like one either. To the untrained eye he was sporadic and chaotic with his movements, but Tech was not untrained. Studying the man, Tech could tell he moved with the same deliberate purpose he had seen from predatory species across the galaxy. If he could eat raw meat, then that coupled with his teeth and nails left no doubt in Tech’s mind that Trevor’s species was indeed a predatory one and therefore Trevor was far more dangerous than he appeared.

Scooter took Trevor’s plate and disappeared to the kitchen with a nod towards their table.

“Whenever y’all are done,” Trevor began, smiling as usual when he stopped by their table, “I can lead y’all up and show you where you can stay for the night.”

Hunter swallowed his mouthful of food. “Why did that man back down so quickly from you?”

Sharp green eyes slowly looked over the sergeant. “Oh, don’t you worry about that, trooper,” Trevor chuckled, sharp teeth flashing in a grin.

_ Yes, his premolars are carnassials. How strange.  _

“You do not have standard premolars,” Tech commented. 

Hunter groaned, but Trevor merely grinned wider. “Yeah, you’re the curious one. And perceptive. Us Rags have a different set of teeth.” 

“You are a predatory species, correct?” 

“Correct!” Trevor laughed. 

Hunter cut Tech off before he could ask another question. “Trevor, Shadow said you can breathe fire. Is that true?”

Tech looked at Hunter in alarm.  _ That’s _ what Shadow whispered to him that caused his eyes to go wide? This man could breathe fire?! He  _ definitely  _ was more dangerous than he appeared. Did his skin light up with those strange and intricate markings like they had when he used his lightning abilities or Shadow’s skin had when she wielded earth?

Tech hoped to see her markings again, or maybe even study them if Shadow allowed him to. They were no doubt magical in their origin. All of her powers were no doubt magical. What exactly was the story behind her species? Maybe she’d tell him if he could get her alone on the trail?

Trevor laughed. “I don’t breathe fire.” Tilting back his head, he blew a small blast of bright orange flame into the air. It exploded with a small  _ whomff _ . Trevor looked back down and smirked, faint wisps of smoke curling from his mouth and nose. “I  _ spit _ fire.”

Wrecker gasped in surprise, excitement spreading across his face. “No way! Do that again!”

“Do not,” Hunter muttered, looking unnerved by the blast.

“Sorry big fella, another time,” Trevor apologized with a smile, walking away from their table towards the lift. “No rush, I’ll meet y’all up on the fourth level when you’re done!”

Tech watched him go, still stunned by the fire blast. How could a humanoid species evolve to do  _ that _ ? It was not his Alphian blood Tech knew, for his skin hadn’t lit up as it did when Alphians used their powers. Alphians, Rageryans, Kelusines, Hillguides, Tacrumels… so many new species to learn about and study yet so little time…

Once Trevor left, it didn’t take long for them to finish eating, Wrecker excitedly talking with Crosshair about Trevor’s ability while the sniper clearly wished he were anywhere else. Hunter looked deep in thought as usual, and Tech knew his mind focused either on the oddity that was Trevor or the enigma that was Shadow.

Two people, so opposite in their personalities yet obviously so close. Were they an “item”, as Wrecker called it? No, they couldn’t be. They interacted the same way Crosshair and Wrecker did; like siblings, one being grumpy and the other bouncy. It was entertaining yet they clearly respected and trusted each other. How did they meet and grow so close with such differing mannerisms?

“C’mon,” Hunter said, scooping up his helmet in one hand and his plate in the other which he had laid his empty cup in. The rest of the team followed his example, Wrecker opting to set his helmet on his head like a hat. 

Tech never understood why his brother wore his helmet in such a manner, it looked weird.

Leaving the kitchen and heading to the lift, Crosshair grumbled the moment the doors shut behind them, “I don’t trust that bastard.”

“There’s more to  _ both _ of them than we first thought. But we can trust Shadow,” Hunter stated.

“How can you be so sure of that?” Crosshair snorted. “She’s probably just settin’ us up as we speak.”

“I do not think that is her goal,” Tech stated with a shake of his head. When his brothers looked back at him, he continued, “Not once has she shied away from telling us exactly how she felt. Were she looking to betray us, she would be trying much harder to get along with us. To earn our trust. That’s perhaps the first step in manipulation, for people do not suspect manipulation from people they trust. The way she acts, it is obvious to me she does not care if she wins our trust or not.”

“She  _ mauled _ a man to earn our favor,” Crosshair pointed out with a growl, teeth pressing into the toothpick that had found its way into his mouth.

“That was no lie,” Tech stressed. “She meant that. I know she did. She cares about clones, even us.”

“You just like her because she’s a nerd like you. You’re just desperate for a woman to like you for once.”

“Enough,” Hunter growled, shooting a warning look at Crosshair as Tech bristled at the insult.

That was not true! He was always right when it came to people, and he was right when it came to Shadow! Crosshair would see! Shadow would prove him wrong and prove Tech right!

Wrecker patted him on the shoulder. “It’s ok, Shrimp. Crosshair’s just pissy Shadow keeps gettin’ the upper hand on him!”

Tech brushed off the large hand with a small scowl as the door opened. They were silent as they made their way around to where Trevor stood by a door.

As usual, he greeted them with a wide grin. “Here y’all go!” Trevor chirped, giving Hunter the key. “There’s a door connectin’ your two rooms, but I wouldn’t go into her apartment without askin’ if I were you.”

“Why?” Tech had to ask. Did she have the place rigged with traps?

“She might just tear you a new one if you do,” he chuckled. “She doesn’t like her stuff messed with.”

Crosshair perked up at that. “Oh, really?”

He could  _ not _ be thinking of breaking into her apartment, could he?

Trevor’s green gaze shifted to him. “I know what you’re thinkin’, Mister Twiggs.”

Crosshair growled, “That’s Mister  _ Crosshair  _ to you.”

_ He does not seem to mind when Shadow calls him that _ , Tech thought.

Trevor held up his hands in surrender. “Fine,  _ Crosshair _ .”

Was that a warning tone? Tech looked closely at his foot stance, the set of his shoulders, and his teeth. It hadn’t taken Tech long to realize that both Shadow and Trevor were far more attuned to body language that a normal human. The quirks were interesting to observe as well, and Tech wondered what only animalistic traits wormed their way into Shadow’s personality and behavior.

Thankfully Trevor wasn’t showing the same signs he had when staring down James, or Tech feared there’d be another confrontation. 

Trevor continued, “If you go diggin’ in her apartment, you might just find something you aren’t ready to find.”

“And what might I find in that brat’s apartment?”

A mischievous grin revealed sharper teeth once again, although Tech was now close enough to notice Trevor’s were duller in color, similar to a Nexu. “Oh, just her  _ arsenal _ .”

“Arsenal?” Wrecker asked eagerly, stepping forward. “What’s she got in there?”

“Nothin’ major. Rifles, pistols, machine guns, knives, machetes, hatchets, axes, a bow staff, and two items of… interestin’ mention.”

Hunter stiffened. “What two items?”

“You didn’t hear it from me!” Trevor said, giving them a two-finger salute and walking away.

“Hey! He asked you a question,” Crosshair hissed, heading after Trevor.

Hunter stopped him. “Don’t, Cross. We’ll find those ourselves.”

Tech jerked. “W-Wait, you mean break into her room?” he stammered as Hunter opened the door and headed inside. She wouldn’t like that! It felt invasive, and that alone was enough to make Tech feel dirty. Like he was breaking her trust.

“Not breaking in,” Hunter corrected as they followed him in. “The door leading to her apartment is open.”

“But…” Tech protested. “That’s invading her privacy!” 

Stopping by the kitchen counter which contained a stove, sink, and dishwater and separated the kitchen from the spacious living space, he quickly scanned the room. The living space functioned as the dining space as well, a table and chairs off to one side by a giant mirror. A couch and armchair faced the large screen and media-stand on the same side as the table. Past the dining area, Tech could see a hallway leading into what he presumed were bedrooms and a refresher.

Setting his helmet on the counter, Hunter made his way over to a door that presumably led to Shadow’s apartment. “Come on.”

Skin prickling with discomfort, Tech nervously followed Hunter into Shadow’s apartment. The room was… oddly sparse. Nothing to differentiate it from theirs.

“Where’s the arsenal that fire breather talked about?” Wrecker wondered aloud, investigating the pantry.

“Fire  _ spitter _ ,” Tech corrected him, peering at the selection of food Shadow had stashed. Not a lot of sugary foods. An interesting thought crossed his mind. Were her taste buds closer to an animal’s? What if she couldn’t even taste sweet foods? Large predatory animals often lacked the taste buds needed for processing that sensory information.

That only gave rise to another question. Was her tongue  _ literally _ barbed? She could eat raw meat, and a barbed tongue would be preferable for cleaning flesh from bone. How exactly did her animal genes affect her physiology?

So many questions!

“She wouldn’t have it in plain sight. She’d hide it in case of a break in,” Hunter murmured half to himself. “She’s clever. Probably has a secret compartment.”

Crosshair headed towards the couch. “Might be somethin’ back here.” Wrecker moved off to help him, no doubt planning to lift the couch.

Hunter looked at Tech who still stood inspecting the pantry. “Tech, go look in her room.”

He froze, eyes flying wide. Her  _ room _ ?  _ Him _ ?! “Why me?!” he squeaked, in a near panic.

“Because you’re the best option. Crosshair she’ll probably attack, Wrecker might break something, and I’m going to find those two  _ interesting _ items that Rageryan talked about. Plus,” Hunter smirked, “She won’t yell at you, she thinks you’re too sweet to be mad at.”

Red crept over his face, both from agitation and something else Tech didn’t want to take a closer look at. “Alright… but if she gets mad I’m telling her  _ you _ gave me the order!”

Hunter chuckled. “That’s fair. Better hurry, she might be out of the shower soon.”

Crosshair snorted, waving his hand dismissively. “Tch, women take long showers. She may be in there an hour or more.”

Tech swallowed and hurried to her room. This was a time sensitive mission, he needed to be in and out before she found him. No time for mistakes, every second counted!

Cracking open the door, his breath caught in his throat. So that’s where she hid her personal belongings. With one glance he spotted two hatchets, a sheathed machete, a bowstaff, and an open bag that revealed a large collection of different knives.

Slipping inside, he eyed the various shredded targets lining her walls. A shiver passed through him at the mutilated flimsi chewed out of the center by presumably a hailstorm of shots. Shadow was definitely accurate going by the placement; all bursts had hit their mark in the upper torso and would have quickly ended the life of the target had it been a living being. Aside from targets, Tech spotted various nautical posters and a rather large poster of prehistoric sea creature fossils. He lost interest in them, however, when his eyes found the large array of rocks and minerals spread across the top of her low bookshelf below a large golden flag with a coiled serpent on it.

She was a rock collector?

Tech excitedly walked over to inspect the display. He counted six geodes, one of which was quite large, two large quartz clusters, rubies, opal, a slab of amethyst druze, and some igneous volcanic rocks. Fossils sat off to the side. Admiring the array, he reached out to pick one up, a dark chunk that he suspected was a tooth of some sea creature.

“ _ Ahem _ .”

Tech jumped and whipped around.

Shadow stood behind him by the referrer door with her arms crossed and a brow raised. The first thing he noticed was the fact her hair was far fluffier than usual. Having switched out of her darker clothes, instead sporting grey sweatpants and a soft-green sleeveless shirt with a strange logo, Tech found her not nearly as threatening even though her arms were on full display. When he met her eyes, however, the sharp blue pinned him to the spot, making him feel as if he were caught out in the field with no cover with an enemy bearing down on him. That gaze made his heart leap anyways, but she’d just found him in her private room. Going through her stuff no less. She had every right to be mad.

Something caught his attention right above the collar of her shirt but he quickly jerked his eyes away before she could catch him staring. That was downright indecent and rude to do but…

That almost looked like the entry point of a  _ gunshot _ .

“Erm,” he swallowed, trying to hold her gaze. “Hi?”

“Howdy.” She continued to look him over before commenting dryly, “Good thing I took clothes into the shower with me. Imagine I walked in here naked and there you were. Where would we be then? Hmm?”

His face grew hot. 

“One bit of Alphian trivia. We can smell arousal.” That time she sounded mischievous. 

He wasn’t  _ aroused _ ! He was just  _ embarrassed _ ! But her species could smell hormone fluctuations? Tech couldn’t help but stammer, “H-Hunter can too! His advanced senses allow him to pick up hormone fluctuations. He sneezes!” 

Her brows furrowed in a confused look. “I’ll… keep that in mind.” A small smile returned to her face. “Also, don’t freak, Tech, I don’t smell anything from you.” She looked over him. “But why are you in my room, nerd?” 

Despite the nickname, Tech noticed her tone lacked the venom and bite from when she went after Crosshair. No, the tone was almost... friendly? Or was he hoping for too much? He didn’t want her to dislike him, but out of the group she seemed to be the nicest with him. That gave him some hope, but telling her Hunter ordered him to investigate her room didn’t seem wise. 

Maybe... he could appeal to her intellectual side? She may have shown a staggering willingness to fight despite her size, but she definitely had more to her than that! If he could bring out that “inner nerd” as Wrecker called it, maybe she would relax? “I... I noticed your collection.” He gestured to the display atop the bookshelf, hoping his hand wasn’t as shaky as it felt. 

To his relief, the defensive look in her eyes disappeared, replaced by a more excited, genuinely happy look. “Oh yeah! I’ve got quite the haul. Ya know, Tech, I don’t mind you lookin’ at ‘em just... ask before you come into my room, my guy.” 

“I apologize.” His stomach flipped when she gave him a soft smile. 

“No harm no foul.”

“It was still improper of me to do.”

She laughed with a shake of her head. “Tech, I look like the proper type to you?”

No, she did not. Her language rivaled Crosshair’s and her willingness to fight matched Wrecker’s. This was no politician or businesswoman in front of him. “Proper” was the last word he’d used to describe her. “Um… not exactly?”

“Good! Worried I was turnin’ soft,” she snickered.

Unsure how to respond to that, Tech cleared his throat. “Erm, can you tell me what these are?”

“What? The resident genius doesn’t know his rocks?” Shadow teased in mock surprise as she walked over to him. 

Tech tried to ignore the warmth spreading through him as she got closer. “Of course I know! I just wanted to see if you knew!” 

She raised an eyebrow. “Oh, that so?” 

“Yes, it is!” 

“You’re cute when you’re flustered, nerd.”

That did not help him in the slightest. “I told you, I am not-” He stumbled off, somewhat confused. “You... you think I’m cute?” Most women passed him over for the other members of their squad. He’d taken to wearing a cap when in civvies and that had helped marginally, but even so...

Her teasing grin faded. “Yeah? And I don’t mean that in a derogatory manner. I’m only half blind, I know a cute guy or girl when I see one.” 

“I... I do know the different minerals,” he offered weakly. Her now sympathetic gaze both annoyed and warmed him. That strange man, Scooter, had been right. Under that rough and aggressive exterior was a kinder, softer woman. Even if she vehemently denied it. Trying to take his mind off her, he began pointing to the various rocks and rough gems, naming them as he went. He picked up the dark fossil. “This is a tooth I believe. Or a portion of one.” 

A grin revealed her own sharp teeth, although it looked like she had the same premolars as a human. “Correct!” She took the fossil from him and he forced himself not to jump when her hand brushed his. “It’s a tooth from a bigass shark called a Megalodon, which literally means ‘mega tooth’. Part of the enamel is still present, so you can see the serration on the edges,” she explained, running her finger along the edge.

“It is a massive tooth,” Tech noted. It was only perhaps a quarter of the entire tooth were it whole, and still it was the size of her palm. 

“Hell yeah. They think Meg was around fifteen to twenty meters in length. Thankfully they went extinct and didn’t evolve into something even nastier.”

She was even interested in evolution and prehistoric creatures! Hopefully he would get to talk to her more on the trail. He never could talk with his brothers about those topics. Crosshair made no effort to conceal his disinterest, Wrecker always got distracted, and he knew Hunter only listened to be nice. Sure, the sergeant liked studying those creatures for battle plans and hunting strategies, and he kept a small collection of predator skulls and teeth he liked, but the topic itself was of no interest to him. 

But Shadow was interested! She even collected fossils! Surely, she would be willing to talk with him about it! 

_ Do not get carried away _ . “Did you get that with the sailors?”

“No, although the ship’s doctor Omar had a mini-collection of fossils.” Sadness crossed her face. “Sucked when he had to leave ‘em behind.” 

Now Tech was curious. Leave them behind? Why couldn’t the doctor take them wherever he was going after the ship? The engineer asked Shadow as much. Sadness shifted to a defensive look, making him regret asking near instantly. “I didn’t mean to offend...”

“Nah, you’re good, Techie.”

His brows furrowed at the nickname. Usually only his brothers called him that, but if her habit of calling even Hunter some absurd nicknames was any indication, she was very informal and loose with protocol. Yet... still respectful. As far as Hunter, Wrecker, and he himself were concerned. She went ruthlessly after Crosshair. Tech counted near twenty nicknames already, each stranger yet no less cutting than the last. 

Why hadn’t he himself thought of calling him Twiggs when the silver haired sniper took to calling him Shorty and Four Eyes? Sleep paralysis demon was also fairly accurate, Crosshair enjoying spooking Tech by standing by his bunk as a cadet and staring at him until he woke up. At least until Tech reacted in terror one night and punched Crosshair in the nose.

He didn’t do it anymore after that.

Shadow continued, “Some of the adventures I had with them were of...  _ questionable _ legality. It caught up to us.” 

He couldn’t help but notice how animated she was when she talked. It was... somewhat cute. The moment the word flashed across his mind, he scolded himself. She’d go for Hunter or Wrecker. She said herself that she enjoyed muscles and humor. Wrecker beat him ten times over in the first department and Hunter had the same dry humor as the Alphian in front of him. She wouldn’t go for him. No one ever did…

He had to switch the topic before he became too caught up in his own thoughts. “Is that why you’re here now instead of with them?” Tech ventured, hoping he wasn’t about to poke at another sensitive topic. If she was as fond of them as she said, parting must have been quite painful. 

“Sorta.”

More vague answers, something she was also fond of. Half the time Tech wondered if she even knew herself what the answer was.

“Tech!”

Hunter’s yell startled them both. The sergeant appeared in the doorway. “You need to-” He stumbled to a halt when he saw Shadow. “Oh. You’re out.”

How had he not heard her? He was supposed to have advanced senses!

“And I find not one but two commandos snoopin’ in my apartment,” Shadow snorted, setting the tooth fragment down and crossing her arms.

“Er,” Hunter shifted. “Four.” He cleared his throat and straightened. “We found something in your apartment that we need to ask you about.” Tech recognized his ‘intimidating soldier’ stance and tone, yet a glance at Shadow told Tech she wasn’t fazed.

“Mate, you know how weird it is for four men to be lookin’ through my shit? Y’all lucky I grew desensitized to male shenanigans on the ship. Ain’t nothin’ sacred anymore,” she grumbled, walking out of her room to follow Hunter.

Tech quickly followed her, not wanting to stay in her room without her. It was bad enough she caught him in there in the first place.

“Alright, Shaggy. What did you find in your unauthorized perimeter sweep of my apartment?”

“Something you need to explain,  _ Jedi _ .”

Tech’s eyes flew wide at the two items in Crosshair’s hands.  _ Lightsabers _ !


	19. Ch. 18 What Are Those

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are reading this before Dec 5, I do plan to rewrite Wrecker's scene! I love him to bits but damn is he hard to write lol

_ Jackpot _ ! 

A large grin spread across Wrecker’s scarred face as he gazed at the weaponry before him. That was one dangerous woman!

Wrecker already knew she was a powerful fighter and had immensely enjoyed watching her beat the absolute shit out of that annoying bastard James, but now he found he liked her even more! Her collection was not as impressive as his own arsenal of course, but his was hard to beat after all. But just look at what she had!

He’d initially gone to lift the couch for his batchmate, only to have Crosshair wave him off. Fine by him, he was free to search for her stash. 

Opening the door had been an issue, but once inside it hadn’t taken Wrecker long to find her stash of guns, sealed behind a bulletproof transparisteel window in her closet. He supposed it had been a bedroom at one point but she’d since converted it into a storage locker of sorts. Getting to them would not be easy, at least not without ripping the storage unit open. And he didn’t want to do that. He’d ask to see them up close later, but for now he’d admire them from outside the glass even though he itched to hold them. 

For being so small, her guns certainly weren't. He may not have recognized the models, but he knew machine guns when he saw them. Sniper rifles too! Crosshair had to approve of her now! In total, Wrecker saw five guns; three rifles and two machine guns. To his surprise, all five looked to be slugthrowers. Strange, she wasn’t a Jedi hunter or Mandalorian.

But boy was she really was something! Bold, daring, quick witted, and slightly insane, and Wrecker loved it. Finally, someone they had to work with wasn't a scaredy cat or downright arrogant.

_ She’s real pretty, too _ , Wrecker thought, faint red creeping across his cheeks. He wanted her to like him, he really did. Sure, she was a fellow pyromaniac and rough houser, but he knew he scared most women away. He was too big, too loud, too brash, too reckless.

But she wasn’t scared of him! Besides, he was Shadow's favorite of the group! Right? That's what the big barn cat said... He swore her own cheeks colored when the cat teased her, the blush faint yet nevertheless there. It was cute, and he would have told her that had he not been certain she'd clock him in the jaw.

How was he to go about this? Could he even accomplish this? He didn't have Hunter's charm, Tech's brains, or Crosshair's skill... all he had was brute strength.

But she liked humor, didn't she? Sure she did! Her jabs at Crosshair were witty and clever, not some half assed insult he'd seen from some. They cracked him up! That sharp tongue of hers and quick comebacks only raised his opinion of her.

Wrecker had only been half joking when he called dibs. Cute, clever, witty, and a fighter to the bone, she was perfect in his eyes. A bit short, but she certainly made up for that in her sheer ferocity.

Five days. A whole standard week! Surely, he could get her to like him in that span of time, especially considering they'd be around each other all day and night. Hopefully he didn’t make a fool out of himself…

Voices from down the hall tore Wrecker from his thoughts. A small smile broke across his face when he heard Shadow's softer tone.

Not soft, just softer.

Heading towards the living room, excitement swelled in his chest. The week started now, and he was determined to make every moment he could count.

~*Earlier*~

Oh.

Oh dear.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

How did that one conversation go in  _ Polar Express _ ?

_ We are in some serious jelly. _

_ In a jam. _

_ Tight spot. _

_ Up the creek. _

_ Up a tree! _

_ Lost in the grass! _

_ I’ll tell you what’s grass! _

I take a shower for maybe fifteen minutes and walk out to find four grown ass commandos snooping in my apartment, one of which was in my own damn room. Tech was lucky he was cute and adorable. Crosshair I wouldn’t have been so nice to.

But now I realized I had  _ much _ bigger problems.

_ Why _ had I thrown them behind the couch and not hidden them deep in my closet or something? Under my bed? Under the sink? In the pantry? No one ever looks in the pantry for weapons!

I was no Jedi, far from it, yet I had not one but  _ two _ lightsabers. How in the Sam Hill was I supposed to explain  _ that _ ?

Hunter turned to me and gestured to the sabers in Crosshair’s hands. “Can you explain what these are doing in your apartment?”

My answer was pathetic. “Those aren’t mine.”

_ Smooth move, Roderick. _

Hunter crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. “These aren’t yours?” he asked, not convinced in the least. Nor should he be.

Trying not to smile nervously, I shook my head. “Nope.”

Hunter slowly stepped closer. “These lightsabers that are on your planet, in your outpost, in your building, on your floor, in your apartment, behind your couch… they aren’t yours?”

His chest plate was roughly a foot from my nose. Tilting my head to look up at him, the nervous smile broke across my face and I shrugged. “I don’t suppose you’d believe me if I said it was a funny coincidence?”

“I don’t suppose I would,” he commented dryly.

“Rat piss. I was worried about that,” I sighed.

Crosshair stalked closer, shoving the shorter saber towards my chest. “We don’t work with  _ Jedi _ ,” he hissed.

I blocked his hand away. “Bitch, watch where you’re aimin’! Point the business end of that shit elsewhere!” I yelped. If I  _ could _ die in this fandom, it wasn’t about to be because of Crosshair’s disregard for basic lightsaber safety!

“You’d better start talkin’, brat. Or you’re about to be in major trouble. You a reject?”

_ Rich words coming from you _ . I quickly caught that before it left my mouth. But it was a damn close call. Way too close. If I called Crosshair a reject, I’d be calling the entire team that. And I wasn’t about to insult the rest of them to get back at this cantankerous telephone pole.

“I most certainly ain’t. I told Hunter. I don’t have the Force,” I growled.

“Then explain,  _ not _ -Jedi, how did you shove Four Eyes into the wall when he tried to stick you?”

Not caring for his tone, a small snarl curled my lip. “Because I’m not a full blood Alphian just like Trevor isn’t a full blood Rageryan. I’ve got another species in me. They’re called Relks, they’re a merchant and artisan trader species hailing from around our planet’s equator. They’re telekinetic.”

“Well well, you’re just a mutt aren’t you?” Crosshair sneered. “Some sort of half-breed?” Something flashed in his eyes and I quickly realized what it was. He was  _ daring _ me to turn it around and throw it back in their face. He knew exactly what he was saying. He was doing this on purpose. Pressuring me. Goading me.

_ Testing _ me.

_ Playing mind games, huh Crosshair? Jokes on you, I was a Psychology Major. For like a semester… but I know a mind trick when I see it. _

I lifted my chin and looked the sniper dead in the eyes. “What’s so wrong about being a mutt?”

Crosshair didn’t move his eyes from mine, but I saw something that I almost dared to call respect flash in his brown depths as I presumably passed his test.

_ Depths… really?  _ **_That’s_ ** _ the phrase you’re gonna use? _

_ Will you  _ **_please_ ** _ be quiet? It’s a descriptive word that works when people have nice deep brown eyes. _

_ He’s got nice eyes now? _

_ I’m Grey, not blind. _

“Cross, stop antagonizin’ her before she goes for your throat again,” Hunter muttered, taking the bigger saber from Crosshair. Turning it over in his hand, the sergeant looked over it before refocusing on me. “How do you have a Jedi’s weapon if you aren’t a Jedi?”

An information dump slammed into me, sending me abruptly to my knees. Brilliant amethyst blades spinning and twirling in front of me, Trevor’s smile, his strong encouraging voice, a set of dark orange sabers in his own hands held in reverse grip just like mine, my muscles screaming, hot sun beating down on my back, sand and earth whipping around me in a small storm to blind my opponent or vines sprouting from the ground and holding them down, an exhaustion deep in my bones as I went through moves and rotations and katas over and over and  _ over _ again until those heavy, deadly blades became an extension of my own hand.

Trevor. Trevor trained me. How he knew all these techniques I had no idea. How he  _ got _ these sabers I had no idea. My last question was answered through a hazy, choppy memory of Trevor and I sitting by a creek after presumably a training secession. He was saying something, something about knowing some guy who specialized in crystal smuggling. He got them from there, then proceeded to get someone else to put them together. Someone we both knew. He lived close. No, not he. She. A name. Sarah. A location… A farm nestled by the river deep in a valley surrounded by vast mountains. Not far away! It was a trail stop… one we’d be stopping at. The first stop.

Sarah was an older force sensitive, once a member of the Jedi order. She was kicked out… no, she left. Left because… freedom. She wanted freedom.

As a wave of nausea washed over me, someone’s rough and slightly panicked voice faded back in, asking if I was alright.

I grunted, “Yeah. Fine. Just… fine. Kinda want to throw up, but I went through too much damn trouble getting that food into my stomach to lose it like this.”

“What happened,  _ Haran’ika _ ?”

Oh, that was Wrecker’s warm, large hand on my back. Why couldn’t I tell through the size? Wrecker’s hand was far bigger than Hunter’s. 

Well, I couldn’t just say it was an info dump. I could, but I did not want to explain the reason I was having them. “Another one of those memory things like I had on the ship,” I sighed.

Wrecker’s gloved hand slightly encircled my upper arm and slowly pulled me to my feet before resting on my shoulder to try and steady me. I staggered briefly and reached up to hold onto Wrecker’s armored wrist before I fell.

“I gotcha.”

A warm feeling spread through me at the sound of his gentle tone. It was quite comforting, especially since his normal voice was rough and loud. I quite liked his gentle tone. Beating the butterflies down with a flyswat, I made sure I was steady and let go of him. “Thanks, I think I got it now.”

“Ya sure?”

“Pretty darn,” I snorted, flashing him a weak smile.

Wait… was  _ Wrecker _ blushing now?

_ Ain’t no complaints. Get you that muscley boy. _

_ Be gone, thot. _

Hunter eyed me with slight worry. “Didn’t mean to cause another one of those… episodes.”

“At least they’re useful,” I sighed, glancing at him. “Even if they are a fuckin’ bitch.” I noticed Tech hovering close by, concern etched into his face. Of course he was concerned, he had seen what my heartrate did during that. “Tech, I’m ok.”

He looked doubtful. “Are you certain?”

“Her heart rate is slowing back to its normal beat,” Hunter confirmed.

Not really wanting to take a closer look at how I felt about the weirdly intimate fact Hunter was listening to my cardiovascular rhythm, I grumbled, “Yeah. Besides, I’ve survived worse. Takes more than that to kill me.” 

“Pity.”

I glared up at Crosshair. “Fight me, angle faced bastard.”

“Tsk tsk tsk, not on your game anymore,” he taunted, a small smirk on his face as he thought he had the upper hand.

Oh, he really wanted to be an ass, did he? “Listen here, you discount scarecrow, start being nicer or I’ll drop kick your five-ounce ass off the balcony!”

Tech coughed suspiciously as Wrecker started laughing beside me. Not that I minded, I could listen to the big guy’s laugh all day. Hunter meanwhile looked to be biting his lip to stop himself from laughing.

Crosshair’s face on the other hand seemed to be torn between anger and surprise. I didn’t blame him, “discount scarecrow” was a  _ rare _ insult. Right up there with the vulture and sleep paralysis demon lovechild one. “You can  _ try _ . You can barely stand, sweetheart,” he said finally, crossing his arms as he looked me up and down.

“Yeah, barely stand  _ you _ .” A new thought crossed my mind and I turned my attention back to Wrecker. “Where were you?” I asked, looking the large clone up and down.

“Lookin’ for your arsenal the fire breather talked about!” he said with a grin. “It’s very nice!”

_ Oh, please do  _ **_not_ ** _ tell me they’re just lying about. I know better gun safety than that! _

“Fire  _ spitter _ ,” Tech corrected, and judging by the look on his face it wasn’t the first time he’d corrected Wrecker on the terminology.

“Same difference!” Wrecker huffed.

“No, it’s not!” Tech protested.

“He can make fire come from his mou-” Wrecker’s eyes suddenly flew wide. “Are those lightsabers?!”


	20. Ch. 20 Shifting Gears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't even my final form lol.  
> Also, can we get an F in the chat for my cactus plant?

Oh. Right. I had forgotten about that for a few blissful seconds. “Yeah, they are.”

“Did’ja panic when they found ‘em?” Wrecker asked, cocking his head to the side. “Is that why ya got sick?”

“No, they asked me how I had ‘em and that triggered it,” I sighed before turning to glare at Crosshair. “That wouldn’t have happened had you just believed me when I said I was no Jedi!”

“So… how  _ did _ you get ‘em?” Hunter asked hesitantly, looking half worried he’d trigger another episode.

“Long story short, Trevor knew a guy and got the crystals from him and a mutual friend of ours who is Force-Sensitive and a former Jedi put them together,” I said.  _ Long story short, ha. That’s literally all I myself know _ .

“How did he get to know someone with access to Kyber crystals?” Crosshair asked, looking at the saber in his hand.

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned with Trevor, sometimes it’s better to not even ask,” I said with a shake of my head.

“Wait, that crazy man has sabers too?” Hunter exclaimed.

“Where do you think I learned how to use mine?” I snorted. 

“But lightsabers are not useful in a fight unless you are Force sensitive,” Tech said, snatching the saber from Crosshair and turning it over in his hand. “How would either of you be able to fight with them?”

“They’re not useful in a  _ fair _ fight, Techie,” I corrected. “I may not be able to block blaster bolts, but I can hold my own in a sword fight.” A sly grin crept across my face. “Because Trevor taught me how to use my Alphian and Relk abilities to my advantage. When fighting an opponent my skill level or higher, I either use Sandstorm to blind, Earthquake to throw off balance, or Vine Sprout to ensnare.”

Hunter looked oddly impressed. “You really do fight dirty.”

“Course I do. Look how tall I am,” I muttered, gesturing to myself. “I ain’t too much taller in my Beta form yet either. That reminds me…” I turned to Tech. “I told you I’d show you one of my other forms, didn’t I?”

A large, excited grin spread across Wrecker’s face. “You’re gonna turn into a critter?!”

“Yeah, big guy. You know that big cat from the barn? I can shift into one of his species.”

“Ooo! I wanna see!”

I couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm. “One critter, comin’ right up.” Walking to the center of the living room, shooing Crosshair out of the way in the process, I turned to face the men. Crouching down, I closed my eyes and focused on shifting into my feral form. It’d be easier to do that rather than attempt Beta form and have to fiddle with fitting my tail through my pants.

But that wouldn’t be a problem here. A haze of mist had already hidden me from sight and sealed away my clothes. I should probably have thought a more realistic shifting process of my main original species, but honestly sometimes in writing you had to say “fuck it, magic time” and run with it.

I heard some gasps as the mist cleared, and when I opened my eyes I found I was eyelevel with Tech. It instantly grew hotter as well, my dense fur doing its job a little too well. Sitting down, I glanced behind me at my massive tail. Yep, that was a Mountaineer tail alright. Thick and strong like a Snow Leopard’s.

“Woah!” Wrecker exclaimed, jogging forward to my side. “You’re the same size at that gray fella in the barn!”

I chuckled as I sat down, voice deeper with a hint of a hiss. “I’m a different subspecies. Still growin’ too.”

“The females exhibit mane growth in addition to the males?” Tech asked, coming forward to my other side as Hunter walked past him to examine my tail.

“Aye. I have more than a Forester would have, namely the presence of a ventral mane, but a Wastelander outranks me in mane growth. Those things are basically a fluffy tank with teeth, males especially.”

Crosshair stood more or less gawking at me, muttering in what I supposed to be Mando’a, before grumbling, “You are one big furball.”

“Finally,” I said with mock euphoria. “A nickname other than  _ brat _ .”

His eyes narrowed but Tech spoke up before the sniper could retort. “Shadow, why didn’t you use this form to run from us or battle us when we first met you?”

“Because she wouldn’t have been able to duck and dodge through that training ground,” Hunter murmured, crouching by my tail and trying to measure the size of it with his hands.

“That tail is as long as my body,” I supplied to the sergeant, twitching a tufted ear before looking back at Tech. “Not only would you guys have stunned me  _ immediately _ , but it’s hot as hell outside. This fur is designed to keep me warm in high altitude environments. I would have had a sore where-ever-you-shot-me  _ and _ heatstroke on top of that. Not my idea of- Where do you think you’re goin?”

The latter half of my sentence was directed at Crosshair, who had begun to wander back towards my room or the other room where Wrecker had presumably found my stash.

The man ignored me and continued on.

“Hey!” I shouted, standing abruptly. A shocked yell accompanied the action as my heavy tail swung and knocked Hunter off his feet, sending him flying back a few feet to land on the couch. I winced, hoping I hadn’t knocked the breath from him. At least the action caused Crosshair to stop in his unsanctioned mission to my room, instead looking back to a partially winded Hunter. 

Shaking his head, the sergeant stared at my tail with surprised eyes. “What the kriff is that thing made of?!”

“Muscle?”

“I’ll say!” Wrecker jogged back and reached for my tail.

I swished it out of his reach, whiskers twitching with slight amusement.

“Aw, come back ‘ere!” He followed my tail.

“Careful what you wished for.” I swung my tail back into him.

He managed to catch it with a loud grunt as it slammed into his chest, but just barely avoided falling down.

Shifting my weight forward to counterbalance, I raised my tail to see if I could lift the demolition expert. Sure enough, his feet left the floor as he held tight to my tail.

“Woah! This tail is strong!” he laughed, swinging his legs back and forth.

“Yeah, but I can’t lift things with it for too long,” I grunted, depositing him back on the floor. “It’s a balance and counterweight for when Mountaineers run down steep mountain slopes after prey. That or a stabilizer when we jump.”

“Fascinating!” Tech chirped.

“Yeah, sure,” Hunter grunted, pushing himself off the couch. Breathing deep to regain air in his lungs, he looked over my form. “How far can you jump in that body?”

I thought for a moment, trying to recall the ratio with Snow Leopards. “About… hundred twenty feet? I myself can leap farther thanks to the Relk blood.”

“Roughly thirty eight meteres! That’s a good distance without the telekinesis!” Tech exclaimed.

“Aye, it is.” I fixed my gaze on Crosshair again as he tried to slip into the hall. “Which means I can take down your giraffe lookin’ headass from here if you don’t cease and desist this very minute, Mister Crosshair.”

“The kriff is a giraffe?”

“Don’t worry about that. Stay out of my room,” I growled. “Or you’ll see how good I am with those sabers.”

“What color are they?” Tech asked, inspecting the lightsaber again.

“Wreck, let go of my tail and I’ll show y’all.”

“Awwww,” Wrecker groaned, releasing the fluffy extension of my spine.

Shifting back into my previous form, I took the sabers from Tech and Hunter and stepped back again, giving myself room. Flipping the switch to ignite the blades, I grinned when the purple plasma crackled to life. Spinning the hilt with my fingers to switch them to reverse grip, I took up a stance and grinned at the commandos. “Ta da!”

Tech eyed them with surprise. “Purple! That’s used by Jedi who employ trace elements of the Dark Side into their fighting and commonly use an aggressive, offensive style of combat!”

I nodded. “Right you are, Techie. So, let that be a warnin’ to you, Twiggy. I fight mean.”

“They’re shorter than usual,” Hunter remarked.

“I’m not one for extended sword fights. Like my Kelusine form’s subspecies, I’m an ambush hunter. Or I fight dirty. They’re lighter when they’re shorter, and easier to maneuver and spin without the risk of slicin’ my own leg off.”

“Makes sense,” Hunter commented, stepping closer to see the blade.

“Ain’t one for aesthetic so… yeah most of my design choices are function only,” I replied, sheathing the blades again.

“I did notice your apartment being rather bare,” Tech mentioned, glancing around once more.

“I had a plant.”

“What happened to it?”

“I seem to have a rather bad habit of killin’ everything I touch so it’s a bit… deceased.” I frowned for a moment before looking at Crosshair. “Hey, Twiggy. Want a handshake?”

He gave me an unimpressed look before rolling his eyes. “I’m done with this show and tell bantha-shit. I’m takin’ a shower.”

“See if you can clean your shite personality while you’re at it, Twiggs,” I called to the sniper’s back.

“I ought to clean that foul mouth of yours,” he retorted.

I bristled at that. “You stay the hell away from my mouth or I will bite you. Ask Wrecker, I do bite.”

“She does!” Wrecker laughed.

“So do tookas. You’re about as scary as one,” Crosshair snorted.

“Then your obituary is gonna be really pathetic when it says ‘Death by tooka armed with glowsticks’,” I shot back.

“Hey, enough,” Hunter said, stepping between us. “Cross, make sure you don’t hog the hot water like usual.”

Crosshair waved him off.

“Oh, hold up!” Wrecker exclaimed, running for the door to presumably try and beat Crosshair to the shower. Crosshair immediately broke into a run himself, prompting Wrecker to yell at him again.

_ They’re siblings alright.  _ “I take it that’s usual?”

“You have no idea,” Hunter groaned. He looked me over for a moment before looking at Tech. “I take it you’re sleeping in here on her couch?”

The engineer looked at me with an almost sheepish expression. “If she does not mind.”

“Nah, not at all,” I shrugged.

Hunter gave a satisfied nod and walked back to their temporary apartment. The swish of his hair when he turned was immensely satisfying.

_ Are you staring at his armored ass? _

_ He doesn’t exactly have an ass to stare at. _

_ The armor probably presses it down. Kinda like a sports bra, only for his butt. _

_ Can you not? We don’t go for ass anyways. _

_ Should I start on his Dorito torso? _

_ You should stop undressing the lethal commando! _

_ But he’s so aesthetically pleasing! _

Tech cleared his throat, making me jump and quickly look over at him. The engineer shifted on his feet, looking uncertain of what he wanted to say. “I… I should probably…” he gestured to his gear. “Check this.”

_ Oh man please tell me he didn’t catch me staring at Hunter’s ass.  _ “Can’t offer tools, but you probably got that covered.”

“Yes! I do in fact! I have a large variety of tools and instruments that I always carry with me for any sort of technical obstacle we may encounter! After all, it is better to have it and not need it-”

“Than to need it and not have it,” I finished with a small laugh. “Yeah, I’d drink to that if I could drink. That was one of our main sayin’s in karate.”

“Words to live by, definitely when you are constantly on missions,” Tech smiled. “Are you good with computers?”

“Sorry to disappoint you, Techie, but I am utter  _ shit _ when it comes to technical equipment. Nor am I any good at math,” I said, shaking my head.

“Why are you not good with them?” Tech asked, tilting his head to the side.

“Because when I get mad, I tend to take it out on the nearest thing to me. I’m no technician, but I know percussive maintenance and sensitive circuits do  _ not _ mix.”

The clone winced. “At least you understand that better than Wrecker. I have lost so many gadgets thanks to his lack of common computer etiquette.”

I had to laugh. “‘Wrecker’ and ‘etiquette’ are as synonymous as ‘Crosshair’ and ‘gentle’.”

“He can be when he wants.”

“Wrecker? Seeing that boy trying to fit in a suit must be a popcorn worthy event.”

Tech shook his head. “No, I meant Crosshair. He can be nice if he wants.”

“Him? Nice? Ha, you’re funny, nerd.” 

A frown dug into the corners of Tech’s mouth. He protested, “I was not joking.”

I crossed my arms, still holding onto my sabers. “You said ‘Crosshair’ and ‘nice’ in the same sentence. You had to be jokin’!”

“I wasn’t!”

“Tech, Crosshair has the same grip on kindness that I do on romance.”

“You do not like romance?” He sounded surprised. “But I thought women enjoyed that genre!”

“Not all of us. In my experience, it only crumbles apart leaves you a broken shell of what you once were.” I shook my head. “I’m stoppin’ myself right here and now before I go down a dark road and get bitter or depressed. That’s not somethin’ I want to deal with tonight.”

“But talking about an issue aids in the healing of it. I’m a good listener, and I’ve studied multiple techniques to aid the others.”

_ Are you an android sent by Cyberlife or something, Techie? Or should I call you Connor, Mister ‘I studied human psyche to better understand them’?  _ “Yeah, that’s why I got a therapist.” I shook my head again. “Tech, if you  _ really _ want to know more on this subject, try again in a few days, alright? I’m already tired and when I’m tired, I get very bitter very quick. That’s not someone you want to deal with,  _ trust _ me.”

“I see… Are you going to go to sleep?” Tech asked, thankfully respecting my wish to change the subject although he still looked curious.

“Nah, not for a bit. If I go to sleep too early, I’ll be up at O’Dark-Thirty. I’m just gonna chill in my room for a bit,” I said. “Oh, that reminds me, I’ll show you where the sheets are since you’re probably sleepin’ in here on the pullout.”

“Oh! I can sleep on the couch as it is, I’ve slept worse places.”

“Yeah, but at least take the chance to sleep in something that isn’t dirt or a hard bunk,” I pressed.

He held my gaze for a moment. “You say you aren’t nice,” he said softly. “But you clearly care about us sleeping comfortably.”

“Don’t get mushy on me, Tech, or I’ll show you my combat skills with a pillow,” I snorted, turning away so he wouldn’t see the red creeping across my face.

Footsteps followed behind me. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“Why are you whisperin’?”

“Because I can tell you do not want the others to know you are kinder than you let on,” he said in that same soft tone, moving to walk beside me.

I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. Catching the kind smile, I had to look away as the butterflies from earlier revived themselves with vigor. I  _ really _ needed to look into an exterminator. “I’d prefer it if  _ no one  _ knew. But… guess you aren’t the worst person to notice.”

His smile grew, but he didn’t say anything.

Luckily, we arrived at the closet and I was able to point out the sheets to him before making a quick get away towards my room.

“Shadow!”

I cursed mentally and looked back. “Yeah?”

Holding a bundle of sheets, he flashed another one of those adorable smiles at me. “Thanks again.”

“Er… yeah. Sure.”

“If you aren’t going to sleep, what do you think you’ll be doing?”

_ Why? _ “Either drafting for my stories or watching videos.”

That was another funny trait of these self inserts. I may have been in another universe or time period, but I had access to everything modern such as YouTube and 2020 videos.

_ Do it. Invite the nerd to join you later. You know you want to. Dew eet _ .

_ Fuck it _ .

“Once you finish your tinkerin’ and get a shower you’re welcome to poke your head back in.” I flashed him a grin of my own. “I don’t mind you in my room as long as you  _ ask _ , nerd.”

He seemed to instantly brighten. “See you in a few, then!” he called, quickly hurrying away to the living room again.

“See ya, nerd,” I said with an amused shake of my head before walking back to my room. 

_ Let’s see what Cory’s got for content tonight _ .


	21. Ch. 21 Fun and Games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, since this chapter IS gonna end up in the inboxes of subscribers, I recently decided to go back and edit the story to be better. That's right, there's new dialogue/interactions to read! And read more smoothly too, since I tweaked the grammar!
> 
> If you decide to reread, know that I love you.  
> If you are reading this for the first time, thank you for reading this far! 
> 
> The last three chapters were written as one then split for easier reading, so transitions are weird.
> 
> Also, Samurai STAND UP

The ankle breaker didn’t disappoint. As usual, CoryxKenshin’s videos were pure gold. The perfect blend of memes and original content. I wasn’t sure really how much time had passed as I watched, but sure enough someone knocked softly on the door right as I clicked on one of my favorite videos of Cory’s.

“Shadow?

“It’s open.” As the door creaked open, I looked up. “Hey Tech.”

The trooper stood fidgeting in my doorway in his blacks, having shed his armor and keeping only his goggles. Dang without all that he was a lot smaller than his brothers. I still did not want to take a punch from him though. His blacks may have been loose but I could tell he had muscle under that. He peaked around the doorframe, trying to see what was on the screen without stepping into my room. “What are you watching?”

“A dude playin’ a horror game about workin’ in a gas station at night.”

“Can I join you?” he asked, looking almost certain I’d refuse. “That is… would you mind if I sat beside you?”

“Course you can, mate. I told you earlier you could. Come on in,” I said, tilting my head to indicate the spot next to me.

Tech eagerly walked in and plopped down beside me, crossing his legs under him. “You like watching people play games?” he asked, adjusting his goggles and scanning the screen.

I leaned back on my hands, legs stretched out in front of me. “Oh yeah. I like playin’ them too, but when it comes to horror games I leave that to others. I’m a sandbox, open world, and lore type of gamer. I like explorin’ new lands and filling my head with worldbuildin’ information. Helps me with my own stories.”

Tech glanced at me. “You’ve mentioned your stories twice before. Once at dinner and once before I went to shower. Do you write often?”

“You could say that,” I chuckled, a smile crossing my face at one of the silly meme edits Cory added in. “I try to write every day, otherwise my characters start yellin’ a bit too loud, demandin’ to be let out. Havin’ around… five hundred characters yellin’ at you gets a bit overwhelmin’.”

“That’s a lot of characters! How do you keep them organized?” Tech asked, attention now fixated on me rather than the screen as he shifted to face me.

“Ha, I don’t,” I said with a laugh, shaking my head.

“But how do you keep their personalities apart? That is, how do you write through each one’s eyes? It must get difficult when working with a plethora of different people of different mindsets and ideas.”

“Honestly… I don’t know myself. I just… know how they would or would react. It comes naturally, most of the time at least.” I laughed again. “You know, one time I was havin’ a bit of trouble writin’ through one character and thought to myself, ‘Oh, I’ll just ask them how they would respond’. Only to realize that I  _ couldn’t _ ask him because he wasn’t even real!”

“Really?” Tech asked, half laughing himself.

“Aye!”

“That’s interesting! I have heard of authors experiencing such a phenomena before, but never met one who could confirm this!” He looked delighted that his theory had gained more evidence. “What kind of stories do you write?”

“Oh, mainly nonsense,” I replied, waving my hand around. “It’s a weird science-fiction and fantasy blend. There’s advanced technology stuff, but also dragons and magic as well as gods and goddesses. I mainly enjoy makin’ original species and environments and frolickin’ in those, or doing found family stories. Bigger adventures are fun but shenanigans are better. The less plot I have to deal with the less likely I have to deal with the imminent attack of a killer plot hole.” I snorted. “Well, I  _ say _ that, yet most of my stories are full length with hella worldbuildin’ put into it. Characters, environments, species, and so on.”

“You design different species?” Tech asked, surprised. “Is it a difficult thing to accomplish? I mean, you must take diet, habitat, locomotion, and other such factors into account for their morphology.”

“Sometimes it’s hard, and I have to put a decent amount of research into them, but other times it just… happens. I can’t very well explain it,” I said, shrugging.

“How do you decide what creatures to mix together?” Tech asked, fully invested in me now. I’d be a liar if I said his gaze didn’t make me feel fuzzy inside. It was always nice to have someone who was actually interested. Who cared what you had to say. As a creator, it made all the difference.

Hell, most of my story universe wouldn’t even exist if that  _ single _ person hadn’t taken an interest in my creations and interacted with me. She had been the only one back then to show any interest. 

Come to think of it… I probably would have quit a long time ago had she not commented on my work. Likes and favorites did nothing, comments were where it was at. 

But my excitement got the better of me with Tech’s question, and I realized I’d been borderline rambling about how sometimes I know and other times I spin a wheel. He probably didn’t expect me to go this in depth. He was probably just asking to be nice. He probably didn’t  _ really _ care what I was saying… and now I was no doubt annoying him.

I trailed off, a small frown digging into the corners of my mouth.

The engineer immediately scooted closer, an action which greatly surprised me as did his next words. “Please go on, this is very interesting!”

I gave a soft laugh. “Sure I’m not botherin’ you with this? You can just tell me to stop if you want.”

His brows furrowed. “What? You aren’t annoying me! Why would you think something like that?”

“People have shut me down in the past, called me annoyin’. My own best friend at the time straight said they didn’t care about my ‘Mary Sues’, a term used to insult a character with bad character buildin’. How was I to know what was good or bad, I just started writin’. Left scars, so now I worry I bother people when I start to ramble,” I admitted, looking back at the screen to avoid meeting his eyes. A small snort escaped me at the loud ‘ _ It’s sweepin’ time _ !’ edit Cory added in as he began to sweep the floor.

That poor man. How long was he stuck sweeping?

“You aren’t annoying me,” Tech assured me, sounding confused. He hesitantly reached out, like he was going to lay a hand on my arm, but seemed to think better of it. “I find it fascinating how you use different animals and blend them into one.”

“Eh, sorry, Tech,” I said, shifting and rubbing the back of my neck. “Old habits die hard, ya know? I know lettin’ one person’s words haunt you is stupid but-”

“If it hurts you in such a way, it is  _ not _ stupid, Shadow,” Tech said firmly, reaching out again but this time resting a hand on my arm. “You weren’t in the wrong for sharing.  _ They _ were in the wrong for telling you what they did. And you certainly aren’t in the wrong for feeling hurt. Especially when it was someone’s opinion you valued.”

I stared at him, unsure how to respond to that. It wasn’t that I hadn’t heard it before, I told myself that very thing more often than I cared to admit, yet it was hard convincing yourself of your own worth. But when those encouraging words came from someone else’s mouth… well it hit different.

A true, honest smile spread across my face. “Tech… thanks. I mean that.” I snorted softly. “No sarcasm from me for once. Whad’dya make of that?”

He smiled back at me, brown eyes warm and soft. “You’re welcome, Shadow.” He let go of my arm. “And may I just say, too, that I for one find your imagination to be quite spectacular. Engaging in creative pursuits is great for mental stimulation.”

“Stimulates my rage half the time,” I laughed dryly.  _ Especially with the  _ Caroline _ Accommodation design. _

_ Does it really need to be absolutely perfect? What are you scared of? A sailor hunting you down and yelling at you because the fire locker is in the wrong place? _

_ Thought crossed my mind. I just want to be realistic. _

_ It’s fiction! On another planet! In another universe! You’ve got dragons flyin’ about, species that die and come back, floating islands, the fucking Farlands, a seven layered realm called Aether which connects the godrealm, afterlife, and dreamverse all in one pyramid like structure and can be accessed through special portals in the waking world, and to top it all off, the Network! Is a boat design really your biggest worry? _

_ It’s a  _ **_ship_ ** _! _

_ Same difference! _

_ Now that’s just blasphemy! _

“Are… you thinking about something?” Tech asked tentatively.

“Sorta. Why?”

“Your face shifted between multiple expressions and your ears and nose were twitching,” he pointed out.

Oh, right. How could I forget what my face did whenever I thought about my stories? “Yeah…” I answered with a sigh. “My face does that when I brainstorm. Or argue with myself. Probably looked crazy.”

“No no!” Tech rushed to reassure me. “Talking to yourself can be healthy.”

“That’s a relief, because I mutter dialogue to myself on the daily.”

“I see! What are some species you’ve created?”

Well... how to answer that without screwing myself over in the future if we did end up going to Kelusia?  _ Depth Demons? I mean what are the odds we’d end up in the Dark Depths, or Aetheria in general? _ “There’s a nightmarish creature I made, called a Depth Demon. They aren’t mortal, don’t sleep, don’t eat, don’t breathe, and can’t be killed. They haunt the realm of nightmares, stalkin’ through the shadows. Watchin’. Waitin’. Always ready to pounce. They shapeshift and mimic voices, become your worst fear or your closest friend. Monsters.”

His eyes had grown wide. “What do they look like?”

I paused the TV. That way I could focus fully on Tech. “Now these bastards I went a bit crazy with. The primary base was a creature from folklore called a Wendigo, but I added shadows, snakes, smoke, fire, and raptor. The body is humanoid, but horribly emaciated, skin wrapped tightly over muscle and bone. The head is nothing but a rotting predator skull, the long muzzle lined with sharp, bloodstained teeth, two sets of horns twisting backwards and out to the side, empty eye sockets that leak tar. Impossibly elongated limbs are tipped with massive claws dark as night and sharper than any knife.” 

I waited to let that information sink in, then continued. “A mane of smoke, fire, and ash surrounds its neck while tendrils of shadows writhe at its back like ghastly tentacles. A long tail tipped with the head of a venomous snake has eyes of molten rock, the same fire burning deep within the monster’s core. The Depth Demon itself has various slits in the skin from which the bright light escapes, giving the beast an even more sinister appearance. They stand far taller than any man, and despite their emaciated appearance are impossibly strong.”

Tech had been hanging onto my every word, eyes wide with wonder and a bit of fear. “And this is a creature  _ you _ designed?”

I nodded. “Yep!”

“That’s… Shadow, how did you ever come up with such a beast?”

_ My mind’s more twisted than a corkscrew. Not to mention I watch horror games for fun and used to watch Nightmare on Elm Street to fall asleep. Still sleep with my Freddy cosplay sweater. That shit is nice and soft.  _ “Horror fascinates me, how humans react when the lizard brain takes over. It’s quite entertainin’.”

“Isn’t it?” Tech chirped, smiling now. He looked excited that someone had an interest in it as well as him. “We claim to be evolved but when we get scared, we become like any other creature. The primal side of our minds regain control and drive our actions. We are no better than the animals we pride ourselves to be above.”

“You get it!” I looked back at the screen. “So, wanna continue watchin’ the Let’s Play?”

“Of course!”

I grinned and hit play again.

“Tech! Where’d ya go?” Wrecker yelled from the other room.

The engineer shot a questioning look at me. I nodded. “You can call him in too.”

“In here, Wrecker!”

Wrecker, also clad in just his blacks, appeared in the doorway and a grin spread across his face. Him I  _ definitely _ would not want to take a punch from. Buff boy! I noticed almost immediately how his muscles weren’t defined or toned, but more solid mass. The kind of muscles one got from a life of using them, not just daily trips to the gym and steroids. Strongman type, not body builder.

Not gonna lie, my “hug” urge had just shifted into high gear. He looked quite nice to hug and snuggle with. To hell with screwing Wrecker, or any of them for that matter, my Greysexual ass wanted cuddles. 

“Well well, what are you two doin’ in here, hmm?” the giant teased, wiggling his eyebrows.

“We were doing nothing of the sort you were insinuating!” Tech protested indignantly, and I had to stifle a laugh as his voice broke.

Oh, poor guy. Wasn’t his fault Wrecker was… well… Wrecker.

“You two in a room alone, sittin’ close, probably nerdin’ out together.” Wrecker laughed, leaning on the doorframe as he shook his head. “How romantic!”

Tech glared at Wrecker, fists clenched as he grew red. Fumbling with his words, he turned to me. “I... I do apologize for...” He gestured vaguely at Wrecker who still stood laughing. “That.”

Holding in my own laughter, I managed, “I think I’m the one who needs to be sorry for you. That is your teammate.”

“Aw, c’mon,  _ Haran’ika _ !” Wrecker happily ducked into my room. “You know I’m a delight!”

“Whatever you say, big guy,” I snickered, flashing a smile at him.

“So, Shrimp, what  _ are _ you two doin’?” Wrecker teased Tech as he stood by his brother. Hellfire, he was even  _ taller _ from this angle. The fuck went into his genetic code?

“Watching a video,  _ obviously _ ,” Tech growled, still red in the face as he gestured stiffly towards the screen.

“Oh,  _ obviously _ ,” Wrecker chuckled, crossing his arms. 

I tried  _ hard _ not to stare at his muscles but was failing. Horribly. 

Unfortunately, Wrecker noticed. “Like what you see,  _ Haran’ika _ ?” he teased, grinning deviously as he flexed his arm.

“Aye.”

The demolition expert looked shocked at my straight forward answer and sputtered for a moment. “Huh?”

“I like muscles and I’m not ashamed to admit that,” I said with a small smirk. A flustered Wrecker was a funny Wrecker. Better drive it home. “After all, I worked hard to get my own.” I brought my arm and flexed.

“You’ve got bigger arms than Cross!” Wrecker exclaimed, crouching down beside me and feeling the muscle. 

_ Hands…  _

**_Stop_ ** . 

“They’re solid!”

“They are… impressive,” Tech mumbled, staring at my arm.

“You go to the gym a lot?” Wrecker asked, enthusiasm spreading across his face.

“My neighbor drug me there a couple times, but when I say a  _ couple _ I can count the number of times on one hand. These aren’t gym built, they were gained from application.”

“I like ‘em!” Wrecker announced, letting go of my arm.

“Why thank you!” I laughed, dropping my arm. “You can join us watchin’ the video if you’d like, Wrecker.”

Was Tech  _ pouting _ ?

“Seriously?” Wrecker asked me, practically bouncing as pure excitement spread clear across his face. He quickly sat down on my other side, causing me to be a bit squished between the two troopers. Not that I was complaining, I was quite comfy between the two commandos. 

Eyeing the shredded posters on my wall, Wrecker gave me a playful nudge that sent me into Tech. “Nice art work,  _ Haran’ika _ !”

I grinned, shoving at him. Unsurprisingly, the mass of muscle that was the demolition expert didn’t budge. “Thanks, Wrecker!”

He shoved me back, which, unsurprisingly, resulted in a tussling match between us. This match I found quite a bit more enjoyable that my first match with Hunter since armor wasn’t stabbing into me. However, this man was straight  _ solid  _ and he was  _ heavy _ . Like heavy heavy. I felt like I was wrestling a tiger or maybe even a damn walrus. Even though he was taking it very easy on me, I was having a hard time. I’d wrestled Tom in the Tintin fandom fiasco, so I’d held my own against men twice my strength before, but Wrecker was Tom on  _ steroids _ .

We rolled into Tech, causing the nerd to get drawn into the brawl. Luckily for me, he seemed to take my side in the fight, pulling Wrecker’s arm away and allowing me to try and jump on the demolition expert’s back. Not that it mattered, Wrecker quickly managed to pin us under him and now laid parallel across us. Tech lay pinned to my right, stuck on his back with Wrecker’s legs across his front. I, meanwhile, was stuck on my stomach with the bulk of Wrecker’s torso on my back.  _ Thankfully _ the man was kind enough to keep most of his weight on his elbows so as to not utterly  _ crush  _ me.

I coughed, the breath nearly squeezed out of me regardless of him being on his elbows, before looking back up at the screen. I recognized this part. Ignoring Wrecker literally on top of me, I wheezed, “Hey! This is where shit goes down!”

Sure enough, as the strange man entered the store Cory screamed, ducked behind the counter, and proceeded to laugh at himself. I laughed as well, since no matter how many times I watched this it always cracked me up.

“What is going on in here?” Hunter asked, appearing in the doorway, also clad in just his blacks. Another muscley boy. His eyes narrowed when he saw Wrecker sprawled over top of us. Crossing his arms, the sergeant raised an eyebrow and tapped his foot questioningly.

I gulped. “Er... we’re watching a Let’s Play.”

He stepped inside enough to see the screen. “I see.”

_ Don’t do it. Don’t you even dare say it. _ “Wanna join?”


	22. Ch. 22 Show and Yell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another of the reposted chapters!
> 
> I am a violent bean with violent tendancies lol
> 
> Content Warnings: Mention of sexual assault/castration

Hunter looked back at me. “You go from not wanting us in the apartment next to yours to allowing us in your private room.”

I shrugged the best I could under Wrecker’s stomach, reaching out towards my controller so I could pause the video. “Eh, later it gets the more chill and laid back I get. Closer I am to midnight the less energy I have to give a shit. Tech, can you reach that remote?”

The engineer wriggled under Wrecker and stretched out towards the controller. Grabbing it, he passed it to me. “Here.”

“Thanks, nerd,” I said, pausing the video.

“Why didn’t you just use your telekinesis to summon it to you?” Hunter asked, walking around us to look at one of the posters on my wall.

“I be lazy.”

“Mmhm.” He stopped in front of my shredded target, inspecting the gash in the silhouette’s forehead. “Nice aim.”

“Knives and hatchets, I can show ‘em to you if you’d like.”

He “I won’t turn down meeting… who was it?” He raised an eyebrow. “Sir Stabsalot?”

“That’s one of ‘em. I’ll grab the others,” I offered, prodding Wrecker’s bulk with an elbow. “Hey, let me up, Wrecker.”

“Say please.”

A comical scowl spread across my face and I looked to Tech. “This normal?”

The engineer sighed. “Very.”

I got an idea that could benefit us both. “Wreck, if you get off, I’ll let you pet my hair.”

I had no idea he could move as quickly as he did. “Deal!” he exclaimed, a wide grin on his face.

“Ack!” Tech coughed as Wrecker accidentally kneed him in the stomach.

“Sorry, Shrimp!” Wrecker apologized, moving to kneel beside Tech as the engineer curled in a fetal position, arms curled around his stomach.

“Shoot, you good, Tech?” I asked, on all fours next to him and Wrecker.

“Fine...”

“You sound like a wheezy squeaky toy,” I remarked, tilting my head to the side. “You sure you’re good, man?”

“He’ll be fine,” Hunter said, kneeling peering over my shoulder at Tech. “I think.”

“Honest, I am quite fine,” Tech groaned, slowly sitting up. Breathing slow, he looked up at me. “You bore the brunt of his weight. How are you able to move so quickly?”

“I’ve survived a buildin’ fallin’ on me, remember?”

“A  _ buildin _ ’ fell on ya?!” Wrecker exclaimed, the volume of his voice causing both Hunter and me to wince.

“Yeah. When I got launched into the side of that buildin’, I went through the wall. Structurally unsound, it was comin’ down anyway,” I said, shifting my weight and waving him off with one hand.

“Maker!” Tech yelped, interrupting Wrecker and gawking at my elbow.

I looked down as my elbow which was currently bending a way it really shouldn’t, making my arm look broken. “Oh. Don’t worry, Tech, it does that.”

“Is that normal for your species?” he squeaked.

“Well ah… no,” I said with a nervous laugh as Wrecker prodded at it with a finger. “Mine are just wonky. My collar bone also rolls!”

“It  _ rolls _ ?” Hunter barked.

“At least I think that’s the term. I can hold my arm out and rotate it around about 270 degrees. It cracks really loud whenever I rotate my shoulders durin’ stretches. My shoulders are hella wonky too, it’s near impossible to get me in a standing pin because I can roll right out. The instructors always told my partners to just drop my arm because it wouldn’t work unless they put me in pain. Wrist locks work! Arm and elbow locks don’t.”

“Can you show us some of your karate moves?” Wrecker asked eagerly.

“I already took a shower, so heavy activity ain’t for me now, but I can show you my favorite move. Rotation Thirteen. Blind Eunuch.”

“Blind  _ what _ ?” Tech squeaked.

“You’ll see.” I grinned at the sergeant beside me. “Hunter, mind bein’ a target for a moment or two?”

He gave me a funny look.

“Mate,” I laughed as I stood up. “I wouldn’t have been able to test for blackbelt if I didn’t have control with my strikes. Besides, I can’t fling you across the room, I ain’t lookin’ to break my stuff.”

“You throw people across the room with this move?” Hunter asked, standing up in front of me as Wrecker and Tech scooted back.

“No, that’s soft style or the jukendo,” I said, taking up a ready stance. “Or Swing Low and Roll where I flip you over my head. I ain’t rippin’ your dick off either, that’s rotation seventeen.”

“You know how to rip a guy’s dick off?!” Wrecker yelped, cringing.

“Yep. I know how to deal a lot of damage,” I said with a shrug before looking back at Hunter who had gone a bit pale. “Easy, Sarge. You haven’t warranted castration.”

“Er… good to know.” He coughed and cleared his throat. “What do I need to do?”

“Punch,  _ when I tell you to _ ,” I stressed. “I ain’t lookin’ to get clocked in the head by a superhuman commando tonight.”

“Where’s my target?”

“Straight punch to my nose. I will not land any blows, but when I tell you to move back you better scoot or you’re gettin’ a jumpin’ roundhouse kick to the gut.”

“Noted,” Hunter said, bringing his fists up.

I positioned my weight on the balls of my feet, ready to move. “Ready, sergeant?”

“Are  _ you _ ?” he asked, narrowing his eyes as a small smirk crept over his face. 

I raised an eyebrow. “Gettin’ cheeky, huh, Shaggy?”

His smirk grew. “Maybe.”

“Then let’s wipe that smirk off your face, shall we?” I shot back, baring my teeth in a feral grin. “Punch!”

The loud smack of his large fist connecting with the palm of my hand echoed around my room. Standing in a right cat stance, weight on my left leg, I curled my fingers around his fist and lowered it slightly to grin at him. Brown eyes stared back in surprise at me as Hunter realized I’d stopped his punch.

“This is where the fun begins,” I chuckled. Throwing his fist down abruptly, causing him to jerk forward, I struck at his eyes with two fingers before quickly following it up with a snap kick towards the groin. Taking care not to actually make contact, I shifted back to my right leg and shot a slide thrust kick with the blade of my foot towards his stomach.

“Move!”

Hunter quickly shifted back out of the way in time to avoid my jumping right roundhouse kick. Spinning and putting my back towards him, I back kicked towards his head. Keeping my balance, I spun back again to face him in a left fighting stance, guard up.

Hunter looked me up and down. “That is certainly a… nice move,” he said, still shaking off the whiplash from the first half of the move.

Grinning, I bowed while keeping my eyes on him. “Why thanks, Sarge.”

Wrecker laughed and clapped. “That was totally awesome! You’re acrobatic!”

“Very fluid as well in your movements,” Tech added, smiling. “I can tell you have put a lot of time and practice into your martial arts. How long did you say again you were in training?”

“About five years. I know… let’s see.” I pondered for a moment. “Twenty-five rotations, three basic takedowns left and right side, at least eight self-defense left and right side, four sets of three jukendo left and right side and…” I paused, counting the names on my fingers. “Eight katas. Then there’s at least three stick defenses and three knife defenses, left and right as well. Three horse stance options, three similar moves called Wings, those are all left and right side too. A couple of other fun moves as well that I can’t recall the names of as well as tons of soft style. I can mix and match stuff together too, which is one of the big things. Options. Especially helpful in four corners where there’s four senseis at each corner and I have to know how to defend against a stick, knife, punch, or kick.”

“That’s… quite an extensive list for a civilian,” Hunter said after a moment of silence, looking me up and down.

“Five years worth! I also know a bit of bo staff.” I gestured to the five-foot wooden stick in the corner. “But haven’t practiced in forever.”

“I wondered what that stick was for.”

“Ah ah, back into position, Sergeant Shaggy,” I said, grabbing his arm as he tried to walk past to pick up the bo staff. Trying not to think too hard on the firm forearm muscle under my hand, I pulled him back in front of me. “Rotation Seventeen is up next.”

“Isn’t that the one you used to rip off that sailor’s dick after he tried to…” Tech swallowed and trailed off, shifting as he stood next to my loft bed.

“Yep,” I replied, making sure Hunter was back in his spot.

Wrecker looked between us two. When he spoke, his voice held anger in it. “A man tried to force himself on you?”

“You know how some men are,” I grumbled. “Not the first time a guy made unwanted advances on me, just the first time it turned really sour. The fact I look like a guy at first glances helps a bit but some men are just animals. But that’s why I learned karate. To defend myself. I prevented it so it remained an  _ attempted _ sexual assault. I won. Even if I got nasty scars across my belly in the process.”

“Scars?”

“Two blade scars.” I lifted the rim of my shirt, revealing the old wounds. They didn’t need to know about me getting shot in the chest yet. “He rushed at me with a knife and managed to score a few hits during the brawl before I managed to get the knife from him. From there he tried to come at me with a haymaker, but I pulled  _ this _ move on him.” I dropped my shirt and turned to Hunter. “Sucker punch on my mark. Alright?”

He nodded. “Give the word. Still to your head?”

“Aye,” I said with a nod, shifting back into my ready stance. “Ready… move!”

A double forearm block accompanied by a horse stance to steady myself halted his swing, the solid sound of muscle hitting muscle resonating around my room. I had my arms turned so instead of hitting him with the boney side of my forearm he got the softer underside. But now it was time to show why this was called  _ Fists of Fury _ .

Backfist to the face, straight punch to the gut, ridge hand to the temple, ridge hand to the groin, grab, pull and rip accompanied with a downward knife strike with my other hand.

Of course I only grabbed air, but judging by Hunter’s shocked and mildly terrified expression, I’d scarred him enough.

“You ok, Shaggy?” I asked, straightening back up.

“Uh huh.”

“Now  _ you _ sound like a squeaky toy,” I chuckled, glancing at Tech and Wrecker.

Wrecker stood with his hands crossed over his groin, a horrified expression on his face, while Tech bore a similar expression with a hand over his groin and another clamped over his mouth.

“Are  _ y’all _ good?”

“That is a  _ nasty _ move!” Tech croaked.

“Well yeah. Fists of Fury ain’t for fendin’ off a rowdy friend. It’s for makin’ a potential rapist regret the moment he ever set his eyes on you,” I said, voice dark. “I’ve only used that move  _ once _ and would prefer it to stay like that.”

“So… er… did you actually…” Hunter stumbled over his words.

“Rip it off? No, but I sure ripped  _ something _ . My job was done, but I made  _ extra  _ sure that son of a bitch would remember my name. See… usually they tell us only use the amount of force strictly necessary to get an opponent off you and then you  _ run _ . Otherwise you get in trouble for assault.”

“What?!” Wrecker yelled. “But they attacked  _ you _ !”

“Yep, but I’ll take the blame. We’re also not allowed to take their weapon and use it against ‘em, because we’re also pegged for assault.”

“That’s bizarre and wholly unfair!” Tech protested. “It’s self-defense!”

“It  _ is _ bizarre, ain’t it?” I laughed bitterly. “But see, we were on a ship. They were criminals anyways. I didn’t have to worry about that bastard or his buddy cryin’ to the cops that I attacked him with no provocation. I didn’t stop tearin’ into him until he was left with a black eye, bruised ribs, a broken nose, and his precious knife buried to the hilt in his own shoulder. I’d kept myself safe, so I took the time for revenge. Hit me, I’ll hit you back harder.” 

“Remind me to never piss you off,” Hunter said, eyeing me with new respect.

“You aren’t the type to try what he did. None of you are. I trust you that much,” I replied honestly. “So, you four are safe from a move like that.”

“That’s definitely good to hear,” Wrecker gulped.

“But that’s rotation seventeen!” I said, wanting to shift the topic. “And that’s enough for tonight. How about we finish the video?”

With agreements from the men, we settled back onto the floor. Tech and Wrecker sat on either side of me again while Hunter took up a position with his back against the wall.

“Oh, right,” I muttered before starting the video. Shifting back, I grabbed my bag of knives and the machete resting on my bookshelf. I slid it across the floor to Hunter. “Have at it.”

He looked at me in surprise but picked up my machete before slowly unsheathing the blade. A low whistle escaped him as he carefully handled the blade. “This is Sir Stabsalot?”

“That’s Slasher. There’s another large silver hunting knife in there that’s Sir Stabsalot. If you dig in there and find a slim black knife about the size of my hand in a clip on sheathe, that’s Ruko.”

Hunter set down Slasher and went digging in the bag again. 


	23. Ch. 23 Middle Ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crosshair has joined the chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Crosshair. You difficult stick. 
> 
> For new readers, yep Im a history nerd and a gun owner.

“Shadow, I know you wanted to shift the topic but… are those boards…?”

At Tech’s question, I looked back at my smaller bookshelf where four broken boards, ¾ of an inch in thickness, were stacked on the lowest shelf. “Yep, I broke those. Two by foot, two by hand.” I scooted back and grabbed one of them before shuffling back and handing it to Tech.

Holding the two halves in his hands, he looked from them to be in surprise. “ _ You _ broke these?”

“Well I wouldn’t own shattered wood otherwise!” I laughed. “Back kick, snap kick, hammer fist, and palm heel strike. I have a scar on my foot from one of the practice boards but I was lucky and escaped my test without severely damaging my foot although the snap kick caused me to limp for a few days. Hell, the entire test did. I lost my wind fifteen minutes into an hour-long test.”

“But ya made it,  _ Haran’ika _ !” Wrecker grinned, nudging me with his elbow.

I returned the grin. “Sure did, Wrecker!”

He winked at me before he scooped up the machete at Hunter’s feet and inspected it. “Nice toy!”

“Thanks man, gotta love collecting items of lethal quality!” I chuckled. “Oh, since I said you could pet my head if you got off me, have at it.”

Setting down the machete, his face brightened and he reached up to rest his large head on the top of my head. I expected it to be heavy. What I didn’t expect was for his touch to be as gentle as it was. Granted my head ducked under the weight of his hand but his touch was still soft.

_ Oh… this is why people like other’s playing with their hair. This ain’t half bad. _

“Shadow… should I hit play again?” Tech asked shyly, holding the controller in his hands.

“Sure, it’s that bottom button,” I said, still trying to decide how I felt about Wrecker’s hand on my head. The man’s palm was nearly the size of my skull.

Tech hit play again and we continued to watch the rest of the video. I had to laugh again when Cory jumped on the counter, but made sure to turn down the volume before the killer attacked him to prevent it from hurting Hunter’s ears. Nevertheless, the sergeant still jumped as blood splattered across the screen. He recovered quickly, however, and went back to sifting through my knives. 

All was going fairly well through the rest of the video until Wrecker hit me with a curve ball.

“Do you purr?”

My head snapped towards Wrecker as his hand still rested atop my skull. “’scuse me?”

“Purr!” he repeated with a smile. “You’re half cat, right? Do you ever purr?”

Both Tech and Hunter looked towards me, no doubt curious as well. Tech especially.

My ears shifted. “Er… I  _ can _ if that’s your question.”

“What does it sound like? If I scratch the top of your head will you start purrin’?” His hand shifted as if he were about to test it right then and there.

I took hold of his wrist to stop him. “I’d really rather not test that,” I muttered. “It’s embarrassin’ when I do that.”

“Oh, ok,” Wrecker said, a bit saddened but at least he respected it. Finally dropping his hand back to his side, he asked, “What about chasin’ lasers?”

“Now  _ that _ I’d love to see.”

I immediately bristled at the sniper’s raspy tone. It’d been nice just these three, but now the dark cloud was back. Standing at the threshold of my room in his blacks, leaning on the doorframe, Crosshair looked around my room before his sharp eyes landed on me. “Aw, what’s wrong? Don’t want us to hear you purr?”

“Better watch it or I’ll get you  _ personally _ acquainted with each and every knife in that bag Hunter’s goin’ through,” I warned. “I may have the ability to purr, may chase shiny things, and my pupils may make me look like an absolute idiot when I get excited in Beta form, but remember this, Twiggy. I’m also a species that was created to be fierce warriors in battle.”

“Fact check, sweetheart. I am made  _ solely _ for battle.”

The underlying bitterness in his tone made me pause briefly. That was true. But yet here I was with freedom to do whatever I wanted while Crosshair… Crosshair didn’t have that luxury. No clone did. They were just slaves, created only to die…

James was right…

Crosshair must have noticed my hesitation because he rolled his eyes. “Oh, don’t get  _ soft _ on me, brat.”

I glared at him. “Sympathy is  _ not _ weakness, Crosshair. Would you rather I be a stone-cold, emotionless asshole who only cares about myself? Only a fool would be cruel for the sake of something stupid like pride or their massive ego. Besides, if I were an ice-cold heartless bastard, not only would you not be in my apartment right now, but I could have killed you four when I first met you to save myself the trouble of dealin’ with you.”

The sniper scoffed. “You really think you could have  _ killed _ us, sweetheart?”

“I may have the sillier traits from felines, but I also am a deadly hunter armed not only with claws and elemental powers, but telekinesis as well. I can kick your ass if I so desire.”

“Doubt that,” Crosshair retorted, strolling in and sitting down with his back against the wall to my left and an arm resting atop his knee.

“Did I say you could come in here, Twiggy?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.

“Don’t have a problem with those three,” he drawled around the toothpick in his mouth, lazily gesturing towards the two commandos on either side of me and Hunter to his direct right.

“Yeah, I like them. I don’t like you or your attitude.”

He sent an arrogant smirk my way. “Best get used to it, sweetheart. You’ll be dealin’ with it a lot for the next week.”

“Guess I’ll just repay the favor.”

His eyes narrowed. “That a threat,  _ sweetheart _ ?”

“Perrrrhaps,” I replied, purposefully turning the word into a purr.  _ Man _ did that feel strange to do. I could mimic a purr decent well in real life, as well as a bunch of other sounds… but that was a  _ true  _ purr. My throat tickled now.

Crosshair raised an eyebrow at the sound, but he didn’t get a chance to comment before Wrecker gasped in surprise.

“That was a purr!”

“Righto, my dude,” I snickered, pointing a finger gun at him.

“Do that again!”

“Sorry big guy, but that was a one time-”

“What’s that?”

I glared at Crosshair as he interrupted me. “Oh, I’m sorry. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?”

He rolled his eyes and pointed a thin finger above my head. “That yellow flag with the snake. What does it mean?”

I looked over my shoulder at my Gadsden flag. “Actually, you know I think you’ll like that flag.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Why’s that? What is it?”

“That’s called the Gadsden Flag, or ‘ _ Don’t Tread On Me _ ’ flag. That’s the wording under the rattlesnake. It was created back during the time my…  _ a _ country was seekin’ its independence from the mother country.”

I really hoped they didn’t notice the slip. This wasn’t America, and I didn’t feel like figuring out how to explain that nonsense. But judging by Hunter’s slightly narrowed eyes, I have a feeling he did. Thankfully he didn’t comment on it, however.

“They were just an amalgamation of thirteen colonies vibin’ across the ocean from a damp island that, somehow, had control of almost the entire planet,” I continued. “Well, there was a  _ lot _ of complicated stuff goin’ into it, but long story short the colonies got sick and tired of being told what to do by a government which they had no representation in. They rebelled, fought for their independence, and won it. That flag became a symbol for freedom durin’ the war. The rattlesnake is the symbol because if you step on a rattlesnake, it’s sure as hell gonna bite you. Similarly, if you tread on the colonists, in this case limit their freedom, better bring a big ass gun because they aren’t goin’ down without one hell of a fight.”

“That is a good choice of symbolism,” Tech mused. “I didn’t know you were into history.”

“For this time period I especially am. It’s personal for me.” I looked back at the flag. “To me, that flag represents being able to live the way I want without an oppressive government or any authority figure breathin’ down my neck all day and night, trying to  _ control _ me. Nobody telling me what to say, how to act, what to wear, who to talk to, how to think, where to go, who to care for.” I turned my eyes back to Crosshair. “It represents  _ freedom _ . Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I am proud to own that flag and will defend my freedom to do so until my dyin’ breath.”

Crosshair held my gaze, dark eyes shifting between mine. A faint smile slowly appeared on his face. “Freedom,” he repeated softly, looking back up at the flag.

“Freedom,” I confirmed with a firm nod. “Where the only person you have to take orders from is  _ you _ .”

Crosshair continued to stare at the flag, softly mouthing the word once more as if savoring the taste of it on his tongue.

“Don’t know about Cross,” Hunter spoke up. “But I know I like that idea.”

“Same here!” Wrecker shouted with a massive grin on his face. “No government tellin’ me what to do? Doin’ whatever I wanted? Count me in!”

I smiled at his enthusiasm. These boys had definitely struck me as ‘Don’t Tread On Me” guys, Crosshair especially, and it looked like my hunch was right. “Just gotta make sure you don’t try to limit the freedom of others, or you’re goin’ against the very thing you claim to be supportin’.”

“That does make sense,” Tech chirped. “People would be hypocrites if they used that flag to oppress others, right?”

“Correct, and they do exist. Give the rest of us, who just want to be left in peace and don’t bother anyone else, a bad name.”

“There’s always got to be people who ruin it for everyone else,” Hunter muttered dryly.

“Yep. And then there’s the people, namely those in authority, who will try to take away everyone’s rights. That’s why I’m rather attached to my guns. I don’t like fightin’, in all honesty. I prefer to resolve things peacefully if I can. But if I need to fight, I like to know I can.”

“That’s why you have a small array of guns, then?” Tech asked. “As a safety measure?”

“Safety measure is right, and not just against a robber or enemy combatant. It’s to defend against all enemies, foreign and domestic. After all, better to have it and not need it…”

“Than to need it and not have it,” Tech finished with a smile.

“They were nice guns.”

I stared at Crosshair in utter shock. Was… was that a  _ compliment _ ?! “Who are you and what have you done with Crosshair?”

Dark eyes narrowed. “What are you on about?”

“You just said you liked my guns.”

“I appreciate a nice piece of work when I see one.”

Did… did his eyes shift over me for a moment? No, I had to be imagining it. There was  _ no _ way he just complimented me personally.

“They are nice guns,” Hunter commented slowly, eyes shifting between Crosshair and I.

Using him as an excuse to break the staring contest with Crosshair, I looked over at him. “You looked in there too?”

“The door was open.”

I looked at Wrecker accusingly.

The giant laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “I… er… forgot to close the door.”

“Thanks for that, mate,” I grumbled.

“Did you name the guns like your knives here?” Hunter asked, holding up my three SOG throwing knives. Crosshair took the bag from him and started digging around in there as well.

Ignoring the fact Crosshair looked like a raccoon rummaging through a trash bin, I shifted my eyes to Hunter’s. “Yep. The two autos are Tommy and Gunner.”  _ Or at least they would be if I had them in real life…  _ “And the rifles are Kindness, Truth, Predator…” I paused, took a deep breath, and sighed. “And the fourth is Crosshair.”

The sniper paused in his rummaging, remaining still for a moment before his eyes raised to meet mine. “You named a rifle after me?”

I held his gaze. “As I said earlier. I respect your skills.”

A grunt was his response as he went back to inspecting my knives, but the smug look had left his face. He looked almost… confused.

“Nice names!” Wrecker laughed, nudging me again as he broke the silence.

“Can you show me them after the next video?” Tech asked. Out of all the men, he was the only one who hadn’t seen them.

“Sure thing, nerd. At least you  _ asked _ ,” I said, shooting a good-natured glare at Wrecker.

The demolition expert laughed nervously again. “So… uh… got any other good horror games you like to watch this guy play?”

A sly grin crossed my face as  _ Krampus is Home, Escape the Ayuwoki, and Bonbon  _ came to mind. “Oh, I think I can find somethin’.”

“Only two more,” Hunter said, settling down against the wall. “We’re getting up early tomorrow.”

“Copy that, Sarge,” I chuckled.

The man flashed a small grin at me and crossed his arms as he got comfortable. 

Looking back at the screen to search for the videos, a warm feeling spread through my chest.  _ Maybe this self-insert won’t be so bad after all.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tis the end! Be sure to click the next story or leave a comment if you enjoyed! See you next time! <3


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